Content Warning: This episode contains honest talk about suicidal thoughts. Please take care of yourself while listening. If you’re struggling, resources are linked below. 💗
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988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline
What this episode is about:I open up about the night I hit my lowest point — alone, broke, and ready to give up. I share the breakdown that changed me, the trance that revealed how my craving for validation started, and the moment I felt God’s presence show up in my darkest hour. This is the raw beginning of my healing journey.
Key Moments:
* Nervous but excited intro — why I started this podcast
* My breakdown night: “How did I even get here?”
* Flashback to 2020 — money highs, bad decisions, and crashing out
* The ultimatum I gave God… and how He showed up anyway
* Trance/flashback to childhood bullying and my need for validation
* Realizing how seeking outside approval shaped my choices
* Choosing change: prayer, unplugging, and facing myself
* Shadow work humor (“walking cheesecake” era)
* Lesson: being real about your feelings is the start of healing
Takeaways for You:
* Validation won’t heal you — only truth and self-love will.
* Healing doesn’t look pretty. It’s messy, embarrassing, and hard.
* God shows up even when you think He won’t.
* Your inner child needs love, not punishment.
Reflection Prompts:
* When was your moment of “How did I even get here?”
* How has the need for validation shaped your choices?
* If you could comfort your younger self today, what would you say?
Resources:
* US: Call or text 988 for the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline
* Text HOME to 741741 to connect with Crisis Text Line
* International: Check iasp.info
