Hey this is Noah Hansen saying howdy to all the girls out there in Radioland. Or Newsletterland if you’re reading this instead. Hey listening audience, did you know this is also written down on Substack? You don’t just have to read the auto-generated “show notes” on Spotify.
Anyway, it’s been a long week. Eddie Kingston tried to “do it the right way” and lost to Samoa Joe, but not before Joe could make a salute to John Cena as Cena nears the end of his retirement run. Cena acknowledged him on Instagram.
I had to miss banjo class because of the snow, so that’s been a thing (if you’re reading this I’m soooooo sorry Julie) that ruined my week. Thankfully I’m still riding the high of the Minnesota Vikings shutting out the Washington Commanders a week after being shut out for the first time in two decades by the Seattle Seahawks.
In today’s edition of UTP, we’re highlighting the heroic comeback and meteoric rise of the Bang Bang Gang before they take on FTR for the AEW World Tag Team Championship in Cardiff, Wales on Saturday. We’re also looking at the mechanical keyboard I got at the Goodwill on Black Friday—a first-ever thrift find even if I am finding the keyboard impossible to type on. …And another thing, I’m really annoyed that Warner Brothers has two potential buyers.
Every link is a gift link if I call it that. Send this “gift link” to your friends because even if they don’t care what I’m writing about, maybe they’ll think I’m funny. You will tell them I’m funny, right?
RINGSIDE WITH UTP
THE JUICE IS WORTH THE SQUEEZE: THE BANG BANG GANG IS STRONGER THAN EVER (EVEN IF 2/5THS OF THEM ARE OUT INJURED)
Throughout the history of independent wrestling (that is to say, not WWE), promotions have struggled to break through the Fed noise and make a cultural impact outside of the niche world of dorks fighting online about simulated combat interrupted by poorly written, acted, and directed soap opera scenes.
World Championship Wrestling (WCW), the only true pre-AEW competitor to what was then called the WWF, did do so in the 1990s with perhaps the most commercially successful non-WWF wrestling brand, the New World Order (nWo), a villainous wrestling stable whose t-shirts you have almost certainly seen over the many years. Though, it should be said that a) the entire gimmick was former WWF Superstars teaming up to take over the competitor during the peak of the so-called Monday Night Wars, and b) basically every star, including the kayfabe leader of WCW, Eric Bsichoff, would end up as part of nWo. Are they really rebels if the entire establishment belongs to them?
Across the Pacific, New Japan Pro Wrestling (NJPW or just New Japan), had success with a legally-distinguishable but extremely similar gimmick, Bullet Club, a stable primarily made up of foreign-born wrestlers in Japan, which debuted in 2013. I am not a wrestling historian by any means, but the Bullet Club logo and accompanying brand is still wildly popular with wrestling fans stateside. If you go to any wrestling show, there’s a damn good chance you’ll see a handful of people wearing Bullet Club shirts. Twin Cities hip-hop-person-turned-pro-wrestler Nur-D sells shirts with a modified version of the Bullet Club logo.
Bullet Club’s popularity led to multiple sub-factions/spin-offs, perhaps most notably, The Elite, the wrestling stable that is the namesake of All Elite Wrestling. The Elite were the primary driving force behind the early success of AEW; the 2018 All In pay-per-view (organized by The Elite) was the watershed moment that proved there was a market for large WWE competitor in the US, and this was primarily boosted by the wildly popular YouTube vlog series Being the Elite (BTE), which follows the lives of the members behind the scenes.
Today, only three groups of the original Bullet Club exist: the Bullet Club War Dogs, The Elite (which hasn’t been considered a Bullet Club faction since 2018), and Bullet Club Gold, also known as the Bang Bang Gang.
The War Dogs almost exclusively exist in New Japan, and I’d recommend watching the 2025 match-of-the-year contender from Wrestle Dynasty back in January where Kenny Omega fought War Dogs leader Gabe Kidd in a nearly hour-long bout that was largely driven by Kidd’s hatred for the “traitor” Kenny Omega. The fight is easily in my top three of the year and famously left NJPW legend Hiroshi Tanahashi in tears.
