Hey folks, Jeff here, with Adjust Accordionly—Episode 17: Roll Out the Cracker, blasting August 17–23, 2025, with more heat than a boomer torching a Cracker Barrel gift card! Michigan’s ballot-stuffing Dems get crushed by Trump’s mail-in ban, while DC’s streets gleam murder-free under his iron fist. Epstein and Maxwell’s elite secrets spill, sending panicans into an X-fueled frenzy. DHS boots 1.5 million illegals, and Noem’s ICE planes rev up for more. This polka’s a MAGA banger, and “Cyberbully’s” chiptune chaos memes the left into oblivion. Subscribe on Substack, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, and keep the Trooster polka rockin’!
Eternal White Boy Summer Radio: https://ewbsx.app/
Polka Week in Review: August 17 to 23, 2025
Polka week in review, August seventeen to twenty-three’s news, Headlines blaze, we set the pace, let’s a-polka through, From DC’s sweep to elites’ dark heap, let’s go one-two-three, Grab your accordion, let’s set it, Adjust Accordionly!
Michigan ballots stuffed, Trump bans mail-in votes, fraud’s end in sight, DC graffiti gone, murder’s done, Trump’s cleanup shines so bright, Gabbard strips, hoaxers’ rights, Missouri AG’s now FBI man, Israeli diddler nabbed, then let go, Bolton’s mustache gets slammed, Epstein files released, Maxwell’s transcript reads, still panicans cry, MS kicked from NBC, Mamdani arms very tiny, no surprise!
Week’s a blast, news moves fast, polka’s got that swing! Trump’s fight’s bold, left’s tales fold, let the tubas ring!
Hey, Trump hosts European leaders, Zelensky arrives in tails, Ho, USA births tank, Cracker Barrel rolls out fails, No liberal lies, we’ll keep the beat, our spirit’s never wrong, Hey, ho, Adjust Accordionly!
DHS slams migrant acts, visas checked, millions flee Trump’s might, Indian truckers kill, work visas paused, borders locked up tight, Fake Marines threaten ICE, Letitia’s fraud, justice coming fast, Noem ICE planes, Uganda for Maryland Man, deportations blast, Border wall painted black, Guard troops stack, illegals out the door, Chicago to host Natty Guard, Finicum’s kin question, FBI’s lore!
Week’s a spark, rips through the dark, polka’s got that flair! MAGA’s rise, no compromise, news fills the air!
Week’s a blaze, left’s in a haze, hear the polka’s roar, From Trump’s border slam to elites’ scam, we settle the score! With grit and might, we’ll win the fight, our spirit’s unbound, Dance to the news, accordion’s muse, let truth’s sound be found!
Hey, DeSantis dumps tax, McMahon cuts rules, freedom’s on the rise, Ho, Canada tariffs cave, stocks hit highs, economy flies, Design chief builds, Intel stake seals, America’s future gleams, Hegseth and RFK flex, Kennedy Center’s Trump’s, it seems, No elite deceit, we’ll keep the beat, our polka’s always strong, Hey, ho, Adjust Accordionly!
Adjust Accordionly!
News Headlines Covered: August 17 to 23, 2025
* Michigan Dem Councilman Caught Stuffing Ballots (August 17) A Michigan Democratic councilman is nabbed for illegally stuffing ballots, fueling voter fraud outrage and prompting calls for election reform.
* Los Angeles Mayor Bass Slams Trump’s DC Takeover (August 17) Mayor Karen Bass rips into Trump’s federalization of DC police, decrying it as authoritarian while Trump supporters cheer the move.
* DC Graffiti Erased Under Trump’s Cleanup (August 17) Trump’s aggressive DC cleanup initiative erases graffiti citywide, restoring order and boosting local morale with a pristine capital.
* DHS Announces Penalties for Illegal Migrant Activities (August 17) DHS unveils stringent penalties targeting illegal migrant activities, ramping up enforcement to deter border violations nationwide.
