BACKKLASH OFFICE CHRISTMAS PARTY 2025 (FY2026) feat. Kellock & Hagalaz
We punched out, strung up the lights, expensed some top-shelf booze with the petty cash, and flung open the virtual office doors at BACKKLASH COMMUNICATIONS for possibly the most unhinged and heartfelt installment of our holiday tradition yet: the annual Backklash Office Christmas Party.
Poolhouse convenes a candid, intimate, and slightly feral three-way summit with returning favorite Kellock (last year’s Backklash Christmas Secretary, now promoted to Senior Director of Christmas Operations) alongside debut-time guest Hagalaz (officially appointed Christmas Secretary), to toast the end of a strange year and take stock of the culture at large.
What begins as forced corporate fun quickly descends into a revelrous—and revelatory—conversation on the true meaning of parasocial (the reason for the season?), New Normal consumer culture, the lost art of gift-giving in the age of instant gratification, algorithmic decay, media collapse, and why 2025 felt sweaty, floppy, and spiritually seventies. Along the way, the trio conduct a thorough excavation of pop as the new counter-culture: from inspired visionaries like Slayyyter and Addison Rae (the new punk?) to the unbridled excess of projects from Taylor Swift and Charli XCX.
It’s funny, tender, profane, and sincere. It’s about staying human, staying online (against your better judgment), and fighting backlash with BACKKLASH. Pour a refreshment, pull up a chair, and survive the office party with us.
Stick around ’til the party ends, and you might even hear from one of the hottest names in TakeSelling at the moment.
Merry Christmas—and a BACKKLASH New Year.
An Ice Reggae Festive Holiday Glittery Gif Cinema by Hagalaz! →
Follow Kellock, BACKKLASH Senior Director of Christmas Operations
Follow Hagalaz, BACKKLASH Christmas Secretary (FY25-26)
THE BACKKLASH YEAR-END SPECTACULAR!
BROUGHT TO YOU BY:
The Royal Charter of 1670 for Incorporating the Hudson’s Bay Company
…and the Byzantine Latino Quarter of Los Angeles! BACKKLASH stands with Latinbyz peoples worldwide !
BACKKLASH 2025 YEAR IN REVIEW MINI-ZINE
THEME OF THE YEAR: TOO MUCH SIGNAL! OR WAS IT ALL JUST NOISE?
The kind of year where Candace Owens can emerge as the most coherent-sounding voice in the room (but it was also a hot Widow’s media market kind of year). A lot is happening all the time, so much so that nothing ever happens. People either began to grow allergic to the toxic swarm of white noise and feedback (“social media” which is now just “the media.”), or they were drawn to its intoxicants and rendered deranged. There is no middle ground. You’ve either been made insane by the media you hold in the palm of your hand, or you were made insane because of it.
MEME OF THE YEAR:
Was this from this year?
2025 THE YEAR THAT…
…we Flopped Ungracefully (Miley, Lizzo, Doja..Poolhouse..)
…we Posted Manically And Maniacally
…we Defiantly Struggled To Stay Human
…we Tried (And Failed)) To Detach From The Mothership
…we Shed Dead Skin,
Focused On The Core,
Validated Ourselves Spiritually ,
And Now We Are Those Who Will Be Moving Forward In 2026
Because Of It.
Be the Queen Onijah You Wish to See in the World:
….2025 THE YEAR THAT…
…twitter Finally Became X (derogatory)
...We Entered Vibes-Based Death Spiral With The Algorithm/Octolectic. Song Of The Summer Futures Tanked And Monoculture Markets Fractured. Only Cringe And Flop And Sweaty And Slop Proliferated.
…we Confronted The Disembodiment Crisis Fuels -> Mass Sexual Alien Nation -> Which Manifested Itself As: Accelerating Cycles Of A Kind Of Compulsive, Empty Displays Of Thirst And Horniness (A Phenomenon I Call Hyper-Debasement, Or Mass Thirst Psychosis) Or Is Packaged As An New Media Intellectual Property(IP)Called “Birth Rates Crisis” , And Also A Lot Of Resentment And Sexual Hostility (Both Inter- And Intra)
…nihilism Went Mainstream - Not Just For Deranged Leftists Anymore! Maga Nihilism, Zio-Nihilism, Christian Nihilism. Nihilism Is A Godless / Anti Creation.
