𝗕𝗢𝗨𝗡𝗖𝗘 𝗙𝗢𝗥𝗪𝗔𝗥𝗗
We hear a lot about resilience when life gets hard. Stay positive. Push through. Get back up. Bounce back. But during my Carrie Connects™ Podcast conversation with Peter Abrahams, founder of Dreams Alive, he said something that made me rethink that last one.
What if the goal isn’t actually to bounce back? What if we 𝗕𝗢𝗨𝗡𝗖𝗘 𝗙𝗢𝗥𝗪𝗔𝗥𝗗 instead?
Peter came to the show wanting to talk about resilience in real life, and I was especially interested in his story because sometimes the person teaching the lesson ends up having to practice it. That’s exactly what happened to him. After years of being extremely active, his body began changing what he was physically able to do. Then, just when he thought he was moving forward again, life handed him another setback.
I’m intentionally not telling you the whole story because I want you to hear Peter tell it. What interested me most wasn’t simply what happened to him. It was how those experiences changed the way he thinks about resilience.
𝗪𝗛𝗔𝗧 𝗗𝗢𝗘𝗦 𝗜𝗧 𝗠𝗘𝗔𝗡 𝗧𝗢 𝗕𝗢𝗨𝗡𝗖𝗘 𝗕𝗔𝗖𝗞?
When we tell someone to bounce back, we’re usually encouraging them to recover from whatever happened and return to where they were before. But Peter made the point that if we’re only focused on getting back, we can miss what the experience taught us.
I liked that because sometimes you can’t go back. You aren’t the same person anymore. Your circumstances may have changed, and you know things now that you didn’t know before. That doesn’t automatically mean something has gone wrong. Maybe the lesson gets to come with you. Maybe the experience gets to come with you. Maybe the progress you made before the setback still counts.
𝗠𝗮𝘆𝗯𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗻’𝘁 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿. 𝗠𝗮𝘆𝗯𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂’𝗿𝗲 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝗲𝘅𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲.
𝗥𝗘𝗦𝗜𝗟𝗜𝗘𝗡𝗖𝗘 𝗜𝗦𝗡’𝗧 𝗣𝗥𝗘𝗧𝗘𝗡𝗗𝗜𝗡𝗚
We also talked about something that tends to show up whenever people discuss resilience: positivity. There is nothing wrong with being positive, but there is a difference between optimism and pretending something doesn’t hurt.
I thought about losing my mother when she was only 39 years old. People would tell me it was going to be okay. I understood what they were trying to do, but in that moment, it wasn’t okay. Sometimes you don’t need somebody to immediately find the bright side for you. You need room to acknowledge what you’re actually experiencing.
Peter talked about allowing emotions to have a voice without giving them control of the wheel. That distinction stayed with me because acknowledging an emotion and surrendering to it are not the same thing. You can acknowledge that you’re afraid without allowing fear to make every decision. You can be disappointed without deciding you’ve failed. You can admit you’re overwhelmed without believing you have to solve everything today.
Sometimes the pause is part of resilience too. One of our viewers described it during the show as a “pause for a cause,” while another pointed out that pausing gives us clarity and room to respond appropriately. Y’all already know how I feel about clarity, but I think that’s especially important when we’re overwhelmed. Our first reaction doesn’t always have to become our next decision.
𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗗𝗢𝗡’𝗧 𝗡𝗘𝗘𝗗 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗘𝗡𝗧𝗜𝗥𝗘 𝗣𝗔𝗧𝗛
Toward the end of our conversation, Peter said something else that I think a lot of people need to hear: you don’t need to know the entire path. You just need the first step.
We make moving forward harder when we convince ourselves that we need to know exactly how everything is going to work out before we begin. Sometimes the better questions are much smaller. What is happening right now? What do I need? What can I actually do next?
That doesn’t only apply to recovering from a medical setback. It can apply when a career changes, a relationship ends, a plan doesn’t work, your finances aren’t where you expected them to be, or life simply looks different from the picture you had in your head. Moving forward doesn’t require having every answer first.
There was much more to my conversation with Peter that I’m intentionally leaving out. We talked about the “shoulds” we collect throughout life, the expectations we place on ourselves, the relationship we have with our emotions and what Peter means when he talks about “the art of being yourself again.” Most importantly, Peter tells the story that put his own beliefs about resilience to the test, and that story is better heard from him than summarized by me.
So when you watch the full conversation, think about whatever you’ve been trying to bounce back from. Maybe getting back to exactly who you were, where you were or how things used to be isn’t the only measure of recovery.
𝗠𝗮𝘆𝗯𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗱𝗼𝗻’𝘁 𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸. 𝗠𝗮𝘆𝗯𝗲 𝗶𝘁’𝘀 𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗕𝗢𝗨𝗡𝗖𝗘 𝗙𝗢𝗥𝗪𝗔𝗥𝗗.
🎙️ Watch my full conversation with Peter Abrahams, founder of Dreams Alive, on Carrie Connects™ Podcast. If somebody came to mind while you were reading this, share the conversation with them.
Coach Carrie💗
💙 𝗖𝗢𝗡𝗡𝗘𝗖𝗧 𝗪𝗜𝗧𝗛 𝗢𝗨𝗥 𝗚𝗨𝗘𝗦𝗧
Peter AbrahamsFounder, Dreams Alive
🌐 Website:https://dreams-alive.ca/
💼 LinkedIn:https://www.linkedin.com/in/peterabrahams
📘 Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61586537129964
📸 Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/dreamsalivecoaching/
Learn more about Peter’s work with Dreams Alive and connect with him after today’s conversation.
💗 𝗔𝗕𝗢𝗨𝗧 𝗖𝗔𝗥𝗥𝗜𝗘 𝗖𝗢𝗡𝗡𝗘𝗖𝗧𝗦™ 𝗣𝗢𝗗𝗖𝗔𝗦𝗧
Carrie Connects™ Podcast is where real conversations create real connections. Each week, Coach Carrie introduces you to people, stories, resources, ideas and opportunities she believes you should know about because sometimes one introduction can change the trajectory of your life.
💰 𝗦𝗣𝗢𝗡𝗦𝗢𝗥𝗘𝗗 𝗕𝗬 𝗚𝗥𝟴𝗙𝗜𝗡𝗔𝗡𝗖𝗘𝗦
Carrie Connects™ Podcast is sponsored by Gr8Finances, where confusion is expensive and clarity pays for life.
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