Episode 211 The September Crazy Travel Round Up
Hello and welcome to episode 211 of Travel Stories from the Back Again and Gone podcast. Still being recorded in the beautiful home office of Chateau Relaxo, FL. If you are a new listener, welcome; if you are a returning listener, welcome back. Tonight, it’s The September crazy travel roundup, which makes two episodes in the last two months, we just might be back on track.
Ever since COVID, I’ve begun almost every episode with, “Still being recorded in the beautiful home office of Chateau Relaxo, FL,” and the reason was that for years, most episodes were recorded in various hotels as I’ve traveled. In the past five years, recording gear has gotten much smaller and lighter so I might just take this show back on the road.
During September, I was on the road for three of the four weeks.
Trip 1
Orlando to Columbus, Ohio. This required a connecting flight, of course, because the only direct flights out of O-Town are to Atlanta, Delta’s primary hub. Detroit, Minneapolis/St. Paul, JFK, LaGuardia, Boston, LAX, Salt Lake City, Seattle, and of course Amsterdam. Atlanta is the only destination in my territory. For a long time, listeners, yes, I switched from Southwest to Delta as my airline of choice.
As I was riding the escalator at O-Town, ready to go through TSA, I got a text letting me know that my flight into Atlanta was delayed by an hour, and I only had a forty-five-minute layover to catch my flight into Columbus, not good.
At the top of the escalator, I headed to the Delta counter and was able to get re-booked on a flight that got me into Columbus only two hours after my original flight. Even the middle seat was vacant, I owe one to the Plane Gods for that. Halfway through the flight, a flight attendant tapped me on the shoulder, identified me by name, and informed me that Delta was depositing 1,000 miles into my account for the inconvenience. Certainly not enough for a ticket, but it was stellar customer service. Here’s a travel tip: at some point, a flight will get delayed or cancelled, trust me, it will. Do not take to X or the Ticky Tok and b***h about it, find an employee either in person or on the phone, and this is the key, calmly ask them if they could help to rebook you on another flight. In all my years of travel, I have never once seen someone yelling or threatening a gate agent over a cancelled or delayed flight garner them a quick rebooking. Gate agents know schedules, and they will gladly help you out if you’re nice.
My big takeaway from this trip is that I-70 is under major road construction, which turned a 90-minute drive into a 120-minute journey.
Trip 2
It was a road trip that started in Little Rock, Arkansas, and ended up in Tulsa, Oklahoma, with a stop in Bentonville. Arkansas. All of these locations were new stops for me. Little Rock was what I expected. While it’s the state’s capital, it has a highly small-town feel. The next stop was Bentonville, Arkansas, and that night’s hotel was close to $200.00 after I applied all my discount codes. I rolled into town around 5:00 PM, and traffic was bumper-to-bumper. I knew that Bentonville is Walmart’s home base, but the traffic was similar to Atlanta or Dallas. When I checked in, I asked the desk clerk, “Is traffic always this congested?” He reapplied, “Every day.” He went on to say that Tyson Foods and JB Hunt Trucking were also headquartered here, so weekdays are chaotic with traffic and hotel prices skyrocketing due to the influx of vendors conducting business. He said that on the weekend, hotel prices returned to the normal range, then increased again on Sunday night.
The drive from Bentonville to Tulsa was on I-40 and uneventful, except that as soon as I entered Oklahoma, the first thing I saw was a casino. The one bright spot about Tulsa was that parking on the street in downtown Tulsa cost less than $1.00 per hour, and I didn’t have to dig for quarters because they had their own parking app.
Trip 3
Into Panama City for a meeting, another meeting in Pensacola, and then the last meeting was in Mobile, AL. All three locations I’ve been to, with Mobile holding a special place, ever since the CEO and I went there for Mardi Gras a few years ago. I was bright enough to book my flight into Panama City. FL and not Panama City, Panama.
However, here’s what happened flying out of the Mobile, AL airport. This was my first time flying out of Mobile, so I asked Google Maps for directions to the Mobile Airport. I put my rental car in gear, joined a conference call, and began driving down I-65 and then East on I-10. I jump off I-10 and see signs for the Mobile International Airport. Before long, I’m following detour signs and driving down two-lane roads covered in dirt, and I begin to get concerned as I don’t see any planes taking off or landing or a control tower. Suddenly, Google Maps tells me to turn left, and I see the tail of an airplane, and a sigh of relief comes over me, until I hit the “Dead End” sign. I will save you the cussing, but Mobile has not one, but two airports. The Mobile Regional Airports and the Mobile International Airport, which is slated to open in the fall of 2026, who knew, apparently not me.
I asked Google Maps, again, for directions to the correct airport, and luckily, I’m only 30 minutes away. I arrive at the gate roughly 10 minutes before we board, which, for me, is cutting it a bit too close. Here’s what makes me the mayor of Stupid Town. My hotel the night before was located on, get this, “Airport Boulevard”, yes, I am the mayor.