So that just leaves Bullet Club Gold, also known as the Bang Bang Gang. When I started watching in 2023, they were still billed as Bullet Club Gold, and even wore Bullet Club-branded apparel, albeit modified. The Bang Bang Gang debuted a few months before then, when “The Switchblade” Jay White (who led Bullet Club in Japan after The Elite left) made his debut in AEW saving fellow Bullet Club alum “Rock Hard” Juice Robinson (not to be confused by “Freshley Squeezed” Orange Cassidy).
Within a few months, they were joined by Austin and Colten Gunn, the twin sons of wrestling legend Billy Gunn. Together, they put the Bullet Club name to the side and called themselves “The Bang Bang Gang.”
Jay White, Juice Robinson, and the Gunns were immediately fan favorites. The Gunns had been stuck in the shadow of their dad for a pretty mid trio storyline, but they fit right in alongside Jay and Juice. Their signature intro has them standing in a circle facing out, with the lights out, with one lone spotlight directly above. As the fog machine blows into the beam, we can only make out a bit of each member’s face. Austin Gunn will say in a sorta bad guy (?) voice “By the order of the Bang Bang Gang.” Juice Robinson has long been the Charlie Kelly-esque “wild card” and would do what I could only describe as a crazy Street Fighter character’s idle animation, sporting a long, scraggly beard, and wild untamed curly hair.
Picking up off our discussion of The Acclaimed at the end of last week’s UTP, there was a very amusing time after the Bang Bang Gang turned face in 2024 where the Acclaimed and the Bang Bang Gang joined forces in a supergroup they called the Bang Bang Scissor Gang. Billy Gunn was reunited with his sons and everyone got to scissor all the time. It didn’t last, of course, but it was an incredible few months before Jay White and Juice Robinson were both injured.
In fact, in the two short years I’ve been a viewer, either Juice or Jay have been injured pretty much the entire time. There was a roughly year-ish long gimmick where they used a cardboard cut-out of Jay White called “Card-blade,” and would do the same for Juice as well in 2025 when both Jay and Juice were injured. This summer, the Bang Bang Gang announced a new member, Ace Austin (who was in the original Bullet Club), would debut in AEW as part of the stable.
On July 12 at All In: Texas, Juice Robinson made his triumphant return from injury as part of the Casino Gauntlet match, AEW’s response to the Royal Rumble. He had a new look: no more trunks, he had a black and gold one-piece. He’s clean shaven and not acting like a monkey man. He doesn’t do well, but does get a nice pop when he comes out.
A few days later, AEW releases a dramatic sit-down interview between backstage presenter Renee Paquette and Juice where he candidly says he is tired of being a punchline, and that he wants to do something different with his character. We don’t get much development until an episode of Collision before Full Gear, where the Bang Bang Gang are given the opportunity to win $200,000 in a match on pay-per-view. Uncharacteristically, Juice is the voice of reason between himself, Austin Gunn, and Ace Austin (confusing, I know), and proclaims the funniest line he’s said in a promo in recent memory: that they plan to save the money they win and invest wisely using deferred savings accounts, including a 401(k). Extremely funny stuff.
They did win, and since then, Accountant Juice is mostly gone, but this past Saturday (December 6) on Collision, something magical happened. Austin Gunn and Juice Robinson came out to harass current Tag Team champs FTR while they were grandstanding a promo shitting on some other tag team. They come out, and it’s f*****g insane.
Instead of the typically silly or humorous take on a wrestling promo, Austin and Juice deliver on building some massive hype for this Saturday’s Winter is Coming: AEW Collision, which will be from Cardiff, Wales. Cash Wheeler says Austin Gunn will never be more than Billy’s son, and Juice will never be more than “Mr. Toni Storm” (Juice Robinson and Toni Storm are married).
The Bang Bang Gang takes the mic and cranks things up a notch. Austin says he’s the son of a wrestling legend and that Juice is the son of a carpenter, while Cash Wheeler is the “son of his first cousin” and Dax is “just a son of a b***h.”
Juice takes the mic and delivers more verbal abuse about how they’re going to be the next AEW World Tag Team champions. Juice delivers the classic Bang Bang Gang catchphrase.
“And if you don’t like that, then we’ve got two words for you:” Juice pauses. We hear a loud “Guns Up!” from the crowd before Juice moves in closer to Dax Harwood, grits his teeth, and says “And New,” which is the phrase used in wrestling (particularly AEW marketing) to introduce the new champions. The crowd Ooos and Aaahs because this was…shockingly good and has me pumped for the future of the Bang Bang Gang.
