As I get to know myself, which as I get older I realize takes the whole time, I see things in myself that I can't see in other people, things that I still tag as normal for me but no longer assume are the kinds of things all the other kids have going on upstairs.
I have found an unstudied attention to some simple Buddhist principals to be of some assistance to the personalized foibles of my me-ness. I can see why Buddhism has seen the success it has seen over the course of its way. Even without study, some of the ideas and principles therein offer aid in living with common neurosis- the kinds of things everyone has.
The phrases and ideas that have worked their way into the cultures where Buddhism really took root are helpful to the people within those cultural landscapes in the same way that the little bible things we western folk all thoughtlessly say to each other are an aid to us. Again, with little examination it is clear that some of the little phrases there are, come from the same place or cover the same part of our internal chop.
This too shall pass.
एतदपि गमिष्यति
One of the tenets of Buddhism is an awareness of impermanence. All the things that are now will not always be.
If you have the sort of internal weather that I do, it is a comforting reminder.
Sometimes I am overcome with the notion that there is some impending overwhelming disaster about to befall me and there is f**k all I can do to prevent it. Sometimes it is an absolutely crippling notion. It makes me scared and unable to act and changes the way I live my day to day because… it seems like I need to give it my attention, this disastrous notion.
I can remind myself that it will pass, that I wont always feel that way. For example, I’m not currently bothered by it.
But in a very real way, it’s true. The disaster could be that everything is passing from the earth: us, our stuff, our friends, everything that we hold dear. The trick is not being bent out of shape about it. There is still stuff to do to be in the world. I am not certain there is anything we can do to make it better, the world, but we can help each other to be ok while we are here.
Sometimes a song comes from the place where I know some of the true events of the world are upon me and that regardless of my fate as an individual, the whole thing will go on, and that it should go on and that it will go on even without my encouragement.
But I do feel obliged to offer a little, perhaps off-putting encouragement as a reminder that the real is real.
In Coeur d’alene I will take my stand
Coeur d’alene I will make my stand
Coeur d’alene I will make my stand
if you’re with me I will hold your hand
So come with me
I will set you free
Come with me I will set you free
Come with me I will set you free
Don't want nothin’ that ain’t meant to be
Babe, when I was young I staid on the run
I was young I stayed on the run
I was young I stayed on the run
Never did nothing I well should have done
When I was old I did what I was told
I was old did what I was told
I was old did what I was told
Took that money. Put it in my fold
So When I die leave me where I lie
When I die leave me where I lie
When I die leave me where I lie
Only fools believe they’ll learn to fly
In Coeur D’alene I will make my stand
Coeur D’alene I will make my stand
Coeur D’alene I will make my stand
If you’re with me I will hold your hand
If you’re with me I will hold your hand
If you’re with me I will hold your hand
I feel like for my sake and probably for yours I do well to remind myself when I telescope time out in to the disaster that is my end, that I am not there, that I can not see it from here and that I’m in the middle of a right here that is so vast I couldn’t possibly know it, much less anything I imagine beyond it. I'm in the middle of the place that I am, in the time that it is and everything else is just my passing thoughts, my impermanent self imagining other limited impermanences as if they are more important than right now. I do well to remind myself that this too shall pass.
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