A few travel observations I’ve made over the past few months of traveling.
* A different hotel each night is still rough, but it does allow me to accomplish more with less travel expense to my company.
* Every flight is still full, and on every flight, passengers are asked to gate-check their luggage because overhead space is unavailable.
* This next thing is a significant change for me. If you’re a long-time listener, you’ve probably heard me say, “There are two types of luggage: carry-on and lost.” I am now checking my luggage even with only a 60-minute layover. Airlines have stepped up their baggage-tracking game, and with the help of an AirTag, most of my concerns about lost luggage are gone.
* Airports have significantly enhanced their amenities over the last decade or so. It used to be that every airport charged for internet access, usually through services like Boingo. Now, almost every airport offers quote-unquote free internet after you watch an ad or complete a survey. In the past, airports such as Nashville and Memphis had someone playing music in the atrium, an airport bar, or near the gate. When I flew out of Tulsa, there were several members of the Tulsa Symphony serenading us with music as we waited to board. I recently noticed that the Atlanta airport has a Chiropractic center and a Georgia lottery station on Concourse B.
* Most major chain restaurants will allow you to order airport food through their app. Think about it: you’ve landed and, while taxiing to your gate, you order your gooey frappe, whatever it is, get off the plane, and skip the line.
* One thing that hasn’t changed is boarding by zone. Passengers in Zone 6 will crowd the gate as general boarding begins. After twenty-five years of flying, I can assure you that Delta is not going to start boarding with Zone 6 all of a sudden. Delta used to begin boarding by status after the First Class passengers were boarded. It went Platinum, then Gold, and then Silver. On this flight, there were so many Platinum members that we all had to board simultaneously.
We all remember what we were doing at specific times in our lives -
I was working at a feed and grain store the day Ronald Reagan was shot. I was driving north on I-95 and saw the cloud from the Challenger explosion.
On 911, I was leaving my office, headed to Knoxville, TN. At 9:03 AM, I cut through our break room at the moment the second plane hit the second tower. In 2001, we communicated through email and texting. Probably because you had to press the “1” key three times to use the letter “C,” and not every cell phone was capable of receiving emails.
We had an office directly across from the Pentagon, which was struck by American Airlines Flight 77 at 9:37. By 11:00 AM, headquarters sent an email stating that no one was to travel. If you are on the road, consider extending your hotel stay. If you are headed to the airport, do not return your rental car; instead, find a hotel or drive back home. The final directive was for each of us to call our team members to let them know this, in case they didn’t have access to their laptops and a phone line.
On the 1st anniversary of 911, which I don’t consider an anniversary, I was in Valdosta, GA. I was stirred from my slumber by a parking lot filled with emergency equipment, including sirens and lights…. To this day, I have no idea what happened, but it’s not the best way to start your day, especially on the anniversary of something as tragic as 911.
The attacks killed 2,976 people, including citizens from across the globe, and injured thousands, many of whom are suffering from the effects 24 years later.
Let’s lighten the mood a bit. Even after traveling for all these years, I still have several habits when I check into a hotel room and when I check out.
When I first enter, I check the shower, the closet, and under the bed to verify that I’m not sharing the room with any randos. When I check out of my room, I perform a thorough sweep of my belongings to ensure I don’t leave any phone or laptop chargers behind.
Over the years, the only thing these habits have produced is a phone charger left plugged into the wall, a solid indicator that housekeeping didn’t pay much attention to preparing the room for the next guest, which was me.
Here are the Cliff Notes of this next nightmare:
A Ukrainian model checks into her Tokyo hotel, sniffs a suspiciously sweet-and-sour scent, and discovers—no, not bad housekeeping, but a real, sweaty man hiding under her bed with nothing but a USB cable for company. The intruder bolts faster than when a guest realizes the minibar isn’t free; the police behave as if they just walked off a Japanese game show (no security cameras, barely any questions), and APA Hotel’s bed storage innovations score an unexpected “surprise guest.” Who says Japanese hotels don’t offer extra amenities?
What Actually Happened
* The woman checks in, changes clothes, and gets comfy… but notices an “animal covered in sugar” aroma instead of the usual fresh press of the tatami.
* Looks under the bed (as one does in Tokyo), finds not lost slippers but a blinking, bowl-cut stranger.
* Screaming ensues; man sprints for the exit, leaving behind his power bank and any chance for a good Yelp review.
* Police show up but demonstrate more “serenity” than “detective work,” taking minimal info and maximum indifference.
The Wisdom of Travel
* Always check under the bed in Tokyo—your suitcase might not be the only thing stored there.
* Japan: Low on crime rates, high on the probability that “privacy” means “no security cameras when you absolutely need them”.
