Self-Clearing Card:
Abandonment:
Unpacking the Energy:
When you are triggered by the energy of abandonment - you are in some way afraid that you will be left behind. This could be by a person, a group, or even yourself. Sudden changes or new ways of thinking, being or acting can trigger abandonment.
Example: Someone you’re close to- like a partner or friend does something that isn’t in alignment with what you typically expect from them and it triggers abandonment. You have a thought that surprises you because it’s not something you have ever thought and it challenges what you have known and what feels safe to you to invite in new possibilities. You could feel like you are abandoning an old way of thinking or being and that feels terrifying because it’s all you’ve ever known.
The impact of this Energy: Operating within Abandonment energy can negatively impact your current relationships to the point that you are constantly acting from a place of worry that someone will leave or ‘ghost’ you or that someone will see or suspect the parts of you that you abandoned out of fear of letting your whole self be seen.
Getting to the root of the Energy:
Ask yourself the following questions & journal or talk it out with a Therapist, a Healer or someone you trust:
Did I ever feel abandoned as a child? By who? How did that shape me? My Core Beliefs?
Did I feel abandoned as a teen or young adult? By who? How did that shape me? My Core Beliefs?
Have I ever abandoned myself? What parts of me did I shove down or abandon because I felt I had to?
What does abandonment energy look like in my daily life? How does it affect my relationships with others? With myself?
What would my life be like if it wasn’t dominated by abandonment energy?
Self-Renewal Card:
Self-Love
Unpacking the energy:
You have pulled the card of self-love as your self-renewal card: your energy field is receiving this particular energy so that it may guide you forward by informing your thoughts, and your actions. It is meant to serve as energetic support and medicine after the clearing away of the discordant energy in your subconscious mind through the self-clearing card we received.
The energy of self-love will guide you forward now.
Example of how this energy can show up in your life: Maybe you are a person who always shows up for others in ways and in times that win you major gold stars in relationships. Maybe at this point you are fatigued from always being there day and night for the same people. You acknowledge you have a need now and no one is there to meet it for you. Your relationship with yourself feels bone-dry because you have given all you have to the people in your life. The people in your life have learned that you are there for them but since you have never asked them to be there for you, they don’t even know what that looks like and now you feel abandoned by them when they were never there to begin with because you always abandon yourself to show up for them. You feel resentment and bitterness and you are being invited to ask yourself if that resentment and bitterness is for the most part at yourself for abandoning yourself as a default pattern to receive love from others. The energy of self-love is calling you forward for healing now.
The impact of this energy: When you live in a constant cycle of self-abandonment, your self love is depleted. It can be difficult to attract relationships where there is any reciprocity whatsoever when you live in a perpetual state of abandoning your own needs for others. You can be exhausted, irritable, and anxiety-ridden when you are only focused on doing for others.
Getting to the root of the energy:
Ask yourself the following questions & journal or talk it out with a Therapist, Healer, or someone you trust:
What does self-abandonment look like for you? Recall what the cycle looks like for you and write it out. Example: someone calls and complains they need something and don’t have time/energy to do it and you automatically volunteer for the job.
Would you want others to abandon themselves for you just as you have abandoned yourself for them? Close your eyes and consider: Is that really what you want? Or would you rather everyone stop abandoning themselves for each other and see what kind of experience that creates? Take time to reflect upon what all of this feels like when you imagine it.
Can you recall an act of self-love that you gave to yourself? If so when was it? What was the act? How did it feel to show yourself love? If you cannot recall any act of self love you have ever given yourself-ask yourself what that would look like if you made space to try. Make a list of acts of self love you would like to give yourself. Remind yourself that switching to honoring yourself instead of ignoring yourself is a major shift and resistance to the shift is normal and can take time and practice.
Can you put a self-love date on your calendar this week? Commit to asking yourself what you need and setting aside the time to give it to yourself this week and sticking to it regardless of who asks you to show up for them at that time. Keeping one promise to yourself that honors what you need is a beautiful step on your self-love journey.
