Recorded in the beautiful home office Chateau’ Relaxo. FL.
No trips since our last episode. This isn’t that odd when you take in the time of year. Many clients and customers tend to enter “Holiday Mode” this time of year as project deadlines get extended to compensate for team members taking some well-deserved PTO time.
Opening up with some sad news - Airline Weekly recently asked this question - “Why Did Spirit Airlines Just Cut 35 Routes?”. This a solid question, part of the reason for the cancelation is supply chain issues which are delaying deliveries of new aircraft and creating a shortage of parts needed to maintain in-service airplanes. Larger more cash-rich airlines typically cancel flights and not complete routes. Spirit being smaller and not as cash-rich can’t afford to roll the dice on picking the right individual flights to cancel so they’re 86’ing the complete route.
So the sad part is that many canceled routes involve thank you Florida.
Seven from Fort Myers and Tampa, six from Fort Lauderdale, three from Orlando, and two from Miami.
These cancelations will severely impact content for the monthly crazy travel roundup.
That ends today’s PSA
With the holiday season upon us families and friends will often gather to share a meal. Here at Chateau’ Relaxo, those gatherings come with set ground rules and the first two rules are we don’t discuss politics and we don’t discuss religion.
That being said on a recent Southwest flight from Houston Tx to Columbus, Ohio, a woman bit a fellow passenger and then attempted to open the exit door mid-flight because... Jesus told her to.
The 34-year-old, let’s call her Nibbles, Nibbles shoved a flight attendant as she lunged for the exit door and attempted to open it. After the flight attendants restrained her, Nibbles requested a window seat but was denied the privilege. Further enraged, Nibbles again tried to open the door but was tackled by another passenger who Nibbles then bit on the thigh.
According to an FBI complaint, Nibbles had informed the other passenger that "Jesus told her to open the plane door."
The pilot made an emergency landing in Arkansas where Nibbles was arrested and the bitten passenger received a hepatitis shot as well as some antibiotics.
First, for the passenger that was bitten, skip the hepatitis and antibiotic shot and go right for the rabies shot and work backward from there.
Second, religion or the definition of religion is different for everyone. Nevertheless how come we never hear of someone’s personal Jesus telling them to sit down and shut the hell up?
From Live And Let’s Fly - A man holds a razor blade to a woman's throat.
Merrill Darrell Fackrell, 41, has been charged with two crimes: assault with a dangerous weapon on or near an aircraft and carrying a weapon on a flight.
This was a JetBlue flight from New York (JFK) to Salt Lake City (SLC). Somehow, someway, Fackrell made it onboard with a concealed straight-edge razor.
Merrill Darrel was seated in a window seat next to a married couple. During the flight, he turned to the woman, seated in the middle seat, and told her to pause her movie while placing his hands over her screen.
She lowered her headphones, noticing that Merrill Darrel was holding the razor blade just inches from her neck. The woman’s husband went to the front of the aircraft to get assistance from the flight attendant …we’ll come back to this in a moment…..and the woman lunged for the aisle to escape. While doing so, Fackrell reached and tried to stop her by grabbing her shoulder.
In case you didn’t see it coming, alcohol is thought to be involved in Fackrell’s behavior.
Here’s my take,
First, how did Merrill Darrel make it through TSA with an old-school Sweeny Todd straight razor? Hopefully, TSA fired someone. Why? Because you had one job.
Second, taking the information that was provided n the story…… this lady’s husband might possibly be the Major of Wussville.
Some details are missing and I don’t mean to throw the husband under the bus unless warranted, but if he ran while his wife was under attack, I’d say he might be the bigger problem for her than the idiot with the razor blade (not that she cannot take care of herself, but is chivalry dead?).
As for Merrill Darrel, I hope he must atone for his indiscretion and is self-accountable to the fullest extent of the law. The TSA staff who let him through should also be fired.
Again, what was her husband thinking? Hey dude, you evacuate your wife first, then get a flight attendant. There’s also this cool thing called a flight attendant call button right up there by the air vent and light. You just have to press it and a flight attendant will come to you. Yelling also works.
Right around this point in the year air travelers begins to ask what food items can they take through TSA in their carry-on.
Believe it or not TSA posts a list of what’s permitted.
* Bread - permitted
* Solid cheese - permitted
* Fresh eggs - permitted
* Fresh meat, seafood, and other non-liquid food items are permitted in both carry-on and checked bags, as long as they are packed in ice.
What’s not permitted is stuffing a fresh chicken with a handgun and then trying to get it through TSA.
One guess as to where this all went down….. thank you, Florida. Not a lot of detail other than it happened at the Fort Lauderdale International airport. No mention of a name or any repercussions. TSA posted several pictures and if you’re truly Flogrown you will recognize the green-striped Publix cooler bag in several of the pictures.
As TSA summed it up with their Instagram post - “We hate to break it to you here, but stuffing a firearm in your holiday bird for travel is just a baste of time,” “
Not sure which is better, the Florida Man in all his glory or the joking way TSA handles the situation.
Let’s stick with the theme of TSA and carry-ons and just for kicks, we’ll include thank you Florida.
This came from Live And Let’s Fly.
