The home was the first divine institution God established on the earth. God solved man’s aloneness by creating a woman from his rib. He, then, brought her unto the man and joined them together in holy matrimony (Gen. 2:18-24). God ordered the home with the man being over the woman.
“But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God” (1 Cor. 11:3).
In this relationship, the woman is supposed to submit to her husband as to the Lord (Eph. 5:22), and the children are to be obedient to their parents (Eph. 6:1-3).
It is affirmed by all Christians that the man of the house is called to be the Lord’s spiritual leader in the home. This is a position that the man assumes the very moment he and his bride are pronounced husband and wife. At that very moment, the Lord begins to hold the man accountable for his attitudes, words, and actions as he leads his home.
In the eyes of the Lord, his position is extremely significant. This man is on the front lines fighting for the cause of Christ. This man’s primary focus should be the constant care for the souls of each one of his family members, that is, his wife and all of his children.
Satan’s Attempts to Undermine God’s Plan
Satan understands the importance of the man being the spiritual leader of the home. Therefore, he has turned up the heat against the headship of the man.
“That’s outdated.”
First, he has sought to convince the masses that this is an outdated system.
The argument is that a woman can often do a better job of leading the home than a man can. She leads in education. She leads in business. She leads in politics.
Thus, she ought to be able to lead the home.
Removing the father from the home.
Second, Satan has done all in his power to remove the man from the home.
Women bear children out of wedlock, so the home does not have a father in it. Many homes have fallen victim to divorce.
Again, the man is removed from the home.
Overly busy to satisfy greed.
Third, husbands and wives have become lovers of pleasure and lovers of things. This means that the man must be constantly working away from the home in order to satisfy all of their fleshly desires.
Failing to take their role seriously.
Fourth, even those fathers who are actively in their homes often fail to take their leadership role seriously.
They expect a Christian school or a church to accomplish the very things the Lord has called them to do. These fathers often slack in their duties and blame others for their failures.
The Man Must Be Understanding
For the man of the house to become an effective leader, he must first recognize and appreciate his position.
“For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the Saviour of the body” (Eph. 5:23).
The head of our physical body is the control center that directs and guides the efforts of the body. In like manner, the head of the home is the one responsible for directing and guiding the efforts of the home.
As the head, the man of the house must also understand that he is the one who is responsible for the spiritual training in the home.
“And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord” (Eph. 6:4).
He will do much of the teaching. Too, he will make certain the training is carried out when he is not able to do it. His wife, his parents, his in-laws, spiritual friends, a Christian school, and the church can all be called upon to give him aid as he leads his family in the ways of God.
The Man Must Be Learning
Second, the man of the house will only be effective when he “learns” to be the Lord’s leader.
Leadership is a skill that can be acquired. A man’s best teacher is none other than Jesus Christ. Men need to spend hours studying the leadership patterns practiced by Jesus.
One aspect of Jesus’ leadership style involved His being a servant to others. Philippians 2:7 affirms that Jesus “took upon him the form of a servant.” Perhaps His most well-known act as a servant was when he washed the feet of His disciples in John 13:4-5.
“He riseth from supper, and laid aside his garments; and took a towel, and girded himself. After that he poureth water into a basin, and began to wash the disciples’ feet, and to wipe them with the towel wherewith he was girded.”
His service was voluntary. His service involved a lowly, dirty task. He performed the service without complaint. He served all of His disciples alike. He did not receive any monetary reward for his labor. He did not even receive any thanks for the service that He rendered.
Yes, fathers can truly learn from the servant form of leadership carried out by the Christ.
The Man Must Be Patient
Third, the man of the house must be patient in his role as the leader of the home.
There will be many challenging days that the man will face both as a husband and a father. There will be struggles he will face as a provider and as a protector. There will be obstacles that must be overcome as a teacher.
Too, he will have to discipline with much difficulty and heartache. He may have to fight the enemy on numerous occasions. He will sometimes stand all alone in his leadership position.
Through all of the battles, he must endure.
“For ye have need of patience, that, after ye have done the will of God, ye might receive the promise” (Heb. 10:36).
The Man Must Be Courageous
Fourth, closely connected to patience is courage. All leadership roles will involve situations that will call upon a leader to muster courage.
The man of the house needs to keep in mind 2 Timothy 1:7.
“For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love and of a sound mind.”
The enemy will manifest strength. The obstacles will seem formidable. The world will cry out: “Give up.” The body will tremble. The mind will doubt. The Lord might feel far away. Faith will sometimes seem small. In those moments, courage must be allowed to stand out.
This courage shouts: “I can prevail with the Lord’s help.” Courage trusts in the strength of the Lord. Courage trusts in the promises of God. Courage looks death in the face with a chilling stare.
With the heart of a lion, the man of the house seeks victory for himself and his family.
The Man Must Be Focused
Fifth, the man of the house cannot get distracted.
When Satan sees he cannot prevail with his might, he will use the cares, riches, and pleasures of the world to distract. He will entice the lusts of the flesh, the lusts of the eyes, and the pride of life.
Yes, he will take attention away from the battlefield. He knows that when a man is distracted, he can strike a death blow. Many verses exhort the head of the house to stay focused.
“…forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus” (Phil.3:13-14).
“Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth” (Col. 3:2).
“Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith…” (Heb. 12:1).
We cannot stress enough the importance of the man of the house being the Lord’s spiritual leader.
If every father properly understood his role, the church would not have as much to do. Each family unit would be faithful to the Lord. Every member of every household would seek to learn the Lord’s will. Every member of the family unit would submit themselves to the will of God and be faithful in the Lord’s service.
We exhort the man of the house to “man up.” Accept the Lord’s charge. Develop the qualities you need to be the spiritual leader of the home. Be all that you can be for your wife and children.
Victor M. Eskew preaches for the Oceanside church of Christ in Atlantic Beach, Florida.
The church offers a variety of free Bible study courses for anyone interested in studying God’s word. They also have a large archive of videos on their YouTube channel. I appreciate Victor’s teaching in this article!
