From billion-dollar boo-boos to apocalyptic oversights, we're serving up a steaming hot mess of history's priciest facepalms.
š£ Welcome to GO FACT YOURSELF, where we're not just counting down the top 10, we're investigating the epic fails that almost took us all down! šø This week, prepare for a rollercoaster of regret as we dive deep into the Top 10 Most Expensive F*-Ups in Human History (That We Somehow Survived)! š¤¦āāļø Get ready for jaw-dropping facts, commentary thatās sharper than a broken metric ruler, and enough financial fallout to make your 401k weep. š If you love tales of human error with a side of existential dread (and maybe a sprinkle of dark humor š), you've hit the jackpot! š° Join us as we dissect these legendary blunders, from tech tantrums to nuclear near-misses. This isn't your grandma's history lesson ā it's a capitalism blooper reel š¬ that proves sometimes, survival is the most expensive achievement of all. So grab your popcorn šæ, maybe your therapy blanket <0xF0><0x9F><0xAA><0xA5>, and letās count down the catastrophes! š
Hereās the catastrophic countdown you can expect:
#10: The Pilot Who Pressed āDelete Allā ā Air Canadaās $200 Million Glitchfest āļø One wrong keystroke grounded Canadaās biggest airline in 2017, delaying 241 flights and stranding 20,000 passengers. The software fix took nearly two days. You know itās bad when even the maple syrup canāt sweeten the PR disaster.
#9: The Man Who Lost $220 Million in Bitcoinā¦ In His Trash šļø In 2013, James Howells threw out a hard drive containing 8,000 Bitcoins, now worth nearly $220 million. Heās been blocked by the local council from his $12 million robotic AI-sorting dig attempts. Imagine your lifeās fortune buried under cat litter and used diapers while council members sip tea saying, āNaaahā.
#8: The NASA Metric Mishap That Killed a $327 Million Mars Mission š NASA's Mars Climate Orbiter burned up in Mars' atmosphere because Lockheed Martin used imperial units while NASA used metric. The error went undetected for months. One small step for man, one giant leap into a flaming crater of embarrassment.
#7: The Typo That Lost Japan $225 Million in 1 Minute āØļø In 2005, a Tokyo stockbroker accidentally tried to sell 610,000 shares of J-Com for 1 yen each instead of 1 share for 610,000 yen. The Tokyo Stock Exchange refused to cancel the order. Somewhere in Tokyo, thereās a guy whose pinky slipped ā and now he drinks regret like itās matcha.
#6: The $6 Billion Oil Spill That Started with a Cigarette Lighter š¬ The Piper Alpha North Sea oil platform exploded in 1988 after a technician ignored a missing safety valve, and someone lit a cigarette. The inferno killed 167 workers and led to a $6 billion insurance payout. Smokers, you finally have a worse example than lung cancer.
#5: The Guy Who āMisplacedā $9 Billion at SociĆ©tĆ© GĆ©nĆ©rale š§āš¼ In 2008, French rogue trader JĆ©rĆ“me Kerviel racked up ā¬49.9 billion in unauthorized trades, costing the bank nearly ā¬5 billion ($7ā9 billion). He was a junior trader using simple loopholes. Kervielās defense was basically, āI was just vibingā.
#4: The Times Square Billboard That Blinded New Yorkersā¦ and Cost $18 Million š In 2008, a 120-foot Times Square LED billboard malfunctioned, flashing seizure-inducing lights and pornographic glitches. The billboard had no off switch; engineers had to manually cut the power. Times Square already causes migraines. This turned it into a Blade Runner fever dream.
#3: The Deepwater Horizon Disaster ā $65 Billion and a Public Relations Meltdown š BPās 2010 oil spill dumped 210 million gallons of crude into the Gulf of Mexico. Their CEO then famously said, āIād like my life backā. Worst corporate flex in history: destroying an ocean and then complaining about your day.
#2: The Guy Who Lost the Atomic Bombā¦ and Never Found It Again ā¢ļø In 1958, the U.S. military accidentally dropped a nuclear bomb off the coast of Georgia. The Air Force chose not to retrieve it, calling it āsafe if undisturbedā. America: where we lose nukes like car keys and shrug like itās Tuesday.
#1: The Chernobyl Disaster ā $700 Billion in Fallout and Counting ā¢ļøš„ A failed safety test in 1986 caused the worst nuclear accident in history. The USSRās secrecy delayed international response, and the long-term cost is estimated between $300 to $700 billion. When your mistake becomes a permanent tourist attraction, you know youāve reached peak āGo Fact Yourselfā.