An orange cat was discovered at New York Kennedy (JFK) by a TSA baggage screener. Not totally out of the ordinary, but wait there’s more.
First, the agent spotted some orange hair poking out of the zipper of the suitcase
Rather than pull the animal out, he ran the bag through the x-ray machine
After the cat was discovered, the bag was very carefully opened
The cat popped out unharmed and seemed calm
The passenger was tracked down, and admitted the cat was from the house he was staying at but was adamant he did not pack the cat
TSA reached out to the owner alerted her to the location of the cat and asked if she wanted to press charges
She declined, stating that her cat loves to climb into boxes, and came to pick up “Smells” at JFK
She later reported that the cat was totally unfazed by the incident
Let’s talk about luggage for a few minutes. We all know my rule of thumb is that there are two types of luggage, carry-on and lost.
Checking luggage can be a crapshoot. Beyond getting lost a checked bag can also have stuff removed from it even if you use a luggage lock. A $10.00 bill on Amazon will get you a TSA luggage master key.
Losing your luggage is a giant cup of suck even if you eventually get it back. I’ve lost luggage three times in all my years of travel. Twice I found myself at Walmart late at night trying to assemble an outfit for meetings the next day. The third time I landed at 1:00 AM and my luggage made it to the hotel around 6:00 AM. If you check luggage consider throwing an Apple Airtag inside.
Any idea what lost luggage costs the airlines? Let's do some pre-COVID math.
In 2020 American Airlines President Robert Isom told employees “every lost bag is nearly $60.”
Isom went on to add that in January alone American Airlines mishandled 74,975 bags (Airlines don’t like to use the word lost),. At $60 per bag it cost American Airlines $4.5 million that month, that’s around $54 million over the course of a year. Taking that same $60.00 airlines as a whole could be close to losing over $160 million a year to mishandled, not lost, bags.
What happens to bags that are actually lost and not reunited with their owners? Much of it ends up in Scottsboro, Alabama, with a population of 15,000. Scottsboro Alabama is home to Unclaimed Luggage.
My last visit was about 15 years ago and at the time there were more portable DVD players and digital cameras than at the local Best Buy. I saw half-used bottles of cologne, worn shoes, suits, and even underwear. All of which were for sale.
You can purchase brand-new clothing complete with the tags still attached. Looking for a second-hand Omega or Seiko watch? They have them.
You can purchase these oddities that never got reunited with their rightful owners.
David Copperfield 8x10 Autographed Poster - $15.99
FIELD & STREAM 1985 Portfolio of Game of Birds - $25.99
INTERNATIONAL SILVER CO.1927 Pine Tree 37pc Serving Set - $1,645.99
And who couldn’t use a 19th Century Dutch Brass Jelly Pan 8.5" x 4.5" - $65.99
If you find yourself in Scottsboro Alabama allow yourself an hour or maybe two for a visit.
Have you ever heard of a “Mattress Run”? No, it’s not a Tck-Tok challenge or a college hazing week ritual, it's when you book and pay for a hotel room (that you otherwise wouldn’t need) to earn rewards or qualify for elite hotel status.
All of this is according to The Points Guy and it’s a valid question. Years ago mileage runs were common with the airlines, especially when elite status was based on connections. When I lived in Atlanta I remember late in the year friends taking business trips with 3 or 4 connections when it was typically a direct flight. Mileage runs aren’t that common anymore.
Back to the question, is a mattress run valid? In my opinion, this late in the year no mattress run is a waste of both your time and your money…. And here’s why.
First credit cards, yes love them or hate them but every hotel chain offers a credit card and those hotel credit cards will often give you some level of elite status as well as several thousand points. Side note most of the cards do require you to spend several thousand dollars in the first few months after you sign up for the card.
Also most every hotel chain offers some sort of an elite status-level program this time of the year so check their website.
Also, check your airline of choice’s website for promos. Recently Southwest offered a program that I took advantage of. A few months ago I did the math and knew there was no way that I was going to have enough flights or points to have the companion pass for 2023. Enter the Southwest promo - It was a no-brainer if you took one flight during the designated time period you would get the Southwest companion pass for the first three months of 2023. Hey, it’s not for the full year, but at least it’s something.
The tip in is that typically you will need to have your head in that bed or that butt in a seat in order to get those points or miles.
One last question, are looking for a unique way to miss your flight? My suggestion is to not, I repeat not, this way.
Dateline Seattle, Washing American Airlines gate area where a passenger waiting to board screamed “heil Hitler” while holding a Nazi salute. In case you didn’t know…. That is not OK. If that wasn’t enough, he then called for a race war right before he was arrested at Sea-Tac airport.
In the words of Ricky Gervais "Being dead is like being stupid: it's only painful for others." -
There you have it. episode 180, the November crazy travel roundup. I plan to squeeze in a quick 2022 year-end travel numbers and holiday gift guide next week so please check back.
If you want detailed show notes, links and pictures head over to podpage.com/travel-stories/
Or visit Substack at travelstories.substack.com/
You can also leave me a message onAnchor, or shoot me an email atTravelFrick@gmail.com.
As I always say, travel safe, stay safe, and thanks for listening.
