We jump RIGHT in here - no introductions, no ceremony. Imagine you’re eavesdropping in on a *really* juicy conversation at the next table 😄.
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This was an utterly magical and deeply honest conversation with Jo Gifford - content marketer for changemakers and all-round wild soul.
In this episode we explore a lot around identity - especially what it means to be female, including the seismic shifts of motherhood and our monthly cycles. Together we share our own stories of struggling against “good-girlness”, “not-enoughness” and our previous disconnection from our bodies. As this interview took place just before the UK exited its 3rd lockdown in April 2020, we also dive into how that feels to re-emerge and reintegrate with the world, and Jo shares all the ways she is helping herself stay sane, grounded and committed to her daily adventure of becoming “more Jo”.
Jo is always such a delight to chat with and this convo delivers on all her key gifts of connection, not least her profound humility and ability to keep things utterly real! There is a tonne of magic in this episode. Grab a cuppa and some chocolate and tune right in :)
Check out the timestamps below for teasers!
Watch this episode on Youtube:
00:30 What would Jo’s 5-year-old self say about her now?
“You came back, you found the magic again!”
Magic, reality and perception - and the confidence of our younger selves.
03:15 Seeking approval and love and healing from that
“Undoing the good-girlness”
The journey through accumulating accolades to “enoughness” and beyond
05:30 Owning our adulthood and relinquishing the need for approval
The mirror of parenthood
“In my 40s is where I’ve really stepped into ‘This is who I am’”
07:20 The label of Motherhood and how it affects our sense of Self
“I feel like my identity was obliterated”
The rapid loss of structures, systems, support and feeling valued
09:40 “Oh wow! I’m invisible now!”
How we treat new mothers simply as carriers
The difficulty in talking about motherhood issues openly
12:15 The rapid identity shifts that take place as our kids grow up
“What it is to be a mum of tweens is completely different than it is to be a mum of toddlers”
“I’m relearning pieces of me again, but also letting go of that identity of motherhood in a different way”
13:40 Perimenopause and loss of Motherhood
“There’s a lot of hormones going on in everyone’s houses when that happens!”
Why is this not talked about?
14:50 The generational knowledge gap, and how misunderstood menopause really is
“This is a beautiful, sacred part of our feminine journey an even more badass, wiser version!”
Our feminine cycles are not supported in our society as standard, in any way
17:10 How and why Jo withdrew herself from the coil and how it affected her
“Then I got to my cycles again!”
The incredible power of self-knowledge and awareness around our cycles
19:40 Masking symptoms, disconnecting from our body and using the pill
“We were doing the best we could at the time, we were being responsible!”
How we can now model to our daughters the self-compassion we’ve learned the hard way
20:45 “Women are the gateway of life!”
Reductive notions of productivity and lists are not in alignment with our innate magic
22:05 What wisdom would Jo pass down to her girls?
“Trust when your body says no, trust when you have a gut feeling about something - trust your intuition because it’s there and it’s powerful”
The challenges of getting our kids to listen!
23:55 Embodying and modelling what our kids will absorb and remember
Gratitude journalling, tapping, breath-work, yoga and more
“Making stuff normal”
28:20 Owning our identity vs the challenges of parenting during lockdown
“I’m chronically desperate for my own space!”
Anxiety around reintegration with other people after lockdown
31:55 The Joy of Missing Out - freedom from obligatory trips, visits and meet-ups
“What shall we do at the weekend? Nothing! GREAT!”
Boundaries and making time to come back to ourselves
33:20 “Trees and nature are my mainstay. It just plugs us back in, to breathe a little bit on our own.”
Cold wild swimming as the most instant re-access to self
Centring through breathwork, journalling, immersion in nature and yoga, dancing etc.
36:05 Coping with the really heavy days: physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually
“What’s a little thing that I can do that might plug me back in?”
Tiny steps and talking kindly to ourselves
41:45 Setting yourself a timer to just let it out
“I’m gonna bawl and howl for ten minutes - I’m gonna let myself just go with it.”
Showing up in our entirety
44:05 What keeps Jo motivated to keep becoming more of herself?
“I’m loving and relishing the adventure of becoming more Jo - without social approval, pre-designed destinations or inheriting goals that aren’t mine”
Leaning into play and trusting to cycles
47: 00 “If I do the work - if I talk about that journey, that stuff in my own way - then maybe it serves a couple of people, and that is amazing”
Relating it all back to our cycles: “I can usually tell by my inner talk where I am in my cycle”
Losing faith and going into comparison, hustle mode and wanting to burn it all down
50:10 Normalising and modelling “social media fasting” for everyone
Bringing it all back to humanity’s core need right now
“People need space to be heard, to be witnessed: compassion”
You can connect with Jo here:
https://www.jogifford.co
https://www.instagram.com/thejogifford/
https://www.facebook.com/jo.jogifford
Find more about me at:
https://www.facebook.com/zoekmfoster
https://www.instagram.com/zoekmfoster
Get intimate with me in my studio! Join me Behind the Paint.
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