Every year I hit a point where I get really introspective about my artistic expression and ask myself “what the fuck am I even trying to say?” And every year, I am reminded that the only one in my way is me.
I question what medium is mine, writing, painting, charcoal? I question if I can even consider myself an artist and what that means if I can or cannot.
I go down this shame spiral thinking of all the amazing painters and how my art is no where near theirs.
And then I realize there are no rules.
What you believe makes an artist, is what you will compare yourself to. Like if I think about the artist version of myself, what does she do in a day? What does she like? think about? What are her values?
Believing that version of you exists and that you are taking steps to being that version is most of the battle. It’s not delusional per say. It’s more like building your trust in yourself. It helps that I believe in infinite timeline theory and that all versions of me are out there, in the ether, waiting for me to put their coat on.
Today, that cycle was podcasting. Tomorrow, it may be painting.
But, this is just an episode to remind you to trust your cycle and trust that your art does not have to be a daily practice and you don’t have to pigeonhole yourself into one style.
Book mentioned: Range by David Epstein
Study on women’s brain: https://www.washingtonpost.com/wellness/2023/11/30/women-brain-menstrual-cycle-changes/
