When something unjust happens in front of you, how do you respond? Do you freeze? Do you act? Do you wish later that you had done something?
The reality is, in high-pressure situations—whether it’s witnessing an act of public harassment or facing institutional pressure to compromise values—our ability to respond effectively often comes down to one thing: preparation.
Resources Mentioned:
Right To Be (info on Upstanding, including training)
Engaging Bystanders information from the National Sexual Violence Resource Center
The Power of Planning Ahead
There are two main areas where planning your response makes a difference:
* In-the-Moment Situations – When you're physically present and witnessing something happening right in front of you.
* Organizational Challenges – When a business, nonprofit, or institution is forced to navigate new policies or restrictions that may challenge its core values.
Both require clarity about your boundaries, confidence in your decisions, and a willingness to act.
What Would You Do in the Moment?
Recently, a disturbing incident in Coeur d’Alene, Idaho, put this question into focus. A woman at a town hall was physically removed by security personnel who had no legal authority to do so. The video of the event circulated widely, with many people asking, Why didn’t anyone do anything?
It’s a fair question. But the truth is, when we don’t plan for moments like this, we often freeze. That’s why understanding how to be an upstander—someone who takes action rather than standing by—is so critical.
Here are a few strategies:
* Support the person being harassed. Instead of focusing on the aggressor, check in with the person being targeted. A simple, “Are you okay? Do you need help?” can be powerful.
* Use your presence. Standing with someone, making eye contact, or engaging them in conversation can shift the dynamic and de-escalate the situation.
* Document what’s happening. If safe to do so, record the event. Videos have been crucial in holding people accountable and ensuring that justice is served.
* Speak up as a group. There’s power in numbers. If multiple people in the crowd had verbally challenged what was happening—saying, “This is not how we do things here”—the situation could have unfolded differently.
The more you think through these possibilities in advance, the easier it becomes to act when it counts.
Planning Your Organizational Response
It’s not just individuals who need to be prepared. Organizations, especially nonprofits and businesses, are facing increasing pressures to comply with shifting government policies.
A recent example? Changes in National Endowment for the Arts (NEA) grant applications that prohibit references to diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI). Some organizations can work around this by subtly adjusting their language. But for others, DEI is at the core of their mission, making this restriction a direct threat to their values.
So what should organizations do?
* Decide your red line ahead of time. What are you willing to adjust, and what will you absolutely not compromise?
* Anticipate escalation. If you comply now, will more restrictions follow? How far will you go before saying no?
* Consider alternative funding. If grants or contracts come with unacceptable conditions, is there another way to sustain your work?
Just as individuals need to prepare for how they will respond in difficult moments, organizations must think strategically about their long-term integrity.
A Call to Action
Being an upstander isn’t always easy. It can feel uncomfortable, risky, or even overwhelming. But when more people step up, it shifts the balance of power.
If you take nothing else away from this conversation, let it be this:
* Think about your response before you find yourself in a tough situation.
* Learn about upstander strategies and how to support people in crisis.
* If you’re part of an organization, define your boundaries now—not when you’re in the middle of a difficult decision.
When enough people are willing to stand up, speak out, and push back, we create a culture where silence is no longer the default.
What do you think? Have you ever been in a moment where you wished you had done more—or one where you stepped up? Let’s continue the conversation in the comments.