* Gabbard Revokes Security Clearances for Intel Hoaxers (August 17) Tulsi Gabbard yanks security clearances from intelligence officials tied to election hoaxes, exposing deep-state meddling in a bold sweep.
* Indian Trucker’s Crash Kills 4 in Ohio (August 17) An Indian trucker’s reckless crash in Ohio kills four, igniting debates over foreign driver safety and immigration policies.
* Trump Pauses Indian Trucker Work Visas (August 17) Trump halts work visas for Indian truckers after a deadly Ohio crash, prioritizing American safety and jobs in a swift crackdown.
* Israeli Cyber Chief Alexandrovich Nabbed as Pedophile (August 17) Tom Artiom Alexandrovich, Israeli National Cyber Directorate official, is arrested in a Las Vegas sting for luring a minor online, sparking global controversy.
* MS NOW Rebrands After MSNBC Ratings Flop (August 17) MSNBC rebrands as My Source News Opinion World (MS NOW) after catastrophic ratings, ditching NBC’s peacock logo in a desperate bid to survive.
* Trump Lowers Refugee Cap to Historic Low (August 17) Trump slashes the US refugee cap to an all-time low, prioritizing national security and curbing immigration amid public support.
* DeSantis Eliminates Florida Property Taxes (August 17) Governor Ron DeSantis abolishes Florida property taxes, saving homeowners billions and cementing his pro-freedom economic legacy.
* Trump Bans Mail-In Voting Nationwide (August 17) Trump imposes a nationwide mail-in voting ban, citing rampant fraud risks and aiming to restore trust in elections.
* Epstein Files Released, Expose Elite Connections (August 18) Unsealed Epstein files reveal sordid ties to global elites, reigniting demands for justice and accountability among the powerful.
* Maxwell’s Prison Interviews Leaked, Fuel Outrage (August 18) Leaked Ghislaine Maxwell prison interviews expose elite cover-ups, enraging the public and amplifying calls for transparency.
* Musk Plans “White Dudes for Trump” Party (August 18) Elon Musk organizes a provocative “White Dudes for Trump” bash, triggering liberal meltdowns and X-fueled hype.
* Finicum Family Questions FBI Awards for LaVoy’s Assassination (August 18) The Finicum family demands answers after FBI agents receive awards for LaVoy Finicum’s fatal 2016 standoff, alleging a targeted assassination.
* Trump Hosts European Leaders at White House (August 18) Trump dominates a White House summit, forcing European leaders to bend to his America First agenda in a diplomatic flex.
* Zelensky Attends in Formal Suit, Ditching Tracksuit (August 18) Ukraine’s Zelensky swaps his tracksuit for a suit at Trump’s White House summit, signaling deference to MAGA’s global clout.
* USA Birth Rate Hits Record Low (August 19) The US birth rate crashes to a historic low, alarming demographers and sparking debates over cultural and economic decline.
* McMahon Cuts Department of Education Regulations (August 19) McMahon torches Department of Education red tape, slashing federal overreach and empowering local schools with less bureaucracy.
* Fake Spanish-Speaking Marines Threaten ICE Agents (August 20) Spanish-speaking impostors, posing as Marines, threaten ICE agents, escalating border tensions and exposing security gaps.
* Ed Martin Sues Letitia James for Fraud (August 20) Ed Martin files a fraud lawsuit against NY AG Letitia James, accusing her of abusing prosecutorial power in a political witch hunt.
* DHS Reviews All Visa Programs (August 20) DHS launches a sweeping review of all visa programs, targeting loopholes to strengthen immigration enforcement nationwide.
* 1.5 Million Illegal Immigrants Leave USA (August 20) Trump’s relentless immigration crackdown drives 1.5 million illegal immigrants to flee, reshaping the demographic landscape.
* Missouri AG Joins FBI as Deputy Director (August 20) Missouri’s Attorney General takes FBI deputy director role, bolstering Trump’s law enforcement team with a conservative powerhouse.
