Welcome back to Teeny Bopper TV Breakdown! Today we recap Breaker High, episode 33, “New Kids on the Deck.”
The ship is pulling into New York City, Denise’s hometown! Sean tries to show off his NYC knowledge to Tamira but has his mental map very mixed up, which of course Denise immediately points out (she’s right, the only way you could get from the Bronx Zoo to the Brooklyn Bridge AND stroll down Wall Street before lunch is probably by teleporting). They see Cassidy come up to Max and touch his arm; the teens don’t speak but both look very upset as Max shakes his head and Cassidy rushes off. Sean apparently didn’t know that Max caught Cassidy and Alex kissing, and goes off to Tamira about how her gender has no honor (she tries to protest, he doesn’t listen) and how he’d go insane with jealousy if his girlfriend kissed another guy, but he doesn’t have to worry about that with Tamira (well, she’s never going to purposefully tell him what happened last episode).
Tamira muses to Sean that she never thought Max and Cassidy would break up; in fact, she envisioned them (in much too specific detail) having a long and happy life together. Sean counters that he never thought they, nor himself and Tamira for that matter, would even get together in the first place, then starts reminiscing about the group’s first day on the ship. And with that, we officially have a flashback episode!
Breaker High originally set sail from Los Angeles. The first person we recognize coming on board is Ashley, and true to form, as she’s talking on the world’s earliest cell phone to Tyler, she thinks Nigel is a bellboy and asks him to bring her luggage from the parking lot, where it’s divided between a blue Mercedes, red Range Rover and green Lexus. Jimmy is next, arriving with his parents; though Tony mentions that orientation is for students only, Jimmy’s mother doesn’t seem to care. Tamira is oversharing to a fully stereotypically nerdy Denise, who had only asked where the library is. Cassidy and Alex bond over both being jocks, though Alex is currently in a walking boot while Cassidy is bringing a bunch of sports equipment on board.
Ms. Mitchell brings Tamira to her and Ashley’s cabin - as you might have suspected, Ashley has already turned most of the room into a giant closet, as she had thought she had the whole thing to herself. Tamira makes a half-hearted joke about sleeping out in the hall and Ashley takes her seriously, and then on deck Sean flirts with every girl but her, making her feel even more invisible, so she ends her first day on the phone with her mom in tears, though she pretends she’s having a great time.
In their cabin, Cassidy and Denise are trying to find something they have in common and are proving very unsuccessful, until they remember one thing: boys! They look through the Breaker High directory to find the cute ones with good personalities, and are glad to find out their types are very different so won’t be competing over the same guys. Cassidy is already intrigued by Max, who doesn’t have a photo but does share in his bio that he loves all sorts of extreme sports, same as Cassidy.
Back in the present, all the students are on deck gasping at the Statue of Liberty, when Captain Ballard comes over the intercom saying he’s just learned some of them may have been exposed to the Hepatitis A virus in their last port, so everyone is confined to the ship until further details become available. A scene later, apparently doctors’ orders are that everyone needs to get a Hep A shot, and Tamira is freaking out because she hates needles. Sean calms her down, and Jimmy starts reminiscing about their Welcome to Breaker High barbeque:
With a game of volleyball in the background and Nigel at the grill, Jimmy is acting as a yarn winder for his mom while Ms. Mitchell tells Captain Ballard that Max still hasn’t arrived, though all the other students are present and accounted for. The captain hopes this isn’t a preview of what Max’s whole experience on the ship will be like. Cassidy is tapping literally every guy’s shoulder asking if he’s Max; Sean pretends to be, but Cassidy doesn’t believe him for a second.
When the group starts doing formal introductions, Tamira is the only one wearing the “orientation beanie” Tony handed out earlier. She says the thing she’d most like to do during her Breaker High year is find her soulmate; Ashley makes a disparaging quip, and everyone else laughs. Later, Ashley and Alex actually start to have a nice conversation when Tyler calls; as Ashley’s tone shifts, Alex mutters, “Glad I’m not her boyfriend.”
Max finally shows up in the evening. As soon as he gets on board, his dad finds him and says, “You’re late.” Max retorts, “Nice to see you, too, Dad,” and the captain’s attempt to soften his phrasing with, “I was worried about you,” doesn’t really help. Captain Ballard wants Max to try and see the bright side of his situation, but that’s hard when Max feels like he’s been banished just to make his mom’s life easier. When Cassidy sees him, she’s instantly smitten. But when she tries to talk to him, he brushes her off by saying his dad wrote his directory bio. Does that matter to Cassidy? Not one bit - hard to get is her specialty.
Sean is pleasantly surprised with how much Jimmy changes once his parents leave the boat - voice, personality, clothes, everything. In perhaps a surprisingly self-aware moment, Sean says, “Let’s go annoy people!” - if that’s not their tagline for the rest of their year I don’t know what is.
Tamira is sitting on deck with Denise and Cassidy, and when Max walks by gushes about how he’s the cutest guy she’s ever seen. Ashley, who’s nearby, once again insults her, but this time Cassidy comes to Tamira’s defense. And when Ashley calls the three of them riffraff, they push her into the pool, ruining her tiara and her phone.
In the present, Sean and Tamira are laughing about the story; Ashley asks what’s so funny, and they realize it’s definitely not something they should remind her of. Tony then shares that the Hep A case was an isolated one and the students weren’t exposed, so everyone runs to disembark and explore New York. Cassidy stops for a moment to enjoy the view (which includes the Twin Towers - watching this show now knowing it aired about three years before 9/11 is very strange), and when she says to herself, “It’s beautiful,” Max steps in and says, “Yeah, it really is,” - is he talking about the view or her?! But of course Tamira and Sean run through the space between them, ruining the moment, and Max starts to walk away as Cassidy watches him go.
Don’t change that channel! We’ll be right back on Teeny Bopper TV Breakdown.
