Recorded in the beautiful home office of Chateau’ Relaxo Florida. Tonight is not about my travel stories it’s just me remembering my dad.
On July 4th, 2022 my dad passed away, he was 86. He likely planned to go out with a bang and what better day to do that than July 4th?
The year was 1994 and that was when my dad introduced me to craft beer. My dad was not a “beer guy” but he was an early adopter of almost everything long before the internet. That year he was living in Ashville, NC and he came to visit us in Lawrenceville, GA with him, he brought two growler-sized bottles of Gaelic Ale from Highland Brewing a brand new brewery near his home. Gaelic Ale still is this wonderful red ale weighing in at 5.8% ABV, it is delicious and it started me down the path of craft beer.
In honor of that most of this episode's show notes were written while enjoying several of Highland Brewings IPA’s.
We don’t always realize what parents instill in us.
Some things are a no-brainer, my love of music came from my parents. Neil Diamond, Mac Davis, and Ray Charles were just the beginning.
But as I grew and quote un-quote matured I noticed myself mirroring many of the actions and behaviors that I saw my dad exhibit, especially in regards to the business world.
I called my Dad the original road warrior, and before I accepted a traveling job we had a long talk about business travel. He gave me the highlights, exciting places, great food and he told me you’ll meet all sorts of people.
He also gave me the lowlights, you’re away from family, you’ll miss school concerts and plays, you’ll wake up at ungodly hours in order to catch an early morning flight and there will be Friday nights that all you want to do is get home but you won’t.
As with all good road warriors he had his share of stories as well.
In the early 1970s’ we lived in Rockville MD and my Dad worked for Xerox as a regional manager for their copier division. Here’s a side note, our next-door neighbor worked for IBM selling the IBM Selectric typewriter. This was the first electric typewriter with a ball instead of keys that struck the paper. My dad was selling Xerox copiers and our neighbor was selling IBM Selectric typewriters these two never missed their sales quota.
After my dad’s first quarter at Xerox, one of the VPs’ called him into his office to discuss his travel expenses. My dad was nervous thinking he hadn’t been a good steward of the company's money. Well, the conversation was quite the opposite of that, my dad was being too good of a steward. He was so far below his travel budget that the VP was afraid that the finance department was going to reduce the region's travel budget the following year. You see at the time when you worked for Xerox and you were on the executive management team you flew nothing but first class, and my dad was booking coach tickets. In 2022 coach or discount tickets is the norm.
If you know anyone in sales they are typically very competitive. Throw a sales contest or a quota buster program in front of them and they tend to salivate.
One evening my dad comes home with a beautiful Belgium made Browing goose gun that he had won in a sales contest. Up to that point, my dad's exposure to guns had been limited to my Crossman BB gun and some tin cans in the backyard. But in addition to the shotgun, it also came with a guided Canadian Goose hunting trip, which was also something new to him.
He went on the trip and believe it or not he came home with a lifeless Canadian Goose. His plan was to pluck it and have my mom cook it and serve it as a meal
We were all impressed by his hunting prowess until we discovered that this guided goose hunt consisted of the contest winners standing on a dock at daybreak as the guide opened a cage, and then kicked the cage until the geese wandered or flew out. Similar to shooting fish in a barrel, but with feathers.
When it came to the goose plucking and cleaning part my dad made it about 15% in before he gave up and decided that a store-bought ham for dinner was a better choice.
I’ve told this story before but in 1970 my dad was transferred from California to Maryland. My dad flew out a week early because I had chicken pox and I was still contagious.
We had a cat, Charlie, and Charlie was pregnant. Apparently, Charlie was transgender before it was commonplace. Somehow it was decided that my dad would take pregnant Charlie with him to Maryland. Now in 1970 cats didn't fly in the cabin they flew in the cargo area, how barbaric. The vet gave us some kitty Vicodin or kitty Prozac so Charlie would be less stressed during the flight.
My dad arrives at Dulles and heads to baggage claim to get Charlie and her cat carrier. When he hits baggage claim there are all sorts of commotion, loud voices, and people pointing. My dad made his way to the luggage belt only to see Charlie and her cat carrier on lap three of four, except now it’s Charlie and her two newly born kittens. My dad claims he waited for everyone to leave the baggage claim area before he grabbed Charlie, the kittens, and the cat carrier and headed to his taxi. Later that night Charlie delivered kitten number three and kitten number four in his apartment.
