Before You Call It a Boundary
What if what you’re calling a boundary is actually a conversation you haven’t been willing to have?
This episode of Tea With Keke started where some of my favorite conversations begin—in real life.
While sitting in my stylist Chrisey’s chair, we started talking about boundaries. That conversation stayed with me, so when I got home, I turned on the microphone and started talking.
No script. No polished talking points. Just me working through an idea that I think deserves a little more contemplation.
We hear so much about setting boundaries. And boundaries absolutely have a place. But I’ve wondered whether we sometimes reach for a boundary when what we really need is clarity about something else.
In this episode, I explore the difference between:
a core value—who I am and how I choose to show up
a conversation—communicating what matters instead of expecting someone to know
an agreement—what two people mutually decide to participate in
a boundary—what I will do when something is no longer workable for me
access—how much of my time, energy, and presence I choose to make available in a particular relationship
I also share a simple tool I’ve used with clients: thinking about relationships in terms of 20 seconds, 2 minutes, 2 hours, 2 days, or 2 weeks of access.
Because relationships don’t always have to be all or nothing.
Sometimes the question isn’t, “Do I need to cut this person out of my life?”
Sometimes it’s simply:
How much access to me is healthy for this relationship right now?
This is an intentionally unpolished episode. You’re hearing the thought as I was having it—the way you might if we were sitting together on my lanai with a cup of tea.
And maybe that’s the real invitation in this episode:
Before you call it a boundary, get curious about what you actually need.
Is it clarity?
A courageous conversation?
A mutual agreement?
A boundary?
Or simply a change in access?
Pull up a chair, pour yourself something warm, and join me for the conversation.
With a warm cup of tea and an open heart,Keke
