Description

Episode 11: Hey loves! 🥰 Just me and Jake, chilling at home today, feeling so refreshed after the sweetest birthday getaway in Deep Ellum, Dallas. (Side note: thrift shopping with someone you're dating? 10/10 recommend — cuteness overload! 🛍️✨)

But here’s the real magic I really want to share with you…

This episode is all about Complex PTSD — why accepting that I have it has been the most profound gift I’ve given myself this year. It’s the book that opened my eyes: Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving by Pete Walker—if you resonate with anything I share today, go get it. Trust. 🚀

Here's What We're Unpacking:

• What is Complex PTSD?
  Pete Walker breaks it down into five core parts: emotional flashbacks, toxic shame, self-abandonment, a brutal inner critic, and social anxiety. If you're nodding along to any of these — welcome, you're in powerful company. 👯‍♀️
• Emotional Flashbacks
  Have you ever suddenly felt like a scared, helpless child? Like Thanksgiving dinner turned terror? I’ve been there. It’s disorienting—but once labeled, you can begin to heal. 🧠❤️
• Toxic Shame
  That gut-wrenching shame that says you're “ugly” or “broken”? That's trauma, not truth. I’ll tell you about the time I felt utterly annihilated by my mom’s contempt, and how learning this changed everything. 😔✊
• Passive Suicidal Ideation
  Wish the car would just swerve and end it all? You’re not alone—and you’re absolutely not “crazy.” This might be a sign of an emotional flashback—not a sign of your worth. It’s intense, but normal—for those of us who’ve hidden this for too long. 🌌🆙
• Why It Matters:
  Understanding CPTSD means realizing: this pain isn’t who you are—it’s a result of trauma. Recognizing this shifts everything. It’s like managing diabetes—a lifelong condition, yes—but one you can live with beautifully. 💉→🌿
• The Healing Power of Acceptance:
  Letting go of the “salvation fantasy” (“I’ll heal and be done forever”) was one of the hardest things…yet so liberating. Now, when flashbacks show up, I pause, breathe, and walk through them—loving myself through it. That shift? It’s total life change. 💫

Silver Linings and Sacred Shifts:

• I’m so much kinder to myself—and to others.
• Dating? Now I know to choose people who understand trauma, who are anchored—and hella supportive. Loving him, loving me, healing together. 🥂
• With my kids? I’ve learned to say, “Hey sweethearts, my nervous system’s feeling off right now. I need a moment to come back.” It’s parenting with awareness—and modeling compassionate self-care. 👩‍👧‍👦❣️

Show Notes and Links

Support the show

YouTube Channel

The Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching Intensive

Stay or Go Community

Instagram

Facebook

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit stayorgo.substack.com/subscribe