Greetings, bonjour what’s happening
Another week, yes indeed. So I’ve been home most of this week, ostensibly because of the rail-strikes but then I went and got COVID, again. Yea, COVID, who remembers that?
I must have a mild-form of it because, touchwood, it’s not been too bad, just a bit tired and throaty; bit of a headache. Seemingly spent a large of chunk of yesterday keeping an unsociable distance from my wife and scrolling on my phone. I’m not much of a scroller, normally more of a YouTube Video-Clicker-type. Seems a lot of people I vaguely know are at Glastonbury, having a decent time of it.
Anyway, felt pretty unhealthy after a good-day of doing that and it reminded me how easily I succumb to unstructured behaviour and how it makes me feel; rarely good. A couple of emails I needed to reply too and this little blog, was enough motivation for me to get off my arse and do something. There’s a fair amount going on right now, which requires my attention and sweeping it under the rug because of a bit of COVID is not going to do me any favours and it’s not like I’m doing any back-breaking labour. But self-care, Paul? Relax, I might have a Twix.
Speaking of labour and work, I had to cancel two of my regular gigs this week due to the train-strike, which I don’t get paid for but I’m happy to forgo that. Large-up the strikers; from what I gather striking is a last resort, best of luck to them. I’ve been enjoying seeing clips of Mick Lynch talking on the telly. A lot of modern, mainstream-politics, seems to me to just rely on window-dressing via tokenistic policies and meaningless platitudes. It’s refreshing to see a bit of genuine pushback, with someone that doesn’t sound like a PR auto-bot, with real-world-results. A timely reminder to Labour, perhaps, about who they’ve been ignoring, for the last thirty years or so?
But we crack on. Amidst price hikes, wars and stagnating wages, we crack on. What else do we do? Sit on our blowers, mindlessly scrolling? No Thanks.
So this weeks writing-offering is the piece I mentioned last week about chairs. I like a good chair It’s in slightly better shape than it was but I’m still sure not sure about it, so I welcome any feedback. I’ve also tagged on a song at the end. Something that I recorded with my good pal Conrad Murray about ten years ago, who produced it.
If this blog was partly about me pushing myself, I should be including music in that. I’ve been making music for a long time now but aside from that theatre stuff and the odd gig, I’ve largely kept it separate. Mainly because I overthink how people will react to it, as if there’s not enough overlap between the two worlds and they’ll think it’s weird; when really, who cares? Silly, I know. Fear of other people’s opinions is something that’s always held me back. Be brave, clench fists, as Mike Skinner said.
All this is in preparation for an EP that I’ve entirely self-produced; that I hope to have released by the autumn. I plan to start drip-feeding some of the music into this. One of the tracks is already out, you can hear it here. Because, Why not?
The song is called Another Day, you can stream it on HERE
So that’s it for this week, bit long-winded I know.
Despite these turbulent times, I hope you all have a decent weekend
Peas and taters
Paul
CHAIR WARS
The set up for our form-tutor was three rows.
Single-desk-row on the sides
Double desk-row in the middle
Our little firm hugged the first four desks on the
Right-hand-side if you were facing
the front of the class, where Mrs
Khan sat, our tutor
Kells and Luko held the front desk
Me and Gary the second
Ram and Rhino sat behind
Shane and Danny at the back
We held it down during registration and the
other random tutor group things we occasionally
had to do like PSHE, whatever that was
This and PE were probably the only time
mixed ability kids, actually mixed
gearing us up for the future
Mrs Kahn was the form tutor
Fairly stern but liked a calm class, with the occasional giggle
There was never any set places for anyone to sit at
No formalised desk plan, we were year 11’s
With a gnat’s eyelash of independence
Technically, you could sit where you wanted, technically
The whole tutor-group seemed to tick to have their
preferred spots and stuck to them
The prime real estate was the bottom left
Back of the class
you had the windows for a good-look-out
I liked a good-look-out the window
The back unit which you could lean on
Or leave your bag on
It was a sweet-spot
This highly value piece of land
was held by a crew of girls who were legion
about 8 of them
in any other lesson they wouldn’t be sat at the back of the class
They were all nice girls and high-achievers
Back of the class was for tough kids
And nobs, like me
Who weren’t tough but
Still mucked about
Until we got told off
But occasionally gave a bit of
Lip back to teachers.