* Next time you smell “dead animal covered in sugar”—know, it’s not a new flavor at the ramen shop! And “dead animal covered in sugar” is the worst cocktail name ever.
Recently, One Mile At A Time posted - 14 Of My Biggest Hotel Pet Peeves, From Decorative Pillows To Destination Fees
The list was all over the road, but a few of these did resonate with me.
* Bathrooms without privacy—I’m not sure where the author is staying, but I have never seen a hotel bathroom without privacy.
* Decorative pillows & other bedding—I’ve never really noticed them.
* Showers with weak water pressure - Years ago, I carried plumber’s pliers to remove the water restrictor valve from the showerhead. I haven’t used them in years.
* Complicated showers, poorly designed—if a shower challenges you, figure it out or use YouTube.
* Gyms that aren’t 24/7 - I’ve never had a desire to hop on an elliptical at 2:00 AM.
* A poor coffee setup — not a coffee person myself; I use caffeinated soda to jump-start my mornings, but I can understand the frustration.
* Destination, resort, and urban fees - It comes with the territory. The room rate can be an extra $30.00 per day, or you can pay a $30.00 per day resort fee. Either way, the house always wins.
* Scripted, artificial customer service - I’ve never noticed it, probably because I always engage the desk staff in a friendly two-way conversation.
* Hotels trying to avoid providing elite perks - I’ve never felt shorted on any elite perks, and honestly, I’d rather have the perks when I’m traveling with the CEO than when I’m traveling alone.
* In-room TVs automatically turning on—OK, but I have no idea why this would be a pet peeve.
* Room amenities that aren’t properly checked - This is the first pet peeve that I would agree with. I need my soap, a functioning iron, and a couple of bottles of water.
* Beds with square pillows - “Square pillows at a hotel? Fantastic—because when I travel, I definitely dream of waking up with my neck shaped like a question mark and my soul questioning its life choices.” Seriously, whoever put this list together must be a travel snob.
* Lack of power outlets by the bed - I agree, and that’s why I carry a power strip. I did have a hotel last month that the bedside clock offered wireless charging.
* Rooms without desks or desk-like setups - Completely agree.
I relate to three of the fourteen; I am the broken traveler.
This came from a new site - Twisted Sifter.
A passenger was filmed opening and eating a can of tuna on an airplane, sparking considerable online outrage and humor due to the strong smell and lack of consideration for fellow travelers. Many commenters described it as a “crime against humanity”. They joked about placing the passenger on a no-fly list, noting that eating pungent foods in close quarters is socially inconsiderate. The story elicited a mix of commiseration and amusement, with the article emphasizing that while bringing your own food on a flight is fine, travelers should be mindful of how their choices affect others in confined spaces.
I’ve never brought food onto a plane, and strawberry Twizzlers don’t count. If you’re flying out of Memphis, TN, there’s a good chance that someone will board with a Styrofoam container with ribs in it. In Boston, it’s the lobster roll. Airports have upped their food game, from major chains to local favorites. Thank you, ATL, for the Varsity. All this being said, I recall about ten years ago, on a Southwest flight, they announced that they wouldn’t be serving peanuts as a snack because a passenger was highly allergic to them.
Ten or eleven years ago, I witnessed a similar scenario unfold across the aisle from me. I am not a can of canned tuna fish. When the odor fills the kitchen, I’m heading towards my home office. When it happened to me, there was no TikTok, and the travel blog sites were in their infancy, so there was nowhere to post your gripe.
So next time snack cravings strike at 30,000 feet, leave the tuna in your checked bag—because on an airplane, the only thing that should be canned is the attitude, not the fish.
Paddle Your Own Canoe recently posted this about British Airways.
A British Airways lawsuit claims a ground worker at Chicago O’Hare, allegedly under the influence of marijuana, drove mobile airstairs into a Boeing 747-400, causing $228,028 in damage and significant disruptions way back in September 2019. The worker did not immediately report the incident, forcing the airline to cancel a London-bound flight, pay for passenger accommodations, and incur repair and legal costs while seeking compensation from Ground Services International (GSI), whose insurer has refused to pay.
First, British Airways sadly retired the 747s in 2019. Second, you know what I say about marijuana enthusiasts. Marijuana enthusiasts do nothing but think about when the next time they get to smoke marijuana, how they are going to smoke marijuana, and where they will be smoking marijuana.
“Apparently, British Airways can add ‘grounded by the munchies’ to their list of flight delays—who knew the scariest thing on the runway for a 747 wasn’t a bird strike, but a set of stoned airstairs doing a drive-by wing job?”
Well, there you have it, Episode 211, the September crazy travel round-up.
For long-time listeners, thank you for your comments and emails. For new listeners, I hope you return.
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As I always say, travel safe, stay safe, and thanks for listening.
