This episode is not safe for work—or for young ears—because sometimes polite language just doesn’t cut it.
In this week’s episode of A Couple Thinks, we unpack an essay, posted in August, by John Pavlovitz, that caught our attention: the idea of a F*ck It List! It’s a rethinking of the classic bucket list for a moment when waiting for things to “settle down” no longer makes sense.
The core idea is simple but unsettling: pretending that normal is just around the corner is keeping many of us quiet, cautious, and stuck. Instead of waiting to speak up, live fully, or pursue what brings us joy, Pavlovitz argues it may be time to stop sacrificing our integrity, voice, and energy to preserve systems and relationships that are actively harming people.
In the episode, we explore three big areas where “f*ck it” might apply:
* Relationships – What do we do with people in our lives who repeatedly supported Trump and the ensuing harm caused by him? Is disengaging a moral failure—or an act of self-preservation?
* Voice & authenticity – How much have we edited ourselves to avoid conflict, and what has that silence actually cost us?
* Joy & deferred dreams – Trips not taken, projects postponed, passions shelved “until things get better”—what if that time never comes?
We wrestle honestly with the tension between compassion and boundaries, strategic patience and moral clarity, and the reality that our time and energy are finite. As always, we also share concrete actions you can take right now—and end with our joyful moments, because joy itself is a form of resistance.
🎧 Listen to the full episode to hear the full conversation, our disagreements, our laughter, and where we ultimately land.
