Recorded in the beautiful home office of Chateau’ Relaxo
This episode is being posted a solid week after June 1st, and the reason was that I was attending a conference in San Antonio, Texas the first week in June and due to the time change and commitments, I barely had a free hour to record much less a free hour to edit the audio.
During May I spent 5 nights in the beautiful Demorest, GA Hampton Inn & Suites. And I’m here to tell you that this property has removed any indications that there was ever a COVID situation. Short of no daily housekeeping without requesting it and the remaining hand sanitizing stations outside the elevator there was no “break the seal” sticker across the room door, no condom protecting the TV remote, and nothing mentioning anything about masks. Possibly the biggest change was a typical Hampton Inn serve yourself breakfast was on display each morning. Square eggs, no bagels wrapped in Saran Wrap, and malted waffles were back on the menu.
The next trip was Monday - Friday in San Antonio, TX. Now I’ve discussed that I’m not an airplane or airport nerd. I rarely know which model plane I’m flying on. I know that Southwest flies 737-700 and 737-800, but visibly I can’t tell them apart.
I know a few airport codes, Newark - EWR, Atlanta - ATL, and Orlando - MCO. This next segment is where airport codes come into play. A few weeks ago another team member, a baby-baby roadwarrior that was meeting me in San Antonio sent me a message, letting me know that there were no flights on Travelocity out of San Antonio back to Newark on Friday. I message back, don’t use Travelocity book directly through the airline. A few minutes later I get another message, still no flights on Friday. I stop what I’m doing and head to United.com and find no less than six flights on Friday from SAT to EWR…. and that’s when it dawned on me that, the baby-baby road warrior was looking at the airport code SAT and thinking it was the day of the week for departure. So I guess there is value in knowing airport codes.
During these two trips, I broke one of my travel rules not once, but twice. And that rule is to avoid business travel during holidays. The first breach was my trip back from Demorest, GA took place on Friday, May 27th the start of Memorial Day travel. This turned a 7-hour drive into a 9-hour odyssey down backroads and through national parks.
The second breach was my flight to San Antonio was on Monday, as in Monday, Memorial Day.
My flight to San Antonio started out on the bright side with the Southwest boarding assignment Sunday night of Group A Position 01 which means I was the first one boarding the plane after those that needed assistance.
Monday morning news shows were filled with story after story about how bad the airports were on the last day of the three-day weekend. Limited parking and long TSA lines were the common themes.
My departure from Orlando International resembled none of that. I found a parking spot close to the elevator and TSA was less than 5 minutes including a secondary screening of my carryon.
After the door of the airplane was shut I found myself with the middle seat next to me vacant. Then the flight attendant announced that there was a parent and child that needed to sit together and would anyone with a vacant middle seat next to them be willing to move so they could indeed sit together. I volunteered knowing that I was about to get stuck in a middle seat for the flight… that was until the row that I picked was actually a couple traveling together that decided to try the old split the middle seat trick where one sat in the aisle and the other took the window seat hoping no one would take the middle seat. They sat next to each other gave me the aisle seat and to top it off the Southwest flight attendant hot me up with a free double of Wild Turkey 101 and Gingerale.
Onto the May crazy travel roundup. Friend of the show Robbie Morris told me that this month's episode could have almost written itself, and he was spot-on.
First a few crazy travel updates.
Via BoingBoing - 15 months for woman who punched flight attendant's teeth out.
Remember Vyvianna M. Quinonez? She was sentenced to 15 months in prison for punching out a flight attendant's teeth on a Southwest flight in 2021. The reason for the unscheduled dental work? A flight attendant had asked Quinonez to mask up;
Quinonez pleaded guilty last year after being charged with felony assault and interfering with a flight. Quinonez is to pay nearly $26,000 in restitution and a $7,500 fine.
Second, via the whole internet - Mike Tyson won’t face criminal charges over last month's airplane attack.
Third, how about Maxwell Berry? Maxwell Berry and you know that no one ever calls him Maxwell, it’s always Maxwell Berry. Last year Maxwell Berry assaulted a male flight attendant and groped two female flight attendants on board a Frontier Airlines flight to Miami, thank you Florida. This behavior resulted in Maxwell Berry being duct-taped to his seat for the remainder of his flight.