In 1972 my Dad was transferred again, this time from Rockville, Maryland to Dallas, Texas. Here’s another side story, we moved on average every 24 to 36 months. In the corporate world, the general rule at the time was that if you turned down a state-to-state transfer your upward progression in the company came to a grinding halt. When it was time to move we generally knew it because my mom would make pancakes for breakfast while dad presented a brochure of the new house pointing out all the highlights, a pool, it was on a lake or it had a basement where we could put a pool table. In hindsight moving so often helped me to easily establish relationships with new people, and to this day it is a huge benefit in my career.
In case you didn’t know, Dallas is Southwest Airlines' home base. And in 1973 the now defunct Braniff airlines, which was a competitor began offering a $13 fare from Dallas to Houston. At the time this was Southwest's only profitable route.
Southwest smartly responded by offering to match the $13 Braniff fare or you could pay the full fare of $26 and get a free bottle of Chivas, Crown Royal, or Smirnoff.
At the time the Dallas to Houston route was typically flown by business travelers, business travelers flying on expense accounts which meant the Southwest $26.00 full fare passed underneath the bean counters radar.
My dad flew that route weekly and our liquor cabinet quickly overflowed with booze compliments of his expense report and the advice of his VP two years before.
Sadly, the $13 fare war promotion didn’t last long but Southwest became the largest distributor in Texas of Chivas, Crown Royal, and Smirnoff for two months in a row.
Travel also has its tragedies, and often times it hits close to home.
Three people on my dad's team were flying to the project site when their plane crashed killing almost everyone on board including those three team members.
The funeral home had three caskets in three different rooms for the wake and service. My dad says that was one of the toughest days in his life going room to room and speaking with their wives and parents. He’s never shared any detail beyond what I just told you. No name, no cities, not even the airlines.
The following week Xerox issued a policy that no more than two principals on a team could travel together.
My dad was also a great negotiator, or I should say a fair negotiator so long as everyone had skin in the game.
For instance, in Middle School, I discovered that fellow classmates were getting paid for good grades on their report cards so I asked if he could do the same for me.
He agreed, but this was the arrangement
A - $1.00
B - $.50
At this point, I began smiling
C - Nothing
I was still smiling
D - I owed him $.50
F - I owed him $1.00
When it was time for my first car he came to me with this deal. He would match every dollar that I saved, but in order to get the money and buy the car, I had to get all Bs’ or better on my report card.
It’s all about having skin in the game, just ask my 1973 Dodge Duster with the lift kit and 60s”
My favorite negotiation story is this one. My dad was a “car guy”, a convertible Austin Healy in his 20s’, a Chevy SS in his 30s’. There was the disastrous 1982 turbo Ford Mustang, a Mercedes coupe that he held onto for almost 30 years, and the 1984 fuel-injected turbo Dodge Daytona that he and I passed back and forth several times.
The year was 1986 and a computer game company had offered him the position of CEO, but it came with a catch. If he came on board he had to immediately fire the owner's two sons. The owner couldn’t do it because he was afraid of his wife's wrath. The compensation package was solid, including a company car, not bad for 1986. My dad accepted the offer including firing the sons, but on one condition he wanted his company car to be a 1987 BMW 325i convertible.
This was the first year the BMW 325i came with a drop-top and it was going to be in short supply once it hit the dealer showrooms. In late 1986 my dad received one of the first three 1987 BMW 325i convertibles to hit Arizona.
In 1990 I moved back from Florida back to Atlanta and one of our traditions was attending his alma mater Georgia Tech’s annual homecoming game in the fall. The morning would start by watching the “Wreck Parade” where the engineering students would Frankenstein some sort of a vehicle together that humiliated the opposing team….. Think of Animal House without the nudity.
After the parade, we’d head across the street to the Varsity for lunch and then back to the stadium where’d he’d buy tickets from a student that was selling one of the players extra tickets. This is an amazing college game day life hack.
