Dearest brave heart,
Thank you for being here with me in this moment. In a world as noisy and demanding as ours, your presence is a gift.
So much competes for our attention, more than ever before, yet the beauty of this earth and the humans upon it is still as palpable and present as it has ever been. We just need to train ourselves to come back to what is quiet and true, rather than what is noisy and demanding, breath by breath.
I found myself sharing with Roberto a few days ago that with the ruptures and shifts happening globally right now, I am needing more quiet, prayerful meditation time. I noticed myself gathering 30, 60, or 90 extra seconds here and there. Not when life settles and offers them, but when I am at traffic lights, in a waiting room, or even when I go to the bathroom. Just a few extra breaths of peace to tuck away in my peace bank, to draw upon when needed.
Meeting here each week is one powerful way of living a ritual together. We commit to shared intentional moments, and as we repeat that ritual, we discover that our bones experience solace, connection, safety and trust.
We need rituals. It is how we have always belonged to each other. Remembering to infuse our day to day life with small rituals is how we continue to create meaning and live contented, purposeful, loving, and compassionate lives.
Rituals need not be fancy. It may be as simple as connecting here on Sundays with our substack, choosing your favourite cup for tea, or planting sweet pea seeds on Saint Patrick’s Day each year. As co creators of our destiny, we get to choose how we greet each moment and therefore how we sculpt the lived experience of our lives.
Creating reality is not some grand, humongous thing we do once, but rather the culmination of many tiny choices, hour by hour, season by season, breath by breath, as we live our way toward our final moments on earth.
After my family responsibilities had run their course this morning, braiding hair, work preparations, compassionate listening, offering reassurance, you know how it goes, I was able to return to my bed, the safest place for me on earth. Those of you with younger children will not yet know this becomes a possibility again, but I promise you that in time you will get more space to breathe easy and begin your wondering and pondering in new ways once more.
My deliberations this morning were about beauty, and how life sustaining and crucial it is for me to intentionally cultivate this in my day to day life. Not for show. Not for others. But simply to bring harmony into my own being (and therefore the world).
Creating beauty is a gift passed down through my maternal line. Not because these women were abundant, well resourced, or privileged, but because of the very real and survival based trauma, violence, and hardships they faced in day to day life.
The women who came before me knew that to survive in the face of extreme challenge, planting seeds, finding a flower and bringing it indoors, arranging your environment to reflect the beauty that exists alongside the challenge, offering and sharing what little food they had with others, made life a little easier for everyone.
When my mother took me home from hospital, we lived with my Nan and Grandpa. She was 17 when I was born. I will forever be thankful she gave me this life. When I was young, I never knew that my family was poor. I did not know basics like food and clothing had been hard for them. I did not know we lived in a housing commission house or that this meant anything bad to some people in the community.
I knew I was loved. That Nan and Grandpa were safe, solid, and reliable. That my mum loved me and that she was fun. That I had lots of aunts and uncles I adored who were always in and out of the house.
We had pets, a dog named Armstrong, a cat called Tiny, and a budgie that I begged my mum for (and that she accidentally let fly free from the cage). I remember her not wanting to get it. She told me birds were not meant to live in cages, but I did not yet understand what this meant. All I wanted was to be close to one of these magical flying creatures.
I would take his cage outside to the tank stand so he could be in the sunshine and fresh air. I did not want him to be sad living with us. I imagined his family could still visit him outside. I am not sure how many weeks passed before my mum held his little door open just a bit too long and he flew off into the willow tree down the back. But like me, he found his freedom too.
Helping Nan in the garden is part of my earliest memories. She loved geraniums, cannas, cosmos, and other flowers I cannot remember the names of anymore. Being immersed in this abundance for the first four years of my life led me to know I was rich, and you could not have convinced me otherwise.
As a grown up, I can tell you that Nan kept her home beautiful on the inside to help her navigate the chaos and trauma of her inner world. I cannot find anything wrong with this. Beauty helped her face impossible things. It can do the same for all of us.
Searching for and creating beauty, along with choosing to see beauty in unlikely places, are gifts each of us can bring to this world. They make a huge difference, not just to ourselves, but to everyone we come into connection with. Even those we may never meet can be impacted by entering environments or accessing creations we have made. I think of my book and oracle decks and the gifts they are.
Beauty makes hard things bearable. This is why we bring flowers when people die or when tragedies happen. We know we cannot change what is, but we can offer beauty alongside it.
