I hope you make art. I think everyone does. Some people put effort into conforming. It's a natural inclination to be in the pack you're in. But you can't do it exactly the same; if it's not flattery, it’s copying. That difference, that flare that makes the group member an individual- that's art. Everyone does art. All the things you try are art.
When you look back at old pictures or videos from years ago often there's some appalling, tried nature to the thing or an aspect that's over now that was pertinent for what seems like no reason at all today. But sometimes there's something perfect. Sometimes when you look back you see something that works as well now as it did then- your mom smiling as a young woman, a landscape, a thing that can be appreciated as it was in its time or more, stuff nobody saw or nobody liked that, once it got out, it clicked. People got it. Maybe it applies to something that wasn't even real yet when the shot was snapped.
You make art, but you never know.
Nerves of Steel
I am awkward with reverence as a sign of praise. There's a gush and there's a white dam wall gonna come down one of these days. I'm gonna make myself a wishlist. I'm gonna put your number on it. Gonna pick up everything I left behind. I'm gonna go downtown and pawn it. Cuz I could really use a five dollar bill like I used to need a glass of shine. The room’s still empty cuz the jury’s still out and you're still mine.
You must have nerves of steel to say the things you say. You take a stand in your incendiary words and you just wait for them to go away. Cuz you believe that mutual assured destruction’ll keep the oppositions points under it's breath. And you're holdin’ your last bullet in your teeth so you don't laugh yourself to death. And I could really use a five dollar bill like I used to need a glass of shine. The room’s still empty cuz the jury’s still out and your still mine.
So here we are, someone like God and me. Stopping the end of the world seems like a good idea, but my advice is free. And being as we’re fighting for the liberty to spend free advice will likely go down in the fray. And I think I'm gonna cut myself off short cuz I don't have a thing to say.
The day this video was shot I was a mess. I'd been out late the night before and the night before that and I was broke and I forgot a film crew was coming and I was high and hung over and painting the house I was renting on the back side. Darren came around the corner. He'd come to ask when was practice or something and I was up on a ladder.
He said, “There's a TV crew in your front yard.”
I remembered them saying they were coming. I was like, “Oh s**t!"
I went in and washed my hands while they set up. Then I just played them some songs. I wasn't self conscious about what a mess I was at all. We did the shoot. They packed up and left. I don't think it went on TV.
I was certain that I was well and fine. Certain.
Close your eyes to the disaster of a human I was at the time. The song still works. I'm still certain I'm fine, but less so that I was when this video was shot.
