THE FORGE SUMMER CHALLENGE
We are wrapping up week two of eleven of The Forge Summer Challenge. It is not too late to join the challenge and take some ground this summer. There have already been some really great wins from some of the guys participating. Here is how it works:
Every Monday a new challenge drops, free for everyone. One rule: don’t do it alone. Find your wingman and tell him you’re doing it together.
We have a more intentional version for our paid subscribers to the blog. They get the full cohort experience complete with accountability, a private community chat, and biweekly Zoom calls to work through it together. You can become a paid subscriber here: Subscription Options
Either way, let us know you’re in.
Join the Summer Challenge by clicking HERE
June is Men’s Mental Health Awareness Month. I couldn’t let the month slip by without bringing some thoughts around this topic. With a lot of focus already on counseling, therapy, and the like…I want to bring some simple action steps that can help us men. I believe what we discuss today can help us get moving and get out of those season of being “in a funk.”
The man sitting across from me hadn’t been sleeping well. Wasn’t eating right. Couldn’t remember the last time he worked out. He’d withdrawn from his wife. He wasn’t reading Scripture anymore. He wasn’t meeting with the guys. He felt like he was floating in empty space.
When I asked him what was going on, he was honest. “I just don’t have the energy for any of that right now.”
And he meant it. Not as an excuse but as a lived reality. The idea of getting out of bed and putting on shoes and going to the gym felt like asking the impossible.
So I asked him a different question.
“If you did have the energy, would you want to?”
He sat for a minute. “Yeah. Actually I would.”
This is pretty common for a lot of guys I know and I have found myself in that place more than a few times. Some may call it being in a depressive state, lack of motivation, or “in a funk.” Almost like you are trying to run in the mud. Whatever you want to call it, there are many men living in this reality unnecessarily.
One of the cruelest tricks depression plays is convincing you that the very things that would help you require too much. Too much effort. Too much energy. It seems too demanding when you’re already running on empty.
But here’s what you probably already know from your own life. You didn’t feel like going to church last Sunday. Didn’t feel like showing up to small group. Didn’t feel like working out. Didn’t feel like pursuing your wife. But you did it anyway. Or maybe you pushed through it. And the moment you got there, something shifted. By the time you left, you felt better. More solid. More like yourself.
You know this is true because you’ve lived it.
The lie is that energy comes first. That you need to feel motivated before you move. That if you don’t have the fuel in the tank right now, you can’t afford to spend it. So you wait. You conserve. You tell yourself that once you feel better, once you have more energy, then you’ll do the things that matter.
But that’s backwards.
What actually happens is the opposite. When a man stops moving, stops connecting, stops creating, his energy decreases. The withdrawal becomes the drain. Inactivity feeds the emptiness. And he sits there exhausted, waiting for energy that will never come because the very things that would create it are the things he’s abandoned.
It’s a trap. And the only way out is to do the thing before you feel like doing it.
You already know this works. You’ve felt it. A guy says, “I didn’t feel like coming tonight,” and then he shows up and by the end of the night he’s telling you, “Man, I’m so glad I came. I feel so much better.” Many times that’s how your body and your mind actually work.
The moment you move, the energy follows. The moment you connect, the weight feels lighter. The moment you create or build or work toward something, you remember that you’re capable. That you’re not finished. That there’s still fuel in the tank.
WHY THIS MATTERS MORE THAN YOU THINK
There’s a reason this works, and it’s not complicated. When you move your body, you elevate dopamine and serotonin levels. Your mood actually shifts and your outlook changes.
When you eat well and sleep well, you stop lying to yourself. Hunger and exhaustion will tell you everything is hopeless. Feed yourself. Sleep. And then assess. The hopelessness was real, but it was incomplete information.
When you connect with some close friends, when someone knows you and expects you somewhere, you’re not just getting support. You’re interrupting the isolation that feeds the darkness. You’re proving that you’re not alone in this.
When you pursue your wife, when you let her back in, the intimacy produces oxytocin. It steadies your nerves. It reminds you that you’re loved and you’re not fighting this alone.
When you do something with your hands, when you complete something difficult, you prove to yourself that you can still do hard things. That you’re still capable. That you’re not broken.
These aren’t luxuries. They’re load-bearing. They’re structural. Men who slowly let them coast to a stop in their lives are at a greater risk of living in that “stuck” place.
SO HERE’S THE THING
This is not a replacement for counseling. If you need professional help, get it. Not everything is fixed with what we are about to unpack. However, there are many issues and mindsets in a man’s life that can be dramatically improved just by implementing a few simple steps.
So take this as permission to consider something you probably already know: some of the simplest things in your life, the ones you’ve abandoned, are exactly what you need to get unstuck.
And you don’t have to feel like it first.
You just have to move.
Let me name five in no particular order.
1. MOVE YOUR BODY
Men who exercise regularly are significantly less likely to develop depression or anxiety. Those who get at least nine hours of exercise per week see a 25 percent reduction in depression risk. But even a few hours a week shows measurable impact.
You don’t have to run a marathon. You don’t have to have an expensive gym membership. A brisk 30-minute walk, four times a week, is a great place to start. The bar is lower than you think.
What matters is that you do it before you feel like it. Because the moment you move, the physiology shifts. Your mood lifts. Your perspective changes.
