We’re taught so many things about God that make us afraid to listen to ourselves.Afraid to leave. Afraid to change. Afraid to disappoint the image of who we were supposed to be. And quite frankly, afraid of God.
For some of us, it starts in the church. For others, it’s in the family systems that told us to be good, to endure, to make it work. And when we don’t — when we choose differently — we’re made to feel like we’ve failed. The real tea that we discuss in this episode is that there can often be self-imposed fear and expectations. 👀
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When I sat down with Netta Fei, certified spiritual coach, author of A Most Useful Betrothal, and founder of True Self Society, we talked about what it really means to come home to yourself after being shaped by those systems — especially when it comes to love, marriage, and the courage to walk away.
For Netta, divorce was something she once believed wasn’t in her DNA. For me, I didn’t even have a template for it. But both of us had to confront what happens when the versions of us who were trying to be “good” starts to feel unrecognizable.
We talked about:💔 The guilt that comes with choosing yourself🔥 The power of unlearning fear-based love🌙 The difference between suffering and surrender💫 And how, maybe, God isn’t punishing you for walking away — maybe God’s been waiting for you to finally say yes to yourself
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🪞 Reflections
There’s a point in many women’s stories where choosing yourself feels like disobedience. But what if that moment is sacred? What if it’s the divine saying, I’ve been here all along — waiting for you to choose you? Waiting for you to co-create with us.
This episode of Flowers for the Living is a love letter to every woman who’s ever stayed too long, apologized too much, or mistaken endurance for devotion. It’s about learning that liberation is holy — and sometimes, faith looks like freedom.
Episode Resources:
* Power and Control Wheel - a tool used to understand relational abuse and its many forms.
* National Domestic Violence Hotline - tip, if you know someone in a domestic violence situation like this do not forward them the link as internet usage can be tracked instead give them the following number to call: 800.799.SAFE (7233).
* Learn more about our guest Netta Fei in The Mediocre Black Woman Directory we’ve created a beautiful page for her, displaying all of her great works.
🎙️ From The Mediocre Black Woman | with Goddess Theadora
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🌹 Drop a rose in the comments for Netta Fei and share what stayed with you.
Because maybe… God’s been waiting on you too.
xoxo,
Goddess Thea