Here’s the update, Maxwell Berry has been sentenced to 60-day in jail followed by one year of supervised release, fined $2,500, and ordered to pay $1,500 in restoration over this incident. Maxwell Berry must surrender himself by August 1, 2022.
Fourth, Spirit Airlines rejects JetBlue's takeover bid and will pursue a merger with Frontier. I promise there will be more on this, but at this point, I view this as Frontier being Spirit Airline's hot side chick…. Which never ends well.
Onto the May crazy travel - Man opens emergency exit, walks out onto wing of moving plane at O’Hare Airport.
From 102.5 The Bone we get - A man is in custody after allegedly opening the emergency exit and walking out onto the wing of a United plane while it was moving Thursday morning at O’Hare International Airport.
Before we go any further everyone knows that I am a fan of travel stories that involve exit doors or emergency slides. Also, if you’re a betting person, the chances of either an emergency door being opened or an emergency slide being deployed midflight are between none and less than none.
This happened around 4:30 a.m. as a United Airlines plane was approaching the airport’s gate. So yes the plane had landed and yes this happened at 4:30 AM.
Police reported that Randy Frank Davila, 57 pulled the emergency exit door after he leaped over several people and walked out onto the wing of the United flight, and then slid down onto the airfield.
Randy, has been charged with one misdemeanor count of reckless conduct. And to sum all of this up… that is the end of this story., Nothing else, no follow-up no reason…. Just crickets.
4:30 AM, I’m guessing that Randy was looking to get home and get some sleep.
WTOP news sent this one our way - Alexandria man stopped at Reagan Airport with 23 weapons
Here are the details, an unnamed man was stopped and cited at Reagan National Airport with 23 weapon violations
According to the Transportation Security Administration, the man’s carry-on bag had:
* Nine disposable scalpels;
* Eight folding locking-blade knives;
* Three martial arts throwing knives;
* One dagger;
* One switchblade;
* One pair of brass knuckles.
I collect knives, ever since my first Swiss Army knife in 1971 knives have held a certain fascination with me. Plus in my case, knives are safer the handguns.
Looking at the pictures most of these knives screamed “Mall Ninja”. If you’ve never heard of mall ninja here’s the lowdown - Mall ninja is crazy-ass or stupid knives or weapons that are just ridiculous. They are typically fluorescent in color, contain marbles or claws, and are duller than your Grandma’s butter knife. Their distribution isn’t limited to just the mall you can find them in most roadside gas stations or truck stops. So unnamed Alexandria man the embarrassment of owning such trash should far outweigh any sentence imposed on you.
From Paddle Your Own Kanoo - Kanoo with a K - Ryanair Cabin Crew Downs Bottle of Wine and Whiskey While Working On a Flight
A member of Ryanair’s cabin crew was filmed allegedly downing a 187ml bottle of rosé wine and a double shot of whiskey during a flight he was working on from Poland to Stansted Airport.
The 26-year-old flight attendant failed a breathalyzer test once the plane safely landed in the UK. He was then arrested on suspicion of performing an aviation function while impaired by alcohol.
The passenger told the local press “I don’t know what he was thinking. I asked for a drink and when he came over he said to me, ‘Shush, don’t tell anyone but I will have one, too.”
Alcohol rules for aircrew can vary but in the UK and many other European countries, pilots and cabin crew are not permitted to drink alcohol within at least eight hours of working a flight. 8 hours bottle to throttle.
The flight attendant is due to appear in court on June 8. If found guilty, he could face the prospect of jail time.
Can’t we all relate to this? How many times after a meeting have you wished that your coffee mug was filled with an adult beverage? The only issue was that someone with a cellphone busted him. Similar to leaving your webcam on during a Zoom meeting.
Keeping with the alcohol theme here’s this month's next entry. If you drink anywhere but at home drinks are expensive. A $12.00 Margaretta at the local Mexican restaurant. A $15.00 Heiekin tallboy at a hockey game. And I’m guilty of purchasing a $48.00 six-pack of Sweetwater IPA at a Hilton Garden Inn at least once…. Don’t judge.
However, if you happen to fly out of Newark or LaGuardia are you familiar with the Office of Inspector General, or the Port Authority? If you aren’t familiar they are somehow connected or responsible for what the New York airports charge for airport booze, more focused on what they charge for airport beers. And they have clamped down on outrageous prices being charged for airport beer.
