Look at these two losers poking fun at Canada’s military.
We know the American military is bigger and more powerful. But if you think an invasion means rolling tanks into Ottawa, you don’t know our history.
The Canadian military has already modeled exactly how it would respond to a US invasion. It would use unconventional warfare. It looks just like how Indigenous Nations historically defended their territories against much larger empires. Canada wouldn’t fight battles in open fields. Instead, small groups would conduct ambushes, sabotage, and raids. We would weaponize our massive, unforgiving geography to make occupying the country mathematically unsustainable.
Centuries ago, the Mi’kmaq nation faced a similarly lopsided conflict against British forces. Outmatched in sheer numbers and heavy artillery, the Mi’kmaq avoided traditional European battle lines. They executed swift ambushes and vanished back into dense forests and waterways that foreign troops could not navigate. They trapped British soldiers inside their own fortified outposts. A modern Canadian resistance would do exactly the same to a conventional occupying army.
We would also pull pages from Shawnee leader Tecumseh and British General Isaac Brock during the Siege of Detroit. When severely outgunned, use psychological warfare. Deceive the enemy into believing you are everywhere. Break their nerve before firing a single shot. To pull this off, the military plans to mobilize a massive reserve force of 400,000 volunteers. This decentralized network would constantly disrupt supply lines and bog down invaders. It mirrors the tactics of hitting and running the Mujahideen used to fight Soviet forces in Afghanistan.
But guerrilla tactics alone don’t defeat superpowers. You also need leverage. Just as the Mi’kmaq aligned strategically with the French, and Tecumseh aligned with the British, Canada would look to allies armed with nuclear weapons, like France and the United Kingdom.
Retired Major General David Fraser, who commanded Canadian troops in Afghanistan, said that an unprovoked attack would trigger a powerful global response. You would quickly see German ships and British planes arriving to reinforce Canadian sovereignty. People care what happens to Canada, unlike Venezuela.
If you come after us, you aren’t just fighting our army. You are fighting our brutal geography, a massive armed resistance using asymmetric tactics that are centuries old, and eventually, the rest of the world.
