I have been thinking a lot about creation, creativity, and how it relates to consumption lately.
This substack is called Trust the Magic and it was born out of a creative practice of one hundred days of what I dubbed “medicine writing.” These writings came direct from the deepest threads of truth in my heart and were medicine for me to write and, hopefully, medicine for you to read.
One thing I know for sure about true creation is that it’s like that; medicine for all it touches.
I had just given birth to Maya and was feeling social media pulling on me in many ways I did not enjoy or want to participate in, so I decided to take a hiatus from it and just focus on medicine writing and my family.
This felt scary and naive on one level. I am a woman with an online business. How could I get off social media as it was the main way I attracted business? But I trusted the nudge and the process and did it anyway.
And hence, the name from the Meister Eckhart quote: “And suddenly you know, it’s time to start something new and trust the magic of new beginnings.”
I was off social media completely for about 6 months. Initially, it felt like the space in my life increased by a hundred fold. I was amazed at how much more time I seemed to have. But pretty quickly that time was swallowed up by other things. When you spend a lot of time on social media it can feel like you are letting go of a good friend and like you’re going to miss it. But honestly, after the initial shock of all the time I had, I kind of forgot that social media existed.
The one thing I did miss was seeing the people I only interact with on social media and colleagues and friends of mine I know only through the online space.
About 3 months ago it felt true to return to social media. I felt ready to start working a little more and I wanted to participate in 100 days of visibility, which is a practice of going live on social media every day for one hundred days without any plan or promoting anything and just letting people see you exactly as you are.
I just did my Day 95 video earlier this morning so that practice is coming to an end soon as well.
It has felt like these past 3 months back on social media have been a period of consumption. Social media after all is designed to be easily consumed. Reel after reel after reel. Instagram story after instagram story. Scrolling. The content never seems to stop. It’s always there and there is always something new, no matter how many times you open the little app in a day. Constant entertainment. And for someone like me who is a content creator, constant inspiration as well.
I’ve also been in this process of re-feeding myself. Eating a lot and frequently. Eating in a surplus if you will, because my body needed it to feel safe.
I’ve been noticing how I’ve been trying to stuff my time full. Trying to do twelve self care practices in one afternoon instead of just doing the one that is true to do. Constantly trying pack more “self care” in.
But I can feel a shift beginning to take place. I am beginning to move from consumption to digestion and assimilation and from digestion comes creation. I’ve been feeling frustrated, agitated and tight and I notice that when I feel this way it’s because as my friend, Rebecca Kate Freeman says, it’s like I’ve grown out of my proverbial jeans, my life doesn’t quite fit me anymore.
The tightness and agitation are the communications from my body I need to actually let myself listen to. These are the signs that it’s time to slow down. Time to stop all over consumption and start to digest and assimilate. Time to let what has been consumed settle and rest and start to break down.
If I don’t stay aware of my body’s communications to me, instead of slowing down when there is tightness and agitation, I will speed up. I will try to avoid the uncomfortable sensations of the too tight jeans by distracting myself with shiny object after shiny object. I’ll scroll. I’ll eat mindlessly. I’ll pack the next day full of activities that are supposed to be soothing but really just leave me moving a hundred miles a minute, checking things off an imaginary list.
Frustration and tightness and agitation are messengers. They are the results of over consumption. They are the symptoms of needing assimilation and integration.
Assimilation, digestion, and integration are those mysterious things that happen in the background and out of sight. They don’t require any conscious “doing.” And that’s why we are quick to undermine and ignore or distrust them.
It’s like how when we are sleeping, eg “doing nothing”, our bodies and brains are actually doing more to repair and prepare themselves for the next day, than they have done or will do during our all waking hours.
To create something there is always a period of consumption and then rest and digestion before the creation itself is born. And this cycles happens within itself as well. Periods of consumption and periods of digestion and periods of creation, all happening at once, all the time.
Another way I’ve been thinking about it is like being pregnant. There is a gestation period where, from the outside it doesn’t seem like much is happening, and then, BOOM, you have a whole new human.
And the creation coming through right now is my new container FED.
I’ve been consuming and taking in information and experiences for this container for my whole adult life. It’s truly a culmination of my work thus far.
It would be really easy to try to force something right now. To try to push something out before it’s ready because it would distract me from this tight agitation.
But the true thing is to let it finish brewing completely. To build trust into every little step.
It is time to open and not close. Time to be still and listen. Time to allow all that I have been consuming to be broken down, digested and assimilated through my particular lens, energy, and frequency.
Time to stop consuming and let the creation that is mine and mine alone come through.
If you’ve ever had a baby, you know how through all the intensity and pain, after it is over, you’ve never felt more satisfied in your entire life.
Creation is like that, the most satisfying work I’ve ever done.
And so this is it. It’s time to reach out if you’re called to FED. The doors will be closing soon, as the creation is almost fully out the gate. Just a week or so more of brewing and she will be here.
I can’t wait to share this work with those of you that feel the call.
