The Prime Minister keeps a diary. He calls it his ‘legacy document’. You are not supposed to be reading this. His office describes it as "a fabrication." But to be fair, his office describes most things as a fabrication, so make of that what you will.
Dear Diary. Woke up last Monday morning feeling historic. Not for any specific reason. Not because it was my birthday or anything. Just a general sense that history is occurring and I’m at the centre of it. Which is correct. I’m the Prime Minister.
The Middle East is serious. I don’t know much about the situation, and I can’t decide which side is safe yet, but I’ve deployed military assets. Some people want to know what assets, going where, and doing what exactly. What I said to those people is “thank you.” Publicly. At a press conference. With flags. You don’t get more transparent than a public thanking with flags.
Penny was magnificent in Senate estimates. They asked if Australians were on the submarine that torpedoed that Iranian warship. She said that’s a matter for the United States. She just sat there. Looking fed up as usual. She’s like a very well-dressed wall that one. Unmovable. Magnificent. I sometimes think Penny would have made an excellent Prime Minister. Then I remember I’m the Prime Minister, which is better. And she knows that too. Boundaries.
Mark Carney came on Wednesday. He’s a good man. He doesn’t scare me. We signed heaps of minerals agreements. Between us we now have enough lithium to power the revolution. Well, the energy transition. It’s the same thing really. Spiritually. Mark looked at me in a funny way when I said that. He's a banker so he understands transitions. Maybe he doesn’t understand me. Or possibly he was blinking. Hard to tell.
He told me Donald Trump responds well to directness. I said “Mark, look, I’ve always been very direct with Trump.” He gave me that Canadian smile. Technically warm. But somehow slightly off. Like margarine. Maybe it’s the banker in him. I don’t know if I trust him actually.
Now, the dark forces thing. What I said was that Pauline Hanson appeals to our darkest forces. I wasn’t calling her supporters dark forces. I was identifying the forces. That happen to be dark. That’s grammatically distinct. And that’s important. Karl Stefanovic played the clip back to me and I explained this to him. Not in an arrogant and condescending way. In a factual way. He looked at the camera. I don’t like it when he looks at the camera. What’s his game anyway? I don’t know if I trust him either.
And now One Nation has launched merchandise. Dark forces merchandise. Star Wars themed. Jodie saw a bloke wearing a ‘Dark Forces’ hoodie at the IGA. I told her she should have engaged with him and explained the distinction. She ignored me and put the milk in the fridge. Sometimes a fridge door closing can be a complete sentence in our house.
And the week ended with a great night out at the Lakemba night markets - how good is Ramadan! Although I gotta say, I prefer a good Christmas ham. Spicy food gives me the runs. Make a note to NOT tell the mayor of Canterbury Bankstown. Because social cohesion. And votes. Salam alaykum.
On Sunday I had a long bath and thought about my legacy. About the forces of history. Which are not dark, but are complex. That’s an important distinction. And I am navigating them. Look, one day someone will write about this week and say, “Albo deployed the assets, signed the minerals deal, was misquoted by a has-been on a podcast, ate a few sambusas, and handled it all with considerable grace.”
They will say that. One day. Eventually. I’ve asked the office to start a file.
I remain, as always, on the right side of history. History has not confirmed this yet. But it will.
