Hey folks, Jeff here with Adjust Accordionly—Episode 12: Make America Polka Again, squeezin’ through July 13th to 19th, 2025, with news that’ll make your bellows pump harder than Andy Byron’s Jumbotron grin! Biden’s autopen pardons flop like a Panican tantrum, Gabbard slaps Obama’s deep state with a Big Mike aloha, and Trump’s pending Epstein file drop has elites sweatin’ like Israel after bombin’ a Gaza church! SCOTUS greenlights Trump’s school cuts, Paxton jails quorum-dodgin’ Dems, and Elmo’s X hack tickles the third rail. This week’s polka’s got more zing than S&P’s record highs, and “Don’t Panic!” will have you dancin’ past the woke haze. Grab the lyrics, check the vids, subscribe, and let’s Make America Polka Again!
Polka Week in Review: July 13 to July 19, 2025
Polka week in review, July thirteen to nineteen’s news, Headlines pop, the polka’s hop, let’s light the fuse, From Trump’s big wins to Epstein’s sins, let’s go one-two-three, Grab your accordion, let’s set it, Adjust Accordingly!
Biden’s pardons, autopen fakes, oh what a sham! Trump guards Christians, stops bans, faith’s foes get slammed! Hamadeh blasts Powell’s Fed, globalists lose their grip, Elmo’s hacked, tickle-me slurs, Sesame in a whip! Musk’s tweets rile NASA’s wrath, SpaceX on the fence, Boebert wants Gaetz for Epstein’s files, Trump releases the defense!
Week’s a blast, news moves fast, polka’s got that zing! From MAGA’s might to deep state’s fright, let the tubas ring!
Hey, MAGA fumes at Trump, Epstein’s list stays hid, Ho, Trump’s Gaza peace talk shines, all the work he did, Stocks hit highs, S&P flies, Trump’s econ’s the song, Hey, Ho, Adjust Accordingly!
Trump cuts State Department bloat, diplomats hit the road, Paxton jails Dems for quorum dodge, sues trans swim’s woke code, Mexico sues ICE for Garcia’s trip, borders doing fine, Israel’s bomb hits Gaza church, their sorry’s just a line, Huckabee slams Israel’s Christian block, Bove’s Trump’s court pick, UK’s teen vote law, London free fall, the boxes they’ll tick!
Week’s a spark, lights up the dark, polka’s got that flair! From Trump’s bold fight to woke’s last night, news fills the air!
Hey, Salazar’s amnesty plan, similar surnames echo the same, Ho, Colbert’s show tanks, he’s out the door with no shame, Dollar shakes England’s banks, Europe’s being tamed, Hey, Ho, Adjust Accordingly!
Week’s a blaze, left’s in a haze, polka’s call is loud, With Trump’s strong hand, rules the land, troosters stand proud, With grit and might, we’ll win the fight, polka’s hearty sound, Dance to the news, accordion’s muse, let truth’s sound be found!
Hey, Gabbard nails Obama’s lies, deep state’s caught in a jam, Ho, SCOTUS frees Trump’s school cuts, feds lose their scam, Huckabee calls Israel’s bluff, Bove strengthens Trump’s gold ring, Gaza bombs to Epstein’s files, plan troosters all will sing, Drums and brass, guitar’s fast pass, our spirit’s never wrong, Hey, Ho, Adjust Accordingly!
Adjust accordingly!
News Headlines Covered: July 13 to July 19, 2025
* Biden’s Pardon Signatures Questioned for Autopen Use (July 13, 2025) Posts on X and a New York Times report confirm signatures on Biden’s January 19, 2025, pardons, including for Fauci and Milley, appear identical, suggesting autopen use. Critics slam it as a sign of Biden’s detachment and bureaucratic fraud.
* Trump Pushes Executive Order to Combat Anti-Christian Bias (July 13, 2025) President Trump announces an executive order to address perceived anti-Christian bias in federal policies, targeting regulations restricting religious freedoms. Supporters view it as defending traditional values; critics call it divisive.
* Hamadeh Demands Federal Reserve Chair Powell’s Resignation (July 13, 2025) Arizona Republican Abe Hamadeh calls for Jerome Powell’s resignation, citing the Federal Reserve’s inflation policies as harmful to American workers. He argues Powell’s tenure favors globalist interests over national prosperity.