This started last year after one person posted on social media that they had purchased a $27.00 beer at LaGuardia Now I’m a beer guy, and the beer purchased was a seasonal beer so they do bear a higher price but unless that beer was served with a side of wings, $27.00 is a bit steep.
However, what concerns me most is that $27.00 is the dollar figure that causes a clampdown by the Office of Inspector General, and the Port Authority. So you’re saying that a $26.00 seasonal beer would’ve made it under the radar?
From Live And Let’s Fly - SHREWD MODEL USES AIR VENT TO DRY LINGERIE ON SOUTHWEST AIRLINES FLIGHT
The unnamed OnlyFans model went grassroots marketing with this stunt. She claimed that she had a bit too much to drink the night before and continued drinking at the airport. Remember what we say about Plane Drinking. Still tipsy, she spilled her drink onboard. So she took off her underwear…then used the air vent to dry it off.
She apparently held up her underwear for three minutes before putting her underwear back on…at her seat. And of course, this was filmed by an accomplice seated a few rows behind her.
So this begs to ask… did her grassroots marketing deliver? I’m not a marketing guy but with over two million views on TikTok and 14,000 on Instagram I’d have to say, “Yes it delivered.” In case you don’t look at the show notes it was a thong and not Granny Panties.
So this is where this month's episode begins to write itself
DELTA AIR LINES PILOT CRAWLS THROUGH WINDOW OF BOEING 737
Short of a fire or terroristic attack why would pilots ever need to enter a plane by crawling through the cockpit window? It seems that pilots can lock themselves out of the cockpit.
There’s a video, there’s always a video of a Delta pilot using a luggage conveyor belt to enter the window of a Boeing 737 aircraft. As the pilot struggles to enter head first, his co-pilot gives him a helping hand, eventually pushing him in through the window and then guiding his legs to get him fully inside.
The video is true comedy gold, but the comments from Live And Let’s Fly are even better. From the mention of OSHA violations to amateur avionic technicians arguing over the plane not being connected to a power source so the door lock solenoids couldn’t function.
Like I started with, who knew pilots could ever lock themselves out of the cockpit.
I’m not what you would an airplane/airport guy. My knowledge of airport codes is normally forced on the destinations that I travel to. Beyond looking that the placard in the seatback pocket I have no idea what type of plane I’m flying on.
However, I rely on “Big Airport” or “Big Airplane” to make sure that everyone is doing their assigned jobs in order to secure my safety.
Securing my safety as in avoiding this next story - Virgin Atlantic pilot forced to turn back because he was still in training
The Virgin Atlantic flight was 40 minutes into its transatlantic journey when the first officer informed the captain that he had yet to complete his last flying test. Seriously?
The passengers bound for New York were delayed almost three hours as the Airbus A330 returned to Heathrow, where it then waited on the runway while the staff found an experienced replacement.
It seems that Virgin Atlantic has since reviewed its protocols and will update them to ensure similar mistakes aren’t repeated in the future.
Ok, but I have to show ID, etc in order to pick up my rental from Hertz, shouldn’t the flight crew be required to do the same?
Let’s end with a bit of travel good news - Baby Born On Frontier Airlines Flight With Assistance From Flight Attendant
The occurred on a recent Frontier Airlines flight from Denver (DEN) to Orlando (MCO), thank you Florida.
Frontier took to social media to detail the birth - The baby couldn’t wait, so the early and unexpected labor took place on a flight from Denver International Airport to Orlando International Airport (MCO). Flight Attendant Diana Giraldo’s helped the mother to the back lavatory and assisted the mother in giving birth.
Wow, I’ve been present for the birth of two children, and as a former firefighter and first-responder when I was asked if I wanted to cut the umbilical cord my response both times was, “Isn’t there anyone her more qualified?”
How Flight Attendant Diana was able to get it together enough to deliver a baby, much less in a lavatory, I’ll never know. It’s been years since I’ve visited the lavatory of a plane, but as I recall they aren’t very spacious and have much less space than a delivery room.
My guess is that child is automatically immune to most germs and diseases due to her place of birth, and yes the parents gave her the middle name of “Sky”.
That’s it for the May Crazy Travel Roundup.
If you want detailed show notes, links and pictures head over to podpage.com/travel-stories/
Leave a message onAnchor, or shoot me an email atTravelFrick@gmail.com.
As I always say, travel safe, stay safe, and thanks for listening.
Thanks for listening.
