Thanks for killing 30 million trees a year. Jesus must fucking HATE pine trees!
A friend of mine sent a comical photo of Santa Claus decked out in his most aggressively red holiday splendor, complete with the letters “Santa” misspelled by some Asian marketing bro as the name “Satan.”
At first, I didn’t think much of it. Then, as one of our kids planted her ass on our couch and waited for someone to bring her stack of presents, I realized what a horrible, disgusting, and embarrassing display of greed and entitlement the Christian celebration of its savior’s birth has become.
So saddle up, heat up a warm cup of brandy and milk, because you’re fixin’ to need it, and listen to our twisted take of the modern day history of Christmas.