Juice Robinson and Austin Gunn of the Bang Bang Gang will be taking on Dax Harwood and Cash Wheeler, FTR this Saturday on AEW Collision on TNT at 3:30 Central.
UTP THRIFTS
AFTER A DISAPPOINTING BLACK FRIDAY CLOSURE, THE SAVAGE GOODWILL RISES LIKE A PHOENIX FROM THE ASHES
On Thanksgiving, Emily and I were doing our once weekly or so tradition of “TikTok Time,” where we watch the TikToks Emily had sent me over the week (I used to be a TikTok-er but stopped using it earlier this year). She had shared a video about a thrift store in Shakopee that was located in an old big box store shell.
The finds in the video were incredible, and looked to be closer to how I remember Savers being in the golden age of thrifting (pre-Macklemore), so I was sold. We made plans to go on Black Friday after we got breakfast with some friends.
We made the trip down only to find it was closed for the holiday, which was fitting, considering it was a partially government-operated thrift store. So it goes.
All hope felt lost. But then I remembered something: I grew up around here, and there’s a Goodwill about a 3-minute drive from my very first childhood home, and while I have had mixed experience there, it was better than going home with my tail between my legs.
So we went. I pulled into the Savage, MN Goodwill, and I as I got out of the car, I muttered “I can’t wait to be disappointed.” Emily didn’t think that was very funny.
We went inside and I was immediately disarmed by the presence of a pair of tables up front with what I like to call “corporate merchandise,” the mass-produced, brand-less tat that is Amazon alphabet-soup-drop-ship garbage-level quality. Except in this case, it appeared to be surplus TJ Maxx or Marshall’s “gift” section products.
Never mind that, I’ve got to get to the glorious left wall, which houses everything from kitchen goods, to tech items, and usually some part of the ever-changing “media” section.
Congestion was out of control. A family of 3 chose to look at every damn mug and glass and took up the whole damn aisle with their cart. There wasn’t much that was catching my eye until we got to the electronics.
Then I saw it.
After years of clicking the keys on random keyboards and typewriters at Goodwill, I spotted a goofy-looking keyboard with typerwriter-like keycaps. I picked it up and saw on the back that it was a 60%-sized mechanical keyboard.
Finally! For years, a mechanical keyboard has been on my list of Goodwill white whales, alongside steeply discounted high-quality furniture, designer clothes, or shockingly nice electronics. I’ve found Patagonia jackets, brand-new pair of suede Pumas, a Samsung Bluetooth soundbar with wireless subwoofer, but never a mechanical keyboard, or at least at an affordable price.
If you don’t know, mechanical keyboards are keyboards for your computer where under each key is a physical switch that gets clicked to register your press, as opposed to “rubber domes” which provide a mushy level of resistance where your pressing connects a circuit rather quickly. People who use them prefer mechanical keyboards for their satisfying clicking, customization, and features like RGB lighting, macros to automate tasks, and as a status symbol to their plebian peers.
Mechanical keyboards used to be the norm way back when; the IBM Model M from the 1980s is such a classic, that a company bought the patent and the molds and produces these old-ass keyboards to this day (I have one). However, in the late 90s, the manufacturing tech for rubber dome keyboards became remarkably cheap and relegated mechanical keyboards to the way of the dodo, except for tech enthusiasts, primarily in the US and east Asia.
I bought my first in 2015, a little Ducky Mini with Cherry MX Blue switches. I also have a Unicomp Model M, a random 60% with Gateron Brown switches, and a Topre-clone I use at work. Don’t worry if this is all gibberish to you, it barely means anything to me anymore.
All of my keyboards pre-dated today’s much larger and far-less sketchy DIY market, where enthusiasts can easily buy all of the parts online far cheaper and faster than “back in my days.” Because of this, keyboards have also gotten much cheaper.
Within this context I find the black keyboard with a $10.99 price tag. A bit steep for a keyboard I don’t need, but the fact the model said “mechanical keyboard” was enough for me to not think twice.
When I got back to my car, I googled the model and was disappointed to learn that I had…not really gotten a good deal. Brand-new, this keyboard cost about $20.