* Elmo’s X Account Hacked, Posts Racist Content (July 13, 2025) The official X account for Sesame Street’s Elmo is hacked, posting racist messages before being taken offline. Sesame Workshop works to regain control, exposing vulnerabilities in public social media accounts.
* SpaceX Faces Federal Contract Review Over Musk’s X Posts (July 13, 2025) Biden administration’s outgoing NASA officials review SpaceX’s federal contracts, citing Elon Musk’s X posts as potential ethics violations. Conservatives decry it as a partisan attack on Musk’s free speech.
* Boebert Calls for Special Counsel on Epstein Files, Suggests Gaetz (July 14, 2025) Rep. Lauren Boebert demands a special counsel to investigate Trump’s handling of Jeffrey Epstein’s files, suggesting Matt Gaetz lead it. She argues the public deserves transparency; Trump rejects the idea.
* Trump Faces MAGA Backlash Over Epstein Files (July 14, 2025) President Trump faces criticism from his base for downplaying Jeffrey Epstein’s file release after the Justice Department claims no “client list” exists. MAGA supporters demand more transparency, suspecting an elite cover-up.
* Trump Proposes Gaza Ceasefire Framework (July 14, 2025) President Trump outlines a potential Gaza ceasefire deal, emphasizing U.S. mediation to ease tensions. Details are vague, with critics questioning its feasibility amid Israeli-Palestinian complexities.
* State Department Faces Significant Layoffs (July 14, 2025) The Trump administration initiates layoffs at the State Department, targeting career diplomats seen as loyal to globalist policies. Supporters praise streamlining bureaucracy; critics warn it weakens U.S. diplomacy.
* S&P 500 and Nasdaq Hit Record Highs (July 14, 2025) The S&P 500 and Nasdaq close at all-time highs, with the S&P 500 reaching 627.58, driven by tech and energy optimism. Trump supporters credit his economic policies; analysts note global market trends.
* Texas AG Paxton Threatens Arrests Over Democrat Quorum Dodging (July 15, 2025) Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton vows to arrest Democratic lawmakers fleeing the state to block quorum on voting legislation, echoing 2021 tactics. Conservatives hail it as upholding duty; opponents call it authoritarian.
* Mexico Files Lawsuit Against ICE Over Jamie Garcia’s Death (July 15, 2025) Mexico sues U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement, alleging negligence in the death of detainee Jamie Garcia. The case fuels debate over immigration detention conditions and U.S.-Mexico relations.
* Israel Issues Apology After Strike Hits Gaza Catholic Church (July 15, 2025) Israel’s government apologizes after a stray munition strikes the Holy Family Church in Gaza, causing civilian casualties. Netanyahu’s office calls it a tragedy; critics demand accountability for targeting errors.
* Mike Huckabee Alleges Israel Discriminates Against Christians (July 15, 2025) Former Governor Mike Huckabee claims Israel’s policies restrict Christian religious practices, citing access issues to holy sites. Some conservatives back his call for reform; others defend Israel’s security measures.
* UK Approves Voting Rights for 16-Year-Olds (July 16, 2025) The United Kingdom passes legislation allowing 16-year-olds to vote in national elections, aiming to boost youth engagement. Critics argue it skews elections toward progressive agendas; supporters see it as democratic progress.
* Trump Nominates Emile Bove to Third Circuit Court (July 16, 2025) President Trump nominates former prosecutor Emile Bove to the Third Circuit Court of Appeals, citing his tough-on-crime record. Conservatives praise the pick; Democrats oppose Bove’s Trump ties.
* Maria Salazar Proposes Limited Amnesty for Migrants (July 16, 2025) Representative Maria Salazar introduces a bill offering temporary legal status for certain undocumented immigrants with long-term U.S. ties. Hardline conservatives oppose any amnesty; moderates see it as pragmatic.
* Ken Paxton Sues Masters Swimming Over Transgender Policy (July 16, 2025) Texas AG Ken Paxton files a lawsuit against U.S. Masters Swimming, challenging its transgender athlete rules as discriminatory to biological females. The suit aligns with conservative pushes for sex-based sports categories.
