Welcome, you are listening to Every Song. A series where I play songs I’ve written throughout the years and share the stories behind them.
The first song I’m going to be playing today is a song I wrote when I was 13 years old, in 2005. It was inspired by a friend I had at school, named Emmy-Leigh, who, at the time of writing, was changing schools. This was a prettty sad time because I grew close with her in those last couple of years or so and now she was leaving. In her last few weeks, I kept thinking about how many more friends we were going to have to say goodbye to in our lifetime. This was especially because at that age I was already being seperated, saying goodbye and losing touch with so many friends as an immigrant kid who moved to a new country and then now in the new country, realising that friendships made in a place where you’re planning on staying still come and go.
This song is called Where Are You Going, written on the 9th of July 2005.
050709 Where Are You Going?
Where are you goingWill you take the memories with youWhen are you coming backWhatchu gonna do when you turn thirty-twoI hope you’re not too farHope will be keeping us togetherWhere are you goingTake the memories with you
Laughing our heads offAt that joke we thought was funny back thenCrying our eyes outCause we’ve been hurt so many timesI don’t want to go, I don’t want to leaveBut we have to go our separate waysPlease don’t run away from this town
But I might have to leave somehowDo you remember when you used to tell meThat things are gonna be okayNow I hardly hear those words coming out of your mouthWhat happened, are you scaredDon’t be, cause I’m always hereJust take one step at a timeAnd you'll be fine
The next song is called Better Than This. This one was a bit of a songwriting exercise, I think. You know what, as I’m looking at the lyrics now I can feel what I felt when I was writing this but for the life of me I can’t remember what exactly I was writing it about. But I’m pretty sure this was mostly a songwriting exercise for me with a hint of emotional inspiration from something. I just can’t recall what that was.
061001 Better Than This
Maybe it’s time to let you goCause nothing right now is letting me knowThat you even care about meNoI used to feel like there’s no tomorrowWhen I was with youNow when I think aboutAll the things you’ve put me throughIt’s not worth the pain
Thinking ‘bout the time you told me that you loved meKnew it was a lieDid you think I would believe youI’m not that naiveCause I’ve been thereDone thatBut now I’m just back at the startWho do you think you areBreaking my heart like that
Maybe time could change the fact thatAll you left me with are scarsNow that I really think about itForgetting you isn’t all that hardWhat happened to the friendship that you promised meIf we should ever go wrongIt’s just way too blurry todayBut I know that I’m strong
And to my hopeless storyThought you were my happy endingDon’t you say you're sorryIt’s too late for your apologies
Better Than This was written on the 1st of October 2006.
The last song for today is one I started writing as a gospel song, specifically the chorus and bits of the first verse which was the first section I wrote when I got a bit of inspiration for lines and a melody for this. But when I kept writing the rest of the song it naturally went onto a more romantic storyline instead. So, it can be taken any way that a listener needs to take it.
The subtle gospel-subliminal-messaging-in-music-that-sound-like-love-songs is a technique that a pop artist that I grew up listening to used to do. Brooke Fraser.
Brooke Fraser’s first couple of albums was marketed and sold as generic secular music to attract mass audiences - and it worked. But a keen listener at that time would have realised that romantic themes in her music alluded to her love for God and religion. She is now - surprise surprise - Hillsong’s biggest legacy artist.
I don’t listen to her gospel music these days or any gospel music these days, because I have lost my faith a long time ago, but I do find myself going back to her debut secular music and albums every now and then.
So, I wrote this song on the 28th of December 2007, when I still haven’t caught on that she was subliminally sending me Christian messaging in her music. This is called Incomplete.
071228 Incomplete
Opened windows, opened doorsI can’t seem to get me more of your loveYou’re too fast, you’re too high up aboveAnd I am simply not enoughWishing I had plenty to offerBut I don’t, I’m just a poor little girlMaybe your shadow could help me find the light againBack to your world
But I am confusedI am blindI am jealousAnd you’re too kindSo, let her goAnd leave it beLook me in the eyesAnd sweep me off my feet
(And) shoutShout out and testifyMoveUntangle all the liesBreatheFor I am hereAnd I’ll never leaveYou incomplete
So, I’ll carry on, I’ll be moving onI’m finding that so hard to doIt’s difficult but it’s only smartFor me to walk awayBut I can’t help but to wonderIf your eyes denied and lied to herSo, don’t take away the comfort bySaying this is all a blurBecause one day you’ll realiseThat I’m right here by your sideAnd I’ve always been, and you’d be gladI’ve always been holding your hand
Thank you for listening to episode 20 of Every Song. Until next time.
