Resources mentioned: Valarie Kaur’sSee No Strangerbook and Revolutionary Love Project. My Changing Lives Zoom Community Gathering
Our personal wellbeing is affected by many factors. Some are beyond our control: adverse childhood experiences, unhealthy cultural norms, wars, global pandemics, etc.
But as adults we can control how we respond to events and circumstances that threaten our wellbeing. Broadly speaking, there are three possible responses.
* We can blame others and see ourselves as innocent and powerless victims.
* We can blame ourselves and decide we are weak or stupid and deserve to suffer.
* We can take responsibility for our behavior while also holding others accountable for theirs and working to change unjust laws and unhealthy systems.
The third option seems like the healthiest choice, but it my experience it’s also the hardest.
We can challenge and change negative beliefs about ourselves and others - I’ve done that and helped others do it - but it’s not easy. We can change our “default” responses - behaviors once essential to our survival but now harmful - to healthier ones, but it takes time, hard work, and ongoing practice.
There are no quick fixes, enlightened gurus with all of the answers, or guaranteed solutions, because we’re all imperfect humans.
But I believe that when we decide we’d rather get real than get revenge or get rescued, remarkable personal and social transformations happen.
So I’m creating an online community of people ready to have honest conversations about how current events are affecting us and what we can do to make our lives and the world better. Register here for our initial Zoom gathering on September 7.