I wasn’t happy about these unwritten rules
No where was it stated that we had a seating plan
Mrs Khan didn’t roll like that
She valued that gnat’s eyelash of independence we
Were afforded, as did we, as did I
Technically, you could sit where you wanted, technically
Yet we all fell into line
I’ve always questioned things
I’m an ideas guy
I felt it unfair the girls had a monopoly on that timeshare
It was only fair that us boys should share it
Share and share alike and
Maybe don’t give it back
Once obtained
It was out time
Action needed to be taken
I called it on
I said’ listen boys, we should take that space’
‘Tomorrow, we’ll get into class early’
‘And claim it as ours’
So when the girls arrive, we’ll already be camped-out
Firmed up, having changed the locks, like squatters but
With the impact of revolutionaries but importantly
Done legally, we’d just be asserting our rights
Because, technically, you could sit where you wanted, technically
Next morning I arrived
nervous but cocky but scared and ultimately unsure what I was doing
pretty-much a default position for me
at any point during my life
counting on the support of my peers but
not guaranteed of it
Just another day
Gary arrives
he held a lot more weight than me
People respected him more
He wore Kickers and a Kappa puffa-jacket
I had imitation Kickers and an Esinegger jacket
Barely respectable
But sometimes Gary listened to me, sometimes
The girls-group all travelled in from the same place
Their bus was nearly always late
So we had time on our side
Me and Gary nodded heads
picked up our bags
We made our move
knowing that when the other boys arrive
The takeover would be complete
Bowled over like heroes that
No-one had noticed
Plonked my backback on the back shelf unit
Had a good gawp out the window
The world looked a grey sheen of fine
Put my feet up on the chair next to me
Breathed the air
tasted the moment
It tasted good but
It didn’t feel right
Butterflies?
Felt wrong
But what was wrong?
Technically, you could sit anywhere you wanted, technically
We got a couple of looks from the other people in the class
No one said nothing though
Probably because Gary was there
But we held it down
It was ours
Rhino and Ramo arrive in the door
They clock us, then looked away
And sat in their usual seats
I felt a feeling rise within that wasn’t t nice
Like I‘d been dis-respected
A familiar feeling
I casually smiled like
I hadn’t noticed it
Just butterflies
Just butterflies
‘pussies’ I said
‘Don’t worry Gary they’ll be over in a minute’
Gary looked non-plussed either way
I think he was just enjoying something different
Kells and Luko arrived
People were scared of Kells
He wasn’t scared of teachers
Often disruptive
Didn’t care much for order
He was cerited to join the ranks
he looked at us, then looked away
Kells. How?!
Like the other two
I called him a pussy
But kept it to myself
My sense of fairness didn’t extend to mates who
Could chin-me
The girls arrived in the door
The moment of reckoning
Stay strong
They came in force and stormed
The bottom corner of the class
outraged
kicking off straight away
One of them tried to grab my bag
I pulled it to my chest and retreated my legs from the back unit
‘ can see sit where we want’, I said
‘Free country’ without any understanding of
What that meant
One of the other girls was pulling on the sleevs of Gary’s puffa
He no longer looked amused with it all
With just one scowl the girl then backed-off
Then they turned their attention to me
I tried a Gary-like-scowl
Pretty sure that girl I aimed it at laughed
I could feel myself wilting
Held on
They then deployed their greatest weapon and
protested to Mrs Kahn
with the fervour of student activists with the
right accent and vocabulary
Mrs Kahn looked up at us
Then back down at her register
Sighed
And ordered us back to our seats
I protested to Mrs Khan
Asserting some reason
‘Technically, we can sit where we want. Technically’
‘It’s not fair miss’
Mrs Khan waved away my pathetic protest
My dignity, my human right to free expression
And the right to sit where I wanted in the tutor group
With a casual authoritarian override
No one coming to my rescue
Though deep down I was sure they all agreed
‘Na, I’m not going’ I said
Even though I knew I was going
Mrs Kahn stands up
‘Stop wasting my bloody time, you silly boys’
My face goes red
Picked up my bag, pushed further into my chest
I took one last look out of that glorious window
And trudged back to my usual desk
The other boys looking at me
I smiled to hide the humiliation
Kells grinned at me, turned to Luko and
made a wanker sign
Ram and Rhino said nothing
Our revolution was short-lived
Gary looks at me, ‘you nob, that
Was never gonna work’ he says
Bu technically, you can sit anywhere, technically
‘just shut-up man’ he says
Mrs Kahn calls the register
I put my head on my bag
Deflated
Kells turns round and laughs at me
‘You wanker’ he says
I never was a leader
I had the ideas but lacked the execution
but a permanent point to prove
like a car, a destination but no driving skills
I had drive, though
Just a shame it was all as useful
As that cheap pencil with a forever
Breaking-tip, that sat in the inside-pocket of
My school blazer
