Feelings You Can Trust — Episode 19: How Survival Mode Rewires Your Mind (and Fuels Rumination)
In this episode, we’re circling back to Step 1 of the Feelings You Can Trust Framework: Getting Out of Survival Mode. Today’s focus?Rumination.Why we do it, where it comes from, and how understanding your own thought patterns can help you step into a safer, more empowered internal world.
Together, we explore generational influences, trauma, social conditioning, the science behind rumination, and practical ways to interrupt repetitive thoughts—so you can finally breathe, observe, and move toward a life you feel safe in.
This episode is especially for the woman who’s ready to build emotional clarity, soften survival instincts, and create a mindset that supports her healing… not her fear.
⏱️ Episode Timestamps
00:00 – Welcome back + holiday break update01:13 – Grad school burnout + cultural immersion paper03:48 – Winter semester updates & upcoming practicum05:24 – What I’m reading (and not reading)06:17 – Book club update: Black Girls Love Smut07:51 – Colleen Hoover thoughts + movie adaptations09:35 – The Bone King obsession10:26 – Listener Letters (how to submit yours)12:04 – Framework refresher: The 5 Steps12:51 – Today’s topic: Getting out of survival mode13:47 – Understanding thought patterns as a “character trait”14:59 – How parents shape our thinking17:02 – Generational trauma & big T trauma explained22:07 – Seeking awareness without blame23:22 – Trauma’s impact on how we think24:00 – What rumination is + how it forms25:05 – NIH research on rumination26:21 – Narrow focus vs. broadened awareness27:53 – The difference between processing and getting stuck28:48 – Fear, immobility, and survival mode29:50 – Why awareness is the first step out of survival31:04 – Mindfulness + vagus nerve breathing33:39 – Anxiety, presence, and self-observation34:09 – The emotional relationship to your thoughts35:29 – How to alchemize rumination into empowerment36:57 – Changing perspective vs. changing circumstances37:26 – Worrying is not always a choice38:10 – Final encouragement + closing thoughts
⚠️ Disclaimer:
I am not a licensed therapist. Everything shared on this podcast is based on personal experience, research, and my own perspectives. Nothing in this episode should be considered medical, clinical, or legal advice. Please seek support from a licensed mental health professional for guidance specific to your situation.
Resources:
Black Girls Love Smut:
https://bookclubs.com/join-a-book-club/club/black-girls-love-smut
Rumination Tools:
Studies Referenced:
Michl, L. C., McLaughlin, K. A., Shepherd, K., & Nolen-Hoeksema, S. (2013).Rumination as a mechanism linking stressful life events to symptoms of depression and anxiety: Longitudinal evidence in early adolescents and adults. Journal of Abnormal Psychology, 122(2), 339–352. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0031994
Querstret, D., & Cropley, M. (2013). Assessing treatments used to reduce rumination and/or worry: A systematic review. Clinical Psychology Review, 33(8), 996–1009. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cpr.2013.08.004
