The Courage to Be Disliked
What happens when your survival depended on being liked?
In this episode, I talk about what it takes to be okay with people not liking you—especially if you grew up managing someone else's emotions. Whether it was a parent with a substance abuse problem, an unstable environment, or a relationship where you had to hide parts of yourself just to stay safe, you learned that being disliked had consequences. Real ones.
That pattern doesn't just go away when you leave. It follows you. And as long as you need approval from everyone, you'll never be free to be truly yourself—or to use your true voice.
We explore:
The book The Courage to Be Disliked and Alfred Adler's ideas
What it means to "manage someone else's emotions"
Why being disliked can feel genuinely dangerous (even when it's not)
How that fear pattern gets reactivated in relationships
Starting small: admitting the "weird" things you love
Dignity and integrity when you're the only one in the room who disagrees
A healthy voice is an honest voice. A relaxed body is comfortable with who they really are. Someone comfortable with who they really are is comfortable being honest.
Journal Prompt: What is a subject or topic you love—something you find fascinating, could read about all day—that nobody in your regular life knows about? Why do you keep it to yourself? What are you afraid will happen if they find out?
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