Do you make friends with your students? Is it a good idea or best avoided? What do you think? Leave a comment!
AI-generated transcript:
The last time the Bulletin, the newsletter that I write every Wednesday, I think it's number 24, the Bulletin 24, I talked about
How to Team Teach
friendly, I think, and less clinical, which I think is a personal bugbear of mine.
I think we are far too clinical, especially when teaching children.
So it's an element of sort of amateurism that I quite embrace, I think.
However, that got me thinking another aspect.
How far should you make friends with your students?
I guess the traditional answer would be, not at all.
Or, you know, be friendly, but not friends.
And that's, yeah, probably true.
I mean, certainly with kids, I am friendly with all the kids, but I wouldn't call them friends.
You don't want any misunderstandings.
There is a certain distance, naturally, between adult and child.
I think, kind of think that goes without saying, right?
Especially speaking as a bloke.
But really, I guess this applies to adults.
How friendly should you get with your students?
Again, I think there has to be a certain amount of distance.
Sorry, the windows are whistling.
It's a bit windy today as I record this.
I lost my train of thought there.
But yeah, you want to be friendly, of course, but not close, close friends.
If I think about it, you know, sorry, I should say what the reason for that, I mean, perhaps you know, but you know, if your friendship goes south, then you lose a customer.
And if you, or vice versa, you might lose a customer, and then you've also lost a friend.
and sometimes the two get muddled up together and you really shouldn't.
I think business gets in the way too much there.
I think, personally speaking, I think friends should be friends, business colleagues should be business colleagues.
But maybe that's just me.
But anyway, for a practical reason, you know, that's why it can be problematic.
Now, having said that, I do have some friends.
I mean, I occasionally go out for a drink with one or two ex-students, adult students.
They no longer come, but they came for two or three years or more.
And I occasionally see them and go out for a drink.
And that's fine.
And that's OK.
They're former students, adult students.
So they're more like neighbours, really.
So I don't see that as a problem.
I've taught their kids and I've taught them and now it's nice though because we're not obliged to spend time.
If we want to have a good time, we have a good time.
The other thing that happens, though, if you're overly friendly, it can affect your professionalism, and then you can't do what's necessary in the class because you think, oh, well, they're my friend, or they're the children of my friend.
I'm obliged to do something or not do something.
And that can interfere with the quality, and you don't want to do that.
So, that's really what I want to say about that.
So, yeah, be friendly, but don't be good, good friends.
Also, you want to have a bit of relaxation time, you don't want to feel that you have to speak in English with some of your friends from school.
It's a grey area and it becomes less enjoyable if it feels like you're just doing a free lesson with alcohol.
It's like, I don't really need that.
I Can Make My Own Friends and I Can Do The English Lessons When You're Paying Me
but otherwise I try not to get both to meet at the same time.
It can be tough, especially if you're in a small town or very tight-knit community, but I would advise against getting too close too soon and then realising, oh God, what a terrible mistake I've made.
It's a bit like going to college, you know, on the first day of college you spend the time meeting everybody you possibly can and then the rest of your days at college trying to avoid them
It's a bit like that.
So my advice, be a little bit standoffish and then warm up over time.
But maybe that's just my culture, my Britishness coming through there.
Maybe you're a naturally happier person than me and less cynical.
But, you know, you do you, I'll do me.
Anyway, that's all I've got to say about that.
Free Talk TEFL
News... what's it called?
News, not newspaper.
What do you call it?
Newsletter!
And every Monday is a free lesson trying to alternate it, not just kids but adults and high school and junior high school.
So have a check those out and there's a backlog.
If you click on any of these, I think if you go back, if you go to the website,
freetalktefl.com no no no no freetalktefl.substack.com you can find all of this all of this stuff and please use it and let me know if you do I'll be interested to see what you think if it's useful or or not or whatever okay have a good one and I will talk to you again next week thank you bye bye
