In this episode of Lead to Soar, Michelle Redfern and Mel Butcher take on one of the most persistent and damaging stories in women’s leadership: the so-called “Queen Bee.”
This is not an episode about labelling women as the problem.
It’s about examining why women in power are judged through a different moral lens, why survival behaviours are framed as character flaws, and why organisations are far more comfortable blaming individual women than redesigning broken systems.
Drawing on listener questions, lived experience, and feminist analysis, Michelle and Mel unpack how the “Queen Bee” narrative emerged, why it sticks, and who it really serves.
They challenge the expectation that women leaders must be endlessly generous, emotionally available, and self-sacrificing in ways men are never required to be. They also interrogate the cultural scripts that celebrate men for ambition while punishing women for the same behaviour.
This conversation is candid, reflective, and intentionally uncomfortable at times. It explores how scarcity, bias, and institutional design shape behaviour at the top, and why blaming women distracts from the real work of changing how leadership systems operate.
In this episode, you’ll hear:
Why “Queen Bee Syndrome” is a misleading and lazy diagnosis
How gendered double standards distort how leadership behaviour is judged
Why women are expected to fix systems they did not design
How survival strategies get reframed as moral failure
What it costs women when organisations personalise systemic problems
A reframing for leaders and organisations:
If you want more women supporting women, stop rewarding scarcity, competition, and assimilation.
If you want ethical leadership, stop holding women to higher behavioural standards than men.
If you want change, redesign the system instead of blaming individuals inside it.
This episode is for women who’ve been harmed by these narratives, and for leaders who are ready to question why they persist.
If this episode was useful, there are three simple ways to go further:
Subscribe on Substack
This is now the home of the Lead to Soar podcast. Subscribers get new episodes, curated guidance from the back catalogue, and written insights to help you navigate leadership and career decisions with sound judgement.
Explore the Lead to Soar Network
Lead to Soar is a leadership development network for ambitious women and for organisations serious about closing the leadership gender gap. Members get access to group coaching, practical leadership tools, and a network of women who are actively working on their careers. Explore
Share the episode
If this resonated, share it with a colleague, manager, or friend who might need it. Leadership is shaped by what we notice, name, and talk about.