2. EAT AND SLEEP LIKE IT MATTERS
I always found this to be a really interesting account in the Bible. Elijah was a prophet. He’d just defeated 450 prophets of Baal in front of the entire nation. Cosmic stakes. Total victory. And what did he do? He ran and hid from Jezebel. He felt all alone and even said he wanted to die.
Most of us would call that a spiritual crisis. And it was. But look at what God did first.
He didn’t rebuke him. He didn’t tell him to snap out of it. Elijah took a nap and God sent an angel who said, “Get up and eat.” The angel brought some cakes and water. Elijah ate and slept. Then when he got up from his nap, he ate again. Scripture says he went in the strength of that food for 40 days! Now, we may not have access to whatever heavenly cakes those were but I believe that there are a lot of issues that we can solve with a good meal and a nap.
God knew something we seem to have forgotten: hunger, exhaustion, and physical depletion will lie to you. They will tell you that everything is hopeless. They will make you believe you’re finished.
So feed yourself. Sleep. Then recenter your mind on reality.
If you’re in a funk right now, look at what you’re eating. Are you eating well or settling on whatever’s easiest? Is drinking alcohol a bigger part of your life than you’d like to admit? Are you staying up late scrolling instead of sleeping? These can be symptoms. And they’re also things you can change today.
3. CONNECT WITH YOUR BROTHERS
Working with and leading men over the years, I have noticed a really disturbing trend. A vast majority of men do not have close friendships. The type of friend you can call at 2AM when your life falls a part. Or a friend that will help you hide a body, no questions asked. Just kidding…kind of.
This leads to a deep loneliness in the heart of a man. The loneliness is not just unpleasant. It is catastrophic for your mental health.
It is almost cliché but it is so true. You were not made to do this alone. You need someone who actually knows you. A brother. Someone who knows what you’re carrying. Someone in your corner.
If you don’t have that, it needs to be your priority. Find a church. Find a small group. Find a guy who you can be real with. Show up. Be honest. Let yourself be known.
Accountability and vulnerability are not burdens. They can be a lifeline.
4. RECONNECT WITH YOUR WIFE
Outside of the Holy Spirit, intimacy in your marriage can be the source of your greatest strength. When God said “It is not good for man to be alone”, He knew what He was talking about.
Physical connection with your wife produces oxytocin. It steadies your nerves. It produces dopamine. It lifts your mood. And there’s also the simple reality that when a man withdraws from his wife, when he stops pursuing connection and intimacy, he loses one of his primary sources of resilience.
When you’re in a hard season mentally, your instinct is to isolate. Without intentional communication in those seasons, your wife interprets that as rejection and the distance grows.
You have to fight that pull to withdraw. Fight that instinct to turn inward and isolate. Fight for date night without the phones and without talking about the kids. Fight to make physical intimacy a regular rhythm of your marriage.
5. DO SOMETHING WITH YOUR HANDS
There’s something that happens in a man when he makes something or fixes something or builds something. When he completes something big or small. When he moves from nothing to done.
This can be literally anything. Carpentry. Gardening. Cooking a real meal. Fixing something around the house that’s been broken. Creating. Working.
We tend to live more in the digital world. Many men today do not produce something physical when it comes to their work. Stock trades, spreadsheets, paperwork, contracts. So much of what we do isn’t actually physical. But when you work with your hands, you get out of your head and into the physical world. You engage with something real and that has a way of grounding you that theoretical or digital falls short on.
Now I am not saying you need to quit your job and go dig ditches or lay bricks. But finding a way to build something physical with your own two hands may break you loose of the funk when you find yourself in it.
SO WHAT NOW?
If you’re in a mental health crisis, or if you’re having thoughts of harming yourself, call the suicide prevention hotline at 988. Get professional help today. There is no shame in that.
But if you’re stuck. If you’re in a funk. If you’ve drifted into withdrawal and you’re waiting for motivation to come back, the news is good.
You don’t have to wait.
The energy is already available to you. It doesn’t come from thinking differently first. It comes from doing something different. It comes from moving when you don’t want to. From eating well when fast food is more convenient. From reaching out when isolation feels safer. From pursuing your wife when distance feels like the standard. From creating when consumption has been the default.
Action first. Energy second. That’s the formula.
And every single one of these things is already in your hands.
THIS WEEK
Pick one area. Just one. And get moving. Don’t let your lack of energy keep you from taking action. Remember that many times, the energy from the activity comes after you start it.
Pick the one that you actually think is the hardest, and do it before you feel like it. Move your body. Eat something real. Text your brother. Ask your wife on a date. Make something with your hands.
When you do, pay attention to your energy, mood, and outlook on life. Take note of how it shifts.
Let’s get moving.
Want more content like this? You can find all of our content and resources here:
The Forge exists to provide deep brotherhood, essential tools, and focused coaching so that every man can run with clarity, live with intention, and fully become the man he was designed to be. That’s the mission behind everything we’re building here. We’re creating a place where men can grow, get sharpened, and take real steps toward becoming the man God called them to be.
If this content hits home for you, share it with another man who needs it. And if you want to help support what we’re building so we can keep creating resources, coaching, and tools for men, you can do that below.
Every share and every ounce of support helps move this mission forward. Thank you!
Contact Gabe: gabe@theforgemen.co
