Hello and welcome to Beauty - the no-frills, no-nonsense podcast about all things beauty. True beauty. God's beauty. I am so glad you're here today as we tackle the topic of grief.
Have you ever dealt with a tough loss? That might be a loaded question. The truth is, we all deal with loss. The word “tough” is what makes our loss different – and that word has several levels. My son experienced a tough loss on the basketball court a couple of weeks ago. His team worked hard to prepare in the weeks leading up to the big game. They were ready to give it all they had – and they did. They left it all on the court, for sure. But at the end of the game, the scoreboard was not in their favor – and it was a big upset for them. Gav struggled through it for a couple of days. To be fair, there was an element of unfairness to the loss, but even still, to me, it was an 8th grade basketball game. Like I have told all my boys a hundred times – it is just a game. Not one person is going to lose a scholarship or money on the game. I have always tried to encourage my kids to do what they love to do and have fun doing it. There are always lessons to learn, whether you win or lose, so learn the lessons and be better in the next game. I suppose that is easy for a mom to say, and I will admit that losing to the rival team is rough when you are a teenager. I haven’t completely forgotten those days.
There is loss beyond school sports – and that is what I want to focus on today. There are many levels of loss, from disappointing games to losing a job to losing a friend to losing a loved one. And when I say “lose” it can mean different things. You could get fired from a job or you can quit. Maybe you are forced to quit. Maybe there is an internal conflict and you quit on principle. You can lose a friend because of conflict or maybe you have no idea at all why a friend stopped talking to you. You can lose a parent for the same reasons. You can also literally lose anyone to disease and accidents. Loss is complicated – and so is the grief that accompanies the loss.
I have been dealing with grief myself and I am certainly no expert. In fact, I often feel like grief overcomes me – and at the strangest moments. Sometimes I hear a song and burst into tears. Sometimes I see a picture that triggers a memory. Sometimes I find a card from my parents and all I can do is close my eyes and wish for one more conversation. I have particularly struggled in the past year with the death of my dad. He died unexpectedly and, because of the c-word, my siblings and I were forced to say goodbye over video chat and watch him die at a distance. I’m not saying my grief would have been any less overwhelming had I been at the hospital to hold his hand and whisper in his ear the way he had done with me so many times as a child, but I do think it would have impacted my ability to deal with the grief.
But I am also learning that grief can be beautiful.
The beatitudes always intrigued me and in my season of grief, I was really drawn to them - especially verse 4. I wanted to feel happy; blessed - but the sadness was too overwhelming. As I came back to these verses over and over - literally for a year, I finally understood.
I'm a slow learner.
Jesus had all the authority to make these promises and he has all intentions on bringing it about in our life. When he says, "happy/blessed are they..." we are called to that blessing. We have this skewed vision of what happiness is. But Jesus? He knows full well and he is prepared to bring it to fruition in our life.
But that isn't all.
His blessings aren't only for those with abundant gifts and resources. His blessings are for those of us who are poor and hungry and lonely. His blessings extend to us at our lowest points.
This past year, I clung to the promise of comfort in my mourning. It didn't come immediately. In fact, there is still much discomfort - but when I think of comfort in the eternal sense, I can look forward to replacing sadness with joy - forever. And that, my friends, is beautiful.
I don't know how these blessings speak to you today, but my prayer is that you will treasure the promises of God and find your reward. If I can pray about anything specific for you, please reach out. I would love to stand in the gap for you the way others stood in that space for me last year.
Okay - in honor of my dad, I am sharing our Cherry Almond product line today. Dad loved both - in food form over lotions, so I thought it would be appropriately healing to share this month’s specials. Specifically, we have 20% off the Cherry Almond Body Spritz, Body Polish, Body Wash, and the Hand and Body Lotion. To honor my dad, I am giving my full commission on these products to The American Stroke Association so they can continue their work in advocating prevention and care. So - gobble up some great deals and help save the life of someone's parent, sibling, or friend. You can order here.
D 🙂
