Weekly Roast
* BRICS Unit: 100 tokens of pure hype
* IRIAS launches a “game-changer” with 100 Units – enough to cover a team pizza party, not topple the dollar.
* 40% gold-backed, 60% BRICS currencies? More like 100% backed by hot air and wishful thinking.
* Implications for BRICS: Mastering small-scale experiments while the dollar handles actual trillions.
* Implications for the West: The petrodollar yawns and rolls over.
* Cardano: The ghost chain of choice
* Picked for “7-second settlements” – bold for a pilot with zero transactions to settle.
* No wallet addresses, no on-chain proof – it’s like claiming you’re a crypto king but your ledger’s a napkin.
* XRP stans whining “Ripple would’ve been better!” – yeah, because banks occasionally use it, unlike Cardano’s BRICS fanfic.
* Implications for BRICS: Choosing Cardano is like hiring a mime for a hype video.
* Implications for the West: Crypto soap operas keep us entertained while SWIFT runs the show.
* Hype channels turning 100 Units into Armageddon
* Watcher Guru yelling “dollar dead!” over $8k worth of tokens – bold strategy for clicks, Cotton.
* ZeroHedge and Pepe Escobar acting like a Russian think tank just rewrote global finance.
* Robert Kiyosaki’s “bye bye USD” remix – same vibe as his Bitcoin-to-the-moon calls since 2018.
* Crypto bros like Digital Asset Investor and DePIN Connection swearing “this is crypto’s moment” – while the Unit’s got less action than a dead memecoin.
* Implications for BRICS: Your hype squad’s louder than your actual progress.
* Implications for the West: We’re just grabbing popcorn for this clickbait circus.
* Official silence louder than the hype
* No word from BRICS leaders, NDB, TASS, or Xinhua – because nothing official happened.
* Summits talked BRICS Pay and local trade – the Unit got the silent treatment it deserves.
* India/Brazil basically ghosting the whole “anti-dollar revolution.”
* Implications for BRICS: Even their propaganda machine knows when to skip the spin.
* Implications for the West: The bloc can’t coordinate a currency but somehow will end dollar hegemony? Sure, Jan.
* Gold bugs left holding the bag (of hype)
* BRICS “owns 50% of gold production” – cool, but the Unit’s gold wouldn’t fill a single Rolex.
* Value already wobbling because gold prices moved – so much for rock-solid stability! (Quick explainer: The Unit was initially pegged to ~1 gram of gold each. Gold spot price rose in November/December, forcing IRIAS to quietly adjust it down to ~0.9823 grams per Unit to keep the USD-equivalent value stable. If gold’s supposed to make it “unbreakable,” why’s it already needing tweaks? Classic volatility biting the hand that backs it.)
* 2028-2030 rollout? That’s code for “please keep watching our ads forever.”
* Implications for BRICS: Invented a currency smaller than most meme coins.
* Implications for the West: The dollar’s real threat is inflation, not this glittery sidequest.
* In a multipolar world, the BRICS Unit roast writes itself – a 100-token fantasy dressed up as a dollar assassin, with Cardano and XRP fighting for the scraps and clickbait channels fanning the flames. Stay grounded, folks – the real shifts are slow, not clickbait! 🌀