I think of all the women in Ukraine and other war torn countries, like America right now, still planting seeds in their gardens. They do not plant because peace exists. They plant to help grow peace. They know that by bringing beauty, they change the world. To me, planting seeds, whether in hearts, minds, or soil, is one example of our individual power to bring change through beauty.
It is why I wear dresses and lipstick. To me they bring beauty, and beauty helps me stay anchored in compassion and peace. And besides these gifts, it simply helps me to breathe more easily, to rest within the overwhelm and uncertainty that is also part of a human life.
But none of this is what I came here to share with you today. It is a bonus ramble from my heart to yours. What I did want to share with you is this poem. I first came across it years ago when a mum from my girls’ school shared it.
I loved it, and it helped me rest into and trust the intentions I had for my own girls.
Do Not Ask Your Children To Strive….
* Poem: William Martin
Do not ask your childrento strive for extraordinary lives.Such striving may seem admirable,but it is the way of foolishness.Help them instead to find the wonderand the marvel of an ordinary life.Show them the joy of tastingtomatoes, apples and pears.Show them how to crywhen pets and people die.Show them the infinite pleasurein the touch of a hand.And make the ordinary come alive for them.The extraordinary will take care of itself.
The honest wisdom in this poem speaks for itself. I cannot add anything to it. What I would like to invite you to do is apply this wisdom to yourself. Not all of us here have our own children as part of our purpose in this life, although each of us shares the responsibility to love the world’s children and ensure we are creating a world worthy of them.
Please read this edited version of William Martin’s poem again, with a lens of applying it to yourself. I have replaced “them” with “yourself” for ease of reading.
Do not ask ‘yourself’to strive for an extraordinary life.Such striving may seem admirable,but it is the way of foolishness.Help yourself instead to find the wonderand the marvel of an ordinary life.Show yourself the joy of tastingtomatoes, apples and pears.Show yourself how to crywhen pets and people die.Show yourself the infinite pleasurein the touch of a hand.And make the ordinary come alive for yourself.The extraordinary will take care of itself.
I encourage you to remove beauty from the ‘surplus’ list of your life, to be actioned only when time and means allow, and instead find ways to bring it close to you, moment to moment, every single day, in ways that are meaningful and supportive for you.
None of us will share the same views, understandings, or preferences for beauty, and thankfully we do not need to.
What we do share is an obligation to live a life that creates peace, harmony, compassion, and kindness for all, ourselves included. I am proposing that living beauty, and creating small everyday rituals for this practice, will not only change your life for the better, but will benefit many more beings than you can currently imagine.
We do not have to wait until we are travelling in Europe, with our dream partner, or living in our forever home to romanticise our beauty filled lives. We can, and must, begin today.
Homework:
No matter your current chapter or circumstances, take time to photograph or pause and capture within your being some small everyday moments that already bring beauty, peace, and contentment to your life. Things you may forget to be grateful for but would miss terribly if they no longer existed.
Moments I have paused upon this week include:
The light dappling through the trees.
The stars in the night sky.
My old peg basket that still holds pegs from my mum. Whenever I hang out clothes, I feel close to my mum and Nan. Washing is my favourite domestic duty.
My husband’s beard and the silver flecks that shine luminously like his heart in the morning sun.
The sound of my youngest daughter’s unbridled, joyous laughter soaking into our walls.
The honey brown ringlets framing my eldest daughter’s face as she contemplates deeply.
Our fully set table just before everyone sits to eat.
Confession: I often leave our family table and step into the kitchen after everyone has started dinner, just to sneak a look back at my family sitting together. Witnessing them sharing, eating, debating, laughing, this is all my dreams come true.
A table where we can all safely be who we are, disagree respectfully, laugh joyfully, share honestly, and rest in the warmth of safety is beauty beyond expression for me. Tears fall from my eyes as I type this and allow myself to fully take in that this is my reality. My eight year old self still cannot quite believe this is my life.
Pausing a moment in a photo, or simply in my being, is one of my favourite ways to romanticise my life. Of course, do whatever brings the most meaning to you. But remember to prioritise it this week.
So on that note, I am off, dear humans. I hope that this week you find the courage to keep creating beauty in this world, for yourself and others, and that you risk pausing to soak it in for a little longer than feels natural. Resting in beauty does not rob anyone of anything. It actually adds more of what the world is desperately hungry for.
Peace.
Compassion.
Unity.
Respect.
I vow to keep finding beauty, even in the least likely places, and I intend to keep writing to you about it every Sunday of my life.
With love, beauty, and a squishy hug for all who need one,
kmf xo
© Kate M Foster. All rights reserved. An Invitation To Trust™
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