Have you ever had to have a difficult conversation with someone on your team?Maybe they screwed something up, or were behaving poorly. Maybe you had to deliver some news they weren’t likely to enjoy.I know a few people who genuinely relish diving into a challenging conversation, but most of the people I know would wish them all away if they could.Here’s the thing: I can’t make difficult conversations go away, but I do know the secret to making them more manageable. Also, you aren’t going to like it.The secret is not a conversational tactic in a book. Those can be helpful, but that’s not the real game changer.What fundamentally changes these conversations is developing the trust-rich relationships that are necessary to be heard.This isn’t an elixir. This isn’t a foolproof way to make sure the other person doesn’t get defensive or even angry. This is a way of establishing – in the days, weeks, and months prior to the conversation – that you care about their success and are going to give them the encouragement and correction necessary to help them win.You can’t control how someone will react in a tension-filled moment, but you can cement in their mind that you are FOR them through your actions TOWARD them on all the days when a difficult conversation isn’t necessary.Take an interest in the things that are important to them. Be honest with them about their performance over and over again. Offer routine encouragement and correction (Batting Practice Feedback) to help them grow. Ask for their input and feedback. Be willing to admit your own mistakes. Be honest with yourself about their capabilities and your tolerances. Resenting them for not being able to live up to your expectations is unfair. If they can’t win where they are, help them find a new path.Generally, treat them like someone you care about.If you can’t do that, they might not be the problem after all.TRY THIS: Offer someone on your team encouragement this week about something they are doing well. Offer someone on your team correction this week about how they could improve something that isn’t really working. One is not good and the other bad, both are just levers to help your people WIN.My free PDF, “The 5 Secrets of Impossibly Effective Teams,” will show you the simple leadership moves that help teams unlock their full potential and deliver outsized results, without burning out. Grab your copy now at geoffwelch.com/secrets