What Use Is There In Being A Nihilist Natalist, Anyway?
Nihilism? Why Not Try Smile-Ism?
Better Luck Next Year!
TAKING OUT THE 2025 TRASH (OVER IT):
I understand backlash against Katy Perry for Everything EXCEPT her Upper Atmosphere Trip on the Amazon Artemis or whatever(lets stop calling things “Space” when they are really just very far up in the sky??) - like she wasn’t even that weird about it and why aren’t we more mad at Gayle King considering how many bodies she’s helped bury for Jay Z, including Prince and Aaliya.)
Plenty of other reasons to hate on Katy Perry.
But honestly, I don’t think it is working. I mean, assuming your goal herel was to shame her into making hit records again, I have to say: it is backfiring. Have you tried forgiveness? Start with yourself. Forgiving Katy Perry will be easy after that.
Backlash Kulture is out of Control - everyone having some immediate knee jerk reaction to everything - usually based on NOTHING and / or totally bogus information or a boomeresque memepost or something a secretly gay right wing guy said on X dot com - has reached toxic out of control disgustingly dirty performative bitch behavior.
We are talking worse than the theater kid. We are well beyond that now. This is aspiring improv comedian levels of crazy.
Whatever the new thing is, people can’t wait to be against it. Did I stumble upon some subset of random people I dont even know enjoying some thing? Fuck that. I hate it and I hate them. dogshit mentality!
Then there’s the people who witness this and cannot wait to be all like “don’t you just hate people who are against everything all the time for no reason?” backlash against the backlash people. the worst!
SLAYYYS OF THE YEAR [2025]
SLAYYYS OF THE YEAR BOPS, BANGERS, AND JAMS
**Huge year for Mystery Meat / Mixed Race Supremacists who are also pop fans, like myself!
* KATSEYE, GNARLY [SONG + MUSIC VIDEO]
* LADY GAGA, DON’T CALL TONIGHT
Stefani didnt rip off Lionel Richie Tina Turner AND Daft Punk for u to hate like that
* JT, GIRLS GONE WILD
JT lets hit the Bad Bitch Bat Mitzvah circuit together!!
* LORDE, VIRGIN LP
shards of glass assembled into something elegant and stately but will jab u if mishandled
* LIZZO, MY FACE STILL HURTS FROM SMILING (Mixtape)
she jiggles here in a whole new way
* ADDISON RAE, FAME IS A GUN
the only truly iconic addison record, but boy oh boy, what a funky artifact! <3
* YE, HEIL HITLER* Bhad Bhabie - O.G. CRASHOUT
(the superior diss!!)
* PINK PANTHRESS, STATESIDE + ILLEGAL
* LOLA YOUNG, DEALER + NOT LIKE THAT ANYMORE
* SLAYYYTER, BEAT UP CHANEL$
Erika Kirk should hop on the remix!
Don’t forget to Stan Lizzo!
LIZZO - STILL BAD (Lizzo as MJ meets Meat Loaf meets..Grimes?)
Poolhouse On Pop:
PROGRAM NOTES
BACKKLASH OFFICE CHRISTMAS PARTY PLAYLIST
The Waitresses - Christmas Wrapping (12” Mix)
No Doubt - Oi! To the World (Vandals cover)
Rev Run feat. Puff Daddy, Mase, Salt N Pepa, Snoop Dogg, Keith Murray & Onyx - Santa Baby
Mariah Carey - All I Want for Christmas (So So Def Remix)
Slayyyter feat. Ayesha Erotica - All I Want for XXXMas
Jacob Miller & Ray I - Silver Bells (Natty No Santa Claus)
Allie X - Last Christmas (WHAM! cover)
Terror Jr. - Sad Sad Girl
