Welcome back to Infinite Threads! I’m Bob, and I’m so grateful you’re here.
Over the past few episodes, we’ve explored empathy—what it is, why it matters, and how to practice it, even in difficult conversations. But there’s one piece we haven’t fully explored yet.
See, it’s hard to give kindness to others when we don’t offer it to ourselves. Self-compassion is the foundation of empathy. And yet, for so many of us, it’s the hardest thing to practice.
So today, let’s talk about what self-compassion really means, why we struggle with it, and how we can start treating ourselves with the same care we offer to others.
When we make mistakes, do we talk to ourselves with kindness or with criticism?
We all struggle. We all fail. Self-compassion means remembering that we’re not alone.
Mindfulness instead of over-identification.
This means seeing our emotions without letting them define us. Instead of thinking, “I am a failure,” we say, “I made a mistake, and I can grow from it.”
So, self-compassion isn’t about ignoring our flaws or making excuses. It’s about giving ourselves the same grace we’d give a friend.
If we know self-compassion is important, why do so many of us struggle with it?
A lot of it comes from how we were raised. Many of us grew up believing that being hard on ourselves was the only way to improve. Maybe we were told that self-criticism was necessary to be responsible, to work hard, to be good.
But research shows the opposite. People who practice self-compassion are more motivated, not less. They bounce back from failures faster. They take healthier risks. Because when we know that our worth isn’t tied to success or perfection, we stop being afraid of failing.
So how do we actually do this? If being kind to ourselves doesn’t come naturally, how can we start?
Here are a few simple ways:
Talk to yourself like you’d talk to a friend.
If a friend made a mistake, would you call them a failure? Probably not. So why do we do it to ourselves? Next time you catch yourself being self-critical, try shifting your inner voice to one of kindness.
Let yourself be human.
Mistakes, struggles, and bad days don’t make you unworthy. They make you human. Instead of judging yourself for what you’re feeling, try saying, “This is hard right now, and that’s okay.”
Give yourself permission to rest.
The world tells us that our value comes from being productive. But we are not machines. Self-compassion means honoring our need for rest—without guilt.
Practice gratitude for yourself.
Every night, try naming one thing you did well that day, even if it’s small. Maybe you showed up for someone. Maybe you were patient. Maybe you just got through the day. That’s worth celebrating.
Remember that growth takes time.
Self-compassion isn’t about being perfect at being kind to yourself—it’s about practicing, little by little.
Now, you might be wondering—what does this have to do with empathy?
Everything.
When we’re harsh with ourselves, we tend to be harsher with others. But when we learn to meet ourselves with grace, we become more patient, more understanding, more willing to see the struggles in others without judgment.
Think about it—if you’re constantly telling yourself that you’re not good enough, it’s easy to be frustrated when others fall short. But if you know that making mistakes doesn’t make you unworthy, then it’s easier to extend that same grace to others.
Self-compassion isn’t selfish. It’s what allows us to love better.
So here’s something to reflect on: How do you talk to yourself? If your inner voice is more critical than kind, what would happen if you changed that?
I challenge you to try it. Just for today, when self-judgment creeps in, pause. Take a breath. And choose self-compassion instead.
Because the way we love ourselves sets the foundation for how we love the world.
That’s it for today, but I’ll be back soon with more reflections on love, kindness, and the infinite threads that connect us all.
Take care of yourself, take care of each other, and I’ll see you next time.
