Sometimes, I think you get the worst of me, but today it was clear that I have simply given you all of me. I have allowed myself to be my best and my worst in your presence and more than anything I have been more than what I knew. The better version of mothering and care and you’re the loving proof of my all. You tell me today how you wish you knew more of me. To have seen me at 7 or 13 and a glimpse of me at 21, filled belly with all 10 pounds, of you.
How it could have been to be my friend on all the playgrounds of all the cities I was dropped into and if a hug from you would have changed the trajectory of my life and if having a friend like you would have steered my heart to choose better than your Father.
You reach for me and my hands release the coffee cup I’m using as a security blanket and in that moment I feel love billow from your hands all the force of life lives in one single brush of your skin, milky and young and of my own DNA and in that moment I can almost feel a lifetime that we once lived out - not as mother and daughter but as soulmates on a playground best friends holding each other in a love that can only be known through many life times lived side by side.