* Noem Pushes for ICE Deportation Planes (August 21) Kristi Noem demands ICE deploy dedicated planes for mass deportations, aiming to turbocharge illegal immigrant removals.
* “Maryland Man” Garcia, Illegal Alien and Human Trafficker, Deported to Uganda (August 21) Kilmar Abrego Garcia, an illegal alien and convicted human trafficker is deported to Uganda under Trump’s policies.
* Border Wall Painted Black for Intimidation (August 21) The US-Mexico border wall is painted black, a bold move to deter crossings with a menacing aesthetic overhaul.
* DC Reports Zero Murders for First Time (August 22) DC achieves a historic first with zero murders, credited to Trump’s aggressive policing reforms and federal oversight.
* FBI Raids John Bolton’s Home (August 22) The FBI storms John Bolton’s home in a mysterious raid, hinting at deep-state targeting amid swirling speculation.
* Canada Caves to Trump’s Tariff Demands (August 23) Canada folds to Trump’s tariff threats, securing favorable trade terms that boost US economic leverage.
* Stock Market Hits Record Highs (August 23) The US stock market skyrockets to all-time highs, driven by Trump’s pro-growth policies and investor confidence.
* Trump Appoints Chief Design Officer for Infrastructure (August 23) Trump names a Chief Design Officer to oversee bold, patriotic infrastructure projects, reimagining America’s skyline.
* National Guard Deployed to Curb Chicago Crime (August 23) 1,700 National Guard troops deploy to Chicago, tackling rampant crime with a heavy-handed response.
* 1,700 Guard Troops Reinforce Border Security (August 23) An additional 1,700 National Guard troops bolster US-Mexico border security, fortifying Trump’s immigration crackdown.
* Trump Secures Intel Stake for US Tech (August 23) Trump negotiates a major Intel stake, boosting US tech independence and countering global competitors.
* Mamdani’s Bench Press Fail Goes Viral (August 23) Mamdani’s pathetic bench press attempt becomes a viral X joke, mocking liberal weakness with ruthless glee.
* Cracker Barrel’s Logo Change Sparks Backlash (August 23) Cracker Barrel’s woke logo redesign ignites nationwide ridicule, with boycotts threatening the chain’s bottom line.
* Hegseth, RFK Jr. Compete in Pull-Up Challenge (August 23) Pete Hegseth and RFK Jr. face off in a viral pull-up contest, flexing MAGA grit and owning the libs.
* Kennedy Center Rebrands for Trump (August 23) The Kennedy Center adopts a Trump-centric rebrand, infuriating liberals and claiming cultural victory for MAGA.
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Cyberbully
If politics has you feeling this way, It’s time to step back, step back and unplug, Find a better outlet for every-day, Find someone to give, to give you a hug
There’s no reason to feel this way, It’s unhealthy and it’s unclean, There are a million things wrong with what you are, Things aren’t the things, the way things seem—
There’s something wrong, Something wro-ong with them, Why can’t they feel, Why can’t they fee-ee-eel joy—
It’s an endless paranoia, a fear of everything, No fun— They’re no fun—at all!
And so we must!
Meme them— Meme them ‘til they cry, Meme them ‘til they cry and, Make memes about them crying
Bully— Bully them so hard, Bully them so hard that, They harm themselves
We don’t— We don’t have to live, We don’t have to live like, This—oooh-ooh-oh
We dee— Deserve much more, We deserve to live, Live amongst ourselves
In a world of hope, In a world of joy, They seethe and cope, A tantrum to destroy
Their world is dark, Their world is bleak, They wallow in, In misery—
And so we must!
Meme them— Meme them ‘til they cry, Meme them ‘til they cry and, Make memes about them crying
Become, Become what they need, Become what they need, Become their cyberbully
Meme them— Meme them ‘til they cry, Meme them ‘til they cry and, Make memes about them crying
Become, Become what they need, Become what they need, Become their cyberbully
Meme them— Meme them ‘til they cry, Meme them ‘til they cry and, Make memes about them crying
Meme them, Become their cyberbully
