If you’ve ever deleted a text asking for help three times because asking feels like admitting you’re a fraud, this episode is for you. Psychologist Dr. Therese Mascardo explains why high-achievers struggle to ask for help and gives you 6 practical strategies to actually get better at it without feeling like you’re destroying your entire identity.
You’ll learn why asking for help feels like identity destruction, what NOT asking for help is really costing you, how to connect asking for help to your deepest values, why modeling vulnerability is powerful leadership, how to practice your way through the fear starting really small, and what to do when people say no. If you’re the eldest daughter, the hyper-independent one, or the person everyone leans on but you never lean back, this conversation will help you remember that the people doing the biggest things are the ones who know how to ask for help.
Listen now:
Apple Podcasts:https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/checking-in-with-dr-therese-mascardo/id1847993697Spotify:
YouTube:https://youtu.be/4f1ujBLZHLs
In This Episode:
The 6 Strategies That Actually Work:
* Understand this isn’t your identity—it’s a role you learned to play - You built your sense of self around not needing help, but that’s just conditioning pretending to be a virtue
* Name what asking for help actually costs you - You’re burning out trying to do everything alone while the thing you fear (looking incompetent) is actually being created by NOT asking
* Connect asking for help to what you actually value - Start treating asking for help as living your values about community and connection
* Ask for help as an act of modeling - Every time you ask for help, you’re teaching the people around you that being capable includes knowing your limits
* Start really small and practice through the fear - Build the muscle with low-stakes requests where your worth isn’t on the line
* Expect that some people will say no - Practice seeing “no” as information about their capacity, not information about your worth
Key Quotes:
“You’re not bad at asking for help because you’re too independent. You’re bad at it because you learned that your value came from not needing anything from anyone.”
“Being needed felt good. Needing felt dangerous.”
“You’re holding onto a version of yourself that’s too small for who you’re becoming.”
“Every time you ask for help, you’re not just making your own life easier. You’re building the kind of community you actually want to live in.”
“The people doing the biggest things, making the most impact, living the richest lives? They’re the ones who know how to ask for help.”
“A no to your request is not a no to you.”
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About Checking In:
This podcast is for high-achievers, perfectionists, and eldest daughters who look like they have it all together but are silently struggling. Think of me like a big sister with a doctorate who’s been there too and knows what actually helps.
No confusing academic jargon or pretending I have all the answers. Just real conversations about building a life you don’t need to escape from.
New episodes every Thursday.
Sponsored by TherapyNotes: This episode is made possible by TherapyNotes, the all-in-one practice management software that helps therapists handle notes, scheduling, billing, and telehealth so they can focus on people, not paperwork. Try it free for 2 months with code DRTHERESE: https://bit.ly/3IjR482
Connect with Dr. Therese:
Instagram: https://instagram.com/exploring.therapy
Website:
https://www.exploringtherapy.com
Newsletter: https://exploringtherapy.substack.com/podcast
