What I thought would be small talk turned into soul talk. In the middle of my self-judgment explaining this and that, defending what didn’t even need defending I was gently stopped in my tracks.
I was reminded that it’s time to lift my self-esteem, to remember that I am everything, and to shift my frequency from “Can I?” to “I can.” That one little shift opens the door I’ve been waiting on all my life: the door to using my voice without apology.
The Voice vs. The Inner Critic
That nudge I received reminded me that lifting my self-esteem starts with listening to my voice not my critic. Self-judgment has a way of stealing your voice before you even open your mouth. The critic in your head rehearses failure before you’ve even tried. But the truth is, the voice inside you is not fragile or faint it is steady, undeniable, and waiting for you to stop second-guessing it.
Trying on Beyoncé’s Dress
Not long ago, I laid my dream in the hands of someone who carries the rare gift of translating visions into truth… this dream was about me trying on Beyoncé’s dress. In the dream, she was furious that I dared to wear it. But the interpreter looked at me and said: “The dress fits you too. You need to wear it.” And for my brothers listening, maybe it’s not a dress maybe it’s a crown, a suit, or even a pair of boots. But whatever your version is, it fits you too.
But that was a wake-up call. Brilliance isn’t reserved for a chosen few. Fame, worth, beauty, power… these aren’t crowns placed on just one person’s head. They’re a constellation. There’s enough starlight to go around.
And if the dress fits, you put it on.
Self-Esteem as a Muscle
Confidence isn’t something you stumble across on a lucky day. It’s something you build, like muscle. Each time you speak up, that’s a rep. Each time you quiet the critic and move anyway, that’s another rep. Over time, you get stronger.
Every time we wear our dress, speak our truth, or face the mirror, we build that muscle. And the best part? No one else can build it for you. It’s yours.
Humor in Self-Judgment
Let’s be honest: half the time, the things we beat ourselves up over are things no one else even noticed. If self-judgment burned calories, I’d be a supermodel by now.
But all that overthinking only proves how creative we already are. Imagine if we turned that same energy toward building ourselves up instead of breaking ourselves down.
Embracing the Shadow
One of the most profound lessons I’ve been learning is this: you can’t truly love the light without embracing the dark. There’s a side of you the side you hide, the quirks, the impulses, the fears that you might not even like. The side you push away, pretend doesn’t exist, or apologize for. That’s your shadow, and it’s not the enemy.
Think of it like a wardrobe. You wouldn’t throw out half your clothes just because one jacket is a little worn or a color is offbeat. Each piece has a story. The same goes for your inner world: your shadow isn’t a mistake it’s part of the design. When you tuck it away or ignore it, you lose the harmony of the outfit. But when you accept it, when you truly see it and let it coexist with your light, you create a balance that is uniquely yours and utterly magnetic.
In relationships, this becomes a game-changer. When you’ve done the work to integrate your shadow, you don’t project it onto someone else. You can navigate connection without fear, without defensiveness. And when both people are doing this? That’s when relationships flow smoothly not because everything is perfect, but because both people have made peace with all the pieces of themselves.
There’s a little humor in it too: embracing your shadow is like discovering that your “bad habit” is actually a hidden superpower. The side you’ve been whispering “ugh, why me?” about might just be the part of you that turns ordinary moments into magic.
Urgency for Growth
Here’s one thing about me: whenever I notice something I need to improve on, I don’t sit on it. I jump on it like it’s life or death. I start hunting for the statement, the truth, the affirmation I need to shift into, and once I find it, I don’t just say it. I embody it. Immediately.
That’s part of why my music catalogue is so big. The ability to create songs, even with platforms that let me source singers, has been a gift from my angels a tool in my transformation. Whenever I claim a new affirmation, I put it into a song. Music is frequency, and by putting my truth into melody, I make it real. I play it on repeat until it’s etched into my DNA. And then something beautiful happens: the song shifts. Once I’ve embodied it, the song no longer carries the same weight, because I’ve already become what it was teaching me. That’s when I move on to the next.
Each song, each affirmation, is like putting on my dress it fits, and it’s mine.
Owning the Stage
Whether it’s a microphone, a boardroom, or just your living room, the moment you open your mouth, you’re the main act.
You don’t need anyone else’s stamp of approval. You don’t need a golden ticket. You are the stage, the spotlight, the sound. When you show up as you, that’s the show people came for.
The Frequency Shift
I’m learning that self-esteem is really just tuning in. Like a radio dial, the signal is already out there, but you have to adjust until you hear yourself clearly.
The shift is simple: from “Am I allowed?” to “I am.” From “Can I?” to “I can.”
Once you hear it, once you catch your own frequency, you realize the voice was never lost. It was just waiting for you to tune in.
Endless Expansion
If there’s one thing I know for sure, it’s that I will never cap out on growth. I will never stop learning, expanding, and improving. That’s part of the beauty of being human we are always becoming.
And I am here for it. Every single time.
Closing
So here I am, standing tall in my own dress, turning the dial to my own frequency, and finally saying it out loud:
I can. I am. And the dress fits me too.
And to the wise soul who crossed my path and sparked this nudge, this blog, and this song thank you. May your light never dim, and may it keep guiding others the way it guided me.
May the wisdom within guide you, the freedom within carry you, and the love within remind you….it is already done!
—Renee’
