Keith and Laura dive into feedback with the help of Douglas Stone and Sheila Heen’s book, Thanks for the Feedback. Laura introduces the three core types of feedback: appreciation, coaching, and evaluation. Appreciation fuels motivation, coaching aims to build skills, and evaluation measures performance against expectations.Inspired by Arnold Schwarzenegger’s newsletter and the book Thanks for the Feedback, Laura shares stories from early marriage, professional music juries, and even social media comments to show how credibility, history, and our own blind spots shape how feedback feels. She focuses on reframing even evaluative feedback into coaching by asking, “What could this help me learn?” and reminds us that it is healthy to set clear boundaries around which topics are open for feedback and which are not.Keith reflects on being quick to coach and slow to realize when his “help” feels like evaluation. He talks about internalizing criticism, reacting too quickly, and how online comments can sting even when they are vague or unhelpful. Keith embraces the idea that not all feedback is equal and that comments often reveal more about the giver than the receiver. He underscores the importance of pausing—before responding to criticism and before offering advice—so that intention and impact can better align.Laura emphasizes a growth mindset: reframing evaluative feedback into coaching and using questions to understand rather than dismiss. She also highlights the importance of boundaries—being clear about what topics are off-limits for feedback (e.g., parenting, body, workouts), especially in personal or holiday-family contexts, while acknowledging that such limits are harder to set at work. Keith reflects on his own tendency to internalize criticism, his “advice monster” (Michael Bungay Stanier) habit of jumping in to coach, and the need to pause both when giving and receiving feedback so intent and impact can better align.For Laura and Keith, feedback is one of the most powerful tools for growth, and one of the most uncomfortable. By distinguishing between appreciation, coaching, and evaluation, it becomes much easier to stay curious instead of defensive. It’s not about perfection, but awareness—of your patterns, your triggers, and the stories you tell yourself in the moment feedback lands. When understood, named, and received with intention, feedback propels us forward in reaching goals and strengthen relationships.Thanks For Joining Us.Thanks … for the Feedback🔊 LISTEN ON: ⚪️ with Keith and Laura🟠 Overcast🟣 Apple 🟢 Spotify 🔵 Amazon 🟠 Audible🔴 YouTube 🔴 YouTube Music📺 Full Episode Playlist📱 Shorts Playlist⚫️ Make Create Build Links- - - Check out withkeithandlaura.comFusebox the podcast hosting and player we use. Check it out! 💻If you buy something using one of our affiliate links, we may receive a small commission.* 🤗The show notes were created with assistance from Perplexity AI, w