This keyboard was just another alphabet-soup-brand-less drop-shipped AliExpress garbage (from brand I’ve never heard of called “E-YOOSO”), but still technically a working mechanical keyboard with generic “brown” switches. They have Cherry MX stems, meaning I can add new keycaps if I don’t like these fake-ass typewriter ones, but there’s a big problem: the right shift key is too small, meaning standard keycap sets won’t work and I also am constantly hitting the up arrow key instead of shift. The design is very human.
It is RGB, which is shocking to me. My Ducky Mini only has the red and blue LEDs, which is great for bisexual lighting but less helpful if you want to go full gamer mode. I’m shocked it works at all, but the cable has a short in it or something; not to worry, it’s just a generic Micro USB port with a nice storage space so any cable will look natural. Believe it or not, when I got my Ducky, the removable cable was a feature you got as part of the justification for the $130 I paid for it or whatever.
While I wrote most of this newsletter on a MacBook, I did as much writing and editing with the E-YOOSO as I could, only after I realized that is an actually useful angle to review a keyboard like this. It really does f*****g suck. The brown switches feel the same as my other knock-off brown-switched 60% keyboard I have.
Buuuuut, I also have no sentimental attachment to this keyboard and will have no problem taking it apart and goofing around with it, because arguably the coolest part about this board is that the case is some metal, but there’s still a perfectly good PCB that can be repurposed for some DIY monstrosity. And supposedly (I haven’t taken it apart yet but reddit sources claim it’s a marketing lie) with the switches being hot-swappabl, Stay tuned.
This wasn’t even the only solid find at this Goodwill. I got a working Blu-Ray player for a whopping $5. I almost bought a set of two IKEA LACK shelving units for like $1/piece, but they were just a little nicked on the side that stuck out, so I didn’t bother.
The media section was enormous and featured one of the rarest sights for Twin Cities-area Goodwill locations in 2025: a VHS tape section. I should know; I’ve looked for tapes at Goodwill every time I’ve gone since my dad gave me our old family kitchen CRT tv and a working VCR and have amassed a good collection so far. But that’s a story for another day.
This was my best Goodwill run in a while, and even though I didn’t get a good deal on it, and I hate using it, I still managed to find a working mechanical keyboard at Goodwill: a life-long goal.
…AND ANOTHER THING
NETFLIX CAN TA-DUM RIGHT OFF, AND TAKE PARAMOUNT WITH THEM
This past week has been a firestorm of corporate conglomerations (and the ghouls that run them) making some the most brazen examples of open corruption in recent memory, as both Netflix and Paramount are chomping at the bits to pick apart the Warner Brothers media empire and further consolidate the already monopolistic media industry.
There’s a lot to be annoyed about, but if you know me, the one thing that I am most annoyed about is how this will affect pro wrestling. You can also probably imagine the same thing for whatever Warner Brothers/DC/HBO/TBS/TNT property you like, if for some reason you’ve had it to here with wrestling content in this publication.
Currently, there are three companies with regular wrestling programming on cable television:
* The WWE has been airing NXT on the CW for a while now, but RAW is now exclusively on Netflix. SmackDown is presently on the USA network and Peacock but that’s almost certainly changing soon.
* TNA will leave AXStv and be on AMC in the new year.
* And my beloved AEW airs Collision on Saturdays on TNT and Dynamite on Wednesdays on TBS.
This is not a serious or informed view of the modern media landscape; I am just griping. But the rumor was that WB-Discovery owns a share of AEW as part of their massive TV deal they inked earlier this year.
If Netflix somehow got the programming power to decide if AEW airs or not, what would that mean for AEW? Could be bad!
Could be worse with Paramount in charge. The talk is that Jared Kushner and the Saudis are trying to organize that, and we’ve already detailed much of the extremely fucked up and growing business relationship that TKO (parent company of UFC and WWE) has with the Saudis and the American government.
The whole thing stinks to high heaven. Don’t take wrestling from me. The one good thing about living in times where things we enjoy continually are ruined by massive corporations, is that there’s a whole else lot you could be doing. I’d probably go to indie wrestling shows more frequently than I do now and probably buy AEW+ or whatever the f**k they’re gonna call it. I’m just really annoyed.
