Three stories.Three minutes.No filler.
🎧 Listen to today’s Snark Factor 3 in 3 above.
Transcript
[0:00]Three stories.Three minutes.Let’s go.
A senior Russian official says Greenland could vote to join Russiaif the U.S. doesn’t move fast enough.
Greenland.Population: about 55,000 people.
Which means global superpowers are now eyeing land dealswith roughly the same headcountas a good county fair.
The official said this was based on — quote — “unverified information,”which is a bold phrase to usewhen you’re talking about international borders.
Nothing screams serious geopolitical strategylike, “trust me, I heard a thing.”
[0:40]The World Health Organization says sugary drinks and alcoholare getting cheaper.
Not because they’re healthier.Not because they’re better for you.But because taxes haven’t kept up.
So soda, sweetened drinks, and cheap boozeare easier to buywhile healthcare systems pick up the tab later.
Which means the only thing inflating faster than pricesis regret.
And somewhere right now,a “healthy” bottled smoothieis quietly sweating.
[1:36]And finally.
A customer at a fast-food restaurant in Missouriallegedly threatened to kill employeesduring a refund dispute.
A refund.
The staff says the refund was already processing.And yes — one of the workers was a teenager.
If you’re threatening people over fast food,you’re not having a bad day.
You’re having a bad personality.
A refund should never requirepolice statements,press interviews,or a reminderto behave like a functioning adult.
Be normal.Be kind.Especially to the kid behind the counter.
This is the Snark Factor 3 in 3.I’m Fingers Malloy.Let’s talk tomorrow.
This episode of 3 in 3 is fueled by Substack.Find everything I do at FingersMalloy.com.
