Three Stories. Three Minutes.
Texas.
Cheese.
And a polite way to finish a sentence.
Today’s Snark Factor: 3 in 3 covers a renewed push to ban social media for kids under 16, a nationwide cheese recall upgraded to the FDA’s highest risk level, and a couple of FBI-style communication tactics that might actually be useful in real life.
It’s quick.
It’s practical.
And at one point, I tell you to stop chewing.
🎧 Hit play above.
Transcript
[0:00]
Three stories. Three minutes. Let’s go.
Texas has a lawmaker who wants to, once again, ban social media for kids under 16.
This comes from State Representative Jared Patterson out of North Texas.
He tried this last year.
It actually passed the Texas House.
Then it stalled in the Texas Senate.
Now he’s back in 2026, and this time the proposal is modeled after Australia’s law, which bans social media for kids under 16 entirely.
Supporters say this is about mental health.
About addiction.
And about kids being exposed to things they probably shouldn’t be.
Opponents say it’s a free-speech nightmare, an enforcement nightmare, and another example of lawmakers trying to solve parenting issues with legislation.
And that’s the part that always hangs in the air.
[0:54]
Because even if you like the idea —
even if you think social media is genuinely bad for kids —
newsflash, it is —
how do you enforce this
without turning every phone into a little digital ID checkpoint?
Are platforms checking birth certificates?
Are parents uploading documents?
Are we pretending kids won’t just… lie?
Because if the plan is “parents will monitor it,”
I have some expired Hotmail accounts I’d like to show you.
Alright — now check your fridge.
The FDA has upgraded a nationwide Pecorino Romano cheese recall
to a Class I recall.
That’s the highest risk category.
This recall involves grated Pecorino Romano,
including brands like Boar’s Head,
due to possible Listeria contamination.
[1:39]
So far, no illnesses have been reported.
But Class I means the risk is serious enough
that they don’t want you taking any chances.
And just so we’re clear —
that’s the FDA’s way of saying:
Stop chewing. Right now.
If you’ve got it at home,
don’t taste it.
Don’t see if it smells okay.
Don’t convince yourself it’ll be fine if it’s cooked.
Toss it.
Or return it.
Because nothing ruins a perfectly good week
like finding out your pasta topping
came with a bacteria bonus.
Let’s end with something actually useful.
There’s a piece making the rounds about FBI-style communication tactics
designed to stop people from interrupting you.
These are techniques used in high-stakes conversations —
interrogations, negotiations, tense meetings.
One is called the command pause.
[2:38]
You signal that what you’re saying matters…
then you pause.
Long enough to make people uncomfortable.
Long enough that nobody jumps in.
The other is called the power palm.
You calmly raise your hand — not aggressive —
and say something like,
“Hey, real quick — is it okay if I finish my thought?”
It’s polite.
It’s calm.
And it tells the room:
I have finished one thought in my life —
and I’m going to do it again today.
And honestly, we could probably all use that move once or twice a day.
That’s your three.
Three stories.
Three minutes.
This is The Snark Factor 3 in 3.
I’m Fingers Malloy.
Let’s talk tomorrow.
Sources
CBS News Texas — “North Texas lawmaker plans to pass law ban social media for children under 16”
Yahoo News — “Nationwide cheese recall carries risk…”
New York Post — “FBI communication hacks to stop anyone from interrupting you”