* Colbert’s Late Show Cancelled Amid Declining Ratings (July 17, 2025) CBS cancels The Late Show with Stephen Colbert due to falling viewership and shifting audience preferences. Conservatives cheer the end of left-leaning programming; fans lament the loss.
* Bank of England Tests Lenders for U.S. Dollar Shock Resilience (July 17, 2025) The Bank of England requires select lenders to test resilience against U.S. dollar-related financial shocks, citing global volatility. The move raises concerns about U.S.-centric financial stability.
* Trump Orders Release of Epstein Grand Jury Testimony (July 18, 2025) President Trump directs Attorney General Pam Bondi to seek court approval for releasing Jeffrey Epstein’s 2019 grand jury testimony, responding to MAGA demands. Supporters praise it; critics say it’s insufficient.
* Gabbard Alleges Obama-Led 2016 Election Interference (July 18, 2025) Director of National Intelligence Tulsi Gabbard claims declassified documents show Obama officials manufactured intelligence linking Trump’s 2016 win to Russia. Democrats call it revisionism; MAGA demands prosecutions.
* SCOTUS Declines to Block Trump’s Education Department Cuts (July 19, 2025) The Supreme Court refuses to intervene in Trump’s executive actions to cut Department of Education funding, citing presidential authority. Conservatives celebrate; progressives warn of harm to public education.
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Don’t Panic!
Panicans wail and flop, stuck in a haze, Doubting the big moves, lost in old ways, Troosters stay sharp, always pack their towel, “Same old, same old,” the Panicans howl!
Tariffs hit hard, Panicans scream and shout, “We’re broke!” they wail, fears spilling out, They’re wrong, it’s not doom, don’t panic, trust the plan, A bold move wins, shifts the market’s hand!
The future’s here, so trust the plan!, Trust, trust, trust… TRUST THE PLAN! And DON’T PANIC!
A feud sparks loud, Panicans moan and fret, “Dreams crash!” they cry, drowning in regret, They’re wrong, it’s not bust, don’t panic, trust the plan, A fight lights the way, a bold new stand.
You’re stuck on repeat, doubt clouds your eyes, This spark clears the way, so rise and realize, The future’s here, so trust the plan!, Trust, trust, trust… TRUST THE PLAN! And DON’T PANIC!
Fight, fight, fight, make the future grow!, DON’T PANIC!, it’s a bold, wild show, Trust, trust, trust, America’s so bright!, Join the fight, trust the plan, it’ll be alright!
Bombs shake the sand, Panicans quake and yell, “It’s doom!” they cry, fears a frantic spell, They’re wrong, it’s not lost, don’t panic, trust the plan, A spark brings peace, a winning stand.
You’re stuck on repeat, doubt clouds your eyes, This blaze clears the way, so rise and realize, The future’s here, so trust the plan!, Trust, trust, trust… TRUST THE PLAN! DON’T PANIC!DON’T PANIC!
Fight, fight, fight, make the future grow!, DON’T PANIC!, it’s a wild, wild show, Trust, trust, trust, America’s so bright!, Join the fight, trust the plan, it’ll be alright!
Fight, fight, fight, make the future grow!, DON’T PANIC!, it’s a wild, wild show, Trust, trust, trust, America’s so bright!, Join the fight, trust the plan, it will be alright!
Drop the gloom, you Panicans, leave “nothing’s new” behind, The plan’s alive, the stars align, so clear your frantic mind! DON’T PANIC!, America’s winning, glory’s ours to claim, Hop aboard, feel the joy, thank you for your attention to this matter!
The future’s here, so trust the plan!, Trust, trust, trust… TRUST THE PLAN! And DON’T PANIC!
DON’T PANIC!DON’T PANIC!DON’T PANIC!
Fight, fight, fight, make the future grow!, DON’T PANIC!, it’s a wild, wild show, Trust, trust, trust, America’s so bright!, Join the fight, trust the plan, it will be alright!
You lash out at improbability, Holding tight to impossibility, Making doom your personality, And you whine, And you cry, And you lie, And you think your cynicism makes you wise... But you’re just a Panican...
DON’T PANIC!!!