One year the tickets he bought were on the 50-yard line right next to the student fraternity section with only a 3’ high chainlink fence separating us from them, or them from us. The frat boys seated on the other side of the fence had smuggled in their own libations and by late in the game, they were hammered, which was fine until they started yelling obscenity-laced pickup lines at the female students. In 1992 I was 28 and he was 56 and before I knew it he was heading over the fence to straighten these Georgia Tech frat boys out. Thankfully I was able to grab his belt and stop his really bad idea before he was on the other side of the fence. My dad wasn’t a violent man at all, and where this behavior came from I don’t even think he knew.
Another thing that I learned from my dad is value in things that you purchase, or as he used to buy once cry once.
For example, he bought a beautiful set of gold-rimmed pheasant embossed old fashion and highball glasses in 1970. When we moved into Chateau’ Relaxo he gave them to us as a housewarming gift, and they still look brand new and are one of my prized possessions.
Thirty years ago he purchased a Denon receiver and a set of Polk speakers. They were well in excess of $1000.00 and to this day they sound better than anything your iPhone and Bluetooth speaker can produce.
As we cleaned out my parent's house I saw more evidence of buy once cry once. His Craftsman tools are over 50 years old, I found a still working Sony Discman from 1987 and a set of Hofritz kitchen knives from 1976 that they still use.
To this day my buy once cry once scenario that I passed on was that hunter green 1994 Range Rover Defender. At the time the cost was an astronomical $33,000 current value north of $70,000.
On top of that, my dad was a true foodie, and he taught me to appreciate food experiences at a very young age.
By the time I was a teenager I knew how to grill on a charcoal grill, I could crack king crab legs and I appreciated something as simple as Brunswager on Ritz crackers.
He also loved food gadgets. In the 1970s’ our houses had a Jenn Air range in the kitchen long before anyone else did. Many food gadgets were used once or twice and then went to live and gather dust in the pantry. For example, the bread maker, what a great idea. We could make wheat bread, rosemary bread, or banana bread if we wanted to wait 5 hours.
He had his own ROMEO group, Romeo as in Retired Old Men Eating Out. His crew would pile into someone's car and drive 3 hours one way for a BBQ lunch at their favorite South Carolina spot. Or they’d head over to the local college every Wednesday when the culinary students opened the cafeteria to the public.
Here’s a foodie one for you, my dad was a Trader Joe’s peanut butter fanatic, He didn't live near a Trader Joe's but my sister would bring him six jars at a time when she’d visit. In 2021 he had a blood transfusion or two and I don’t think he had any desire for peanut butter after that.
My dad was also a very giving man, giving his time to his church and giving anything he had to his family.
Once he hit it big in Las Vegas and hitting it big meant $500.00. Who knows how much he lost in order to win that $500.00, but he sent my sister and me a $100.00 check in the mail to celebrate.
When I was nineteen my dad transferred to Atlanta leaving the rest of us in Florida to sell the house. Interest rates were over 13% at the time and the house took close to 18 months to sell.
Here’s another side story to that, when the house finally did sell my mom came home and told me they were closing in three weeks and I could have my bedroom furniture, the kitchen table, and a $1000.00. I was 20 years old.
Back to the original story, one weekend I flew into Atlanta for a father-son weekend in the mountains. After landing, we headed up to one of our family's favorite spots Amicalola Falls for a streamside lunch and some hiking.
Once we got to the parking lot of the falls, my dad said he had a surprise for me. He opens the trunk of his car, and there’s a case, a case of Carlings Black Label beer. Possibly the worst beer on the face of the earth. Over the course of a typical year, my dad might have 6 or 7 beers at most. I looked at him, looked at the beer, and looked back at his smiling face, and I said, “This is going to be one hell of a hike”.
Time with my dad was filled with all sorts of good times and great memories, I will miss him. It was through his guidance that I ended up on the career path that I’m on and up until the end, we had many business-based conversations about my industry including the one in his final days where he thought I owned the company that I currently work for. I didn’t have the heart to correct him.
There is so much more that I learned from my dad, actually both my parents and I realize it more and more with each passing day.
My mom and my mom did it right, and I’m thankful for that.
This episode was to have contained my thoughts on elder care based on what the CEO and I had learned over the last five or six years. However, the Highland Brewery IPAs’ were flowing and the show notes got too long. So look for an elder care episode next month.
Thank you for listening to my memories, my dad was my hero.
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As I always say, travel safe, stay safe, and thanks for listening.
Thanks for listening.
