Card number one is Social Power. People hardly ever choose it because it feels like a villain’s card. The caption on the bottom says: “Control over others, dominance.”
Yeesh.
It’s not a card that made it to my top five. To be honest, it feels like the closest thing to a “negative value” in the deck. My instinct is to flick it off the table.
But that would be dishonest. Because Social Power has affected my choices. It has been central to my thinking, usually in times when I’ve felt out of control.
It’s easy for me to dismiss this card because I already have it. I am six feet tall. I am a man. I am a business owner. I am generally kind and broadly well-intentioned, but I cannot deny that I walk through the world with a backpack full of privileges I didn’t earn. When I walk into a room, I am often assumed to be “in charge” or at least “safe.”
That is Social Power. And it is a luxury.
I have people in my life—people I love deeply—who do not walk into rooms with that same luxury. I have friends who have to calculate their safety in spaces where I just breeze through. I have employees who look to me to handle the difficult conflicts because I have the “weight” to move the obstacle.
If I pretend I don’t have Social Power, I can’t help them. If I deny I have it, I can’t share it.
Social Power, it seems, must be tempered. When I think of the “Dominance” definition, I think of teenagers in high school, pushing and shoving to find their place in a community that feels scary. They stomp their way to the top because they are terrified of being athold the door open rather than letting it slam behind us. We can use our weight to scoot over and make room on the bench.
May we all grow in love for one another. May we stop pretending we don’t have pow the bottom. I watch this happen.
But there is another way to hold this card. We can hold it like a shield. We can use our power not to control others, but to protect them. To open doors. To absorb the shock so the people behind us can rest. We can use our weight to hold the door open rather than letting it slam behind us. We can use our weight to scoot over and make room on the bench.
May we all grow in love for one another. May we stop pretending we don’t have power, and start asking better questions about who we are spending it on.
