Have you ever gone through a transition that forced you out of your comfort zone, clawing at the walls, kicking and screaming?
What about right now? Are you experiencing something you'd really rather not be going through and wondering, "Why me??"
Sometimes, situations come up that hit us like a two-by-four to the face making us question what on earth we did to deserve them.
So, to prevent experiencing uncomfortable or painful things, we might avoid making any moves at all. If everything stays the same, big bad change can't come in and wreck everything, right?
Well, my friend, that is called resistance. And it doesn't serve you. In fact, it often creates the very experiences you're desperately hoping to avoid.
I'll give you an analogy to really drive the point home.
You know when you feel nauseous and you have the horrible sensation that you're going to throw up? Everything in you wants to avoid that because it sucks while it's happening. I mean, it's the worst, right?
BUT, once it's over, you feel instant relief. Somehow the room is brighter, your steps are lighter, you can smile, maybe even drink something.
That's what change is like! It sucks while you're anticipating it, sometimes it sucks while it's happening, but when you make it through, everything is different in the best way.
Accepting what you can't control and embracing unexpected detours can hugely influence what you fear and reveal that you have waaay more power than you think. If you can get through a tough time, there's sweet relief on the other side, and as an added perk, you're more resilient, courageous, and wise too!
This week, in episode four of the podcast, we explore the possibility that uncomfortable change is not only happening for you but is compounding deep personal growth in a short period of time.
Episode #4: Change Is Happening FOR You
[00:45] Ron talks about where the term "Change Evolutionist" comes from and defines the process of change.
[02:30] Change that comes from the head ("I should") versus change that comes from the heart ("I want").
[04:30] Making changes in moments of motivation. Why do these changes fizzle out over time?
[05:35] Reversing the process - making incremental changes over time that eventually lead you toward your end goal.
[6:35] Using experiments to find areas of resistance.
[7:10] You may think you need a certain change, but it might not always be the one you need.
[8:20] Resisting the changes that you know you should make but don't necessarily want to do.
"Discipline is choosing between what you want NOW and what you want MOST." Abraham Lincoln.
[12:23] The brain says "You should" and meets the most resistance, but the heart says "I want," which is immediately met with less resistance.
[13:30] What happens if you take away the guilt from all the things you "should" be doing that you aren't?
[15:40] Change that's motivated by societal shame meets with great resistance.
[17:10] Allow the heart to ask, "Why does this need to change?" and make space for being, accepting, and appreciating.
[17:50] The ego's role in making changes for the wrong reasons.
"Just who you are, as you show up, is enough."
[20:33] Don't feel pressured to make big changes right away. Create little experiments to test what changes are necessary and how you feel about making them. Then, collect the data.
[22:50] Change is like fear - when you confront it, it's less scary than you imagined it to be.
[23:35] Ron talks about how a divorce several years ago helped him understand that devastating and life-altering changes can be beneficial and serve as catalysts for deep personal growth, creating a rich and more meaningful life.
[26:40] Ron talks about how he helps people go from real despair to finding hope again by recognizing the role of the ego in their suffering and facing an irrational fear of change.
[30:15] Janelle talks about facing the fear of not being capable of navigating change successfully.
[31:30] Life experiences sometimes dish you up what you need - Janelle talks about a forced career change in her late forties that she was able to embrace fully.
[34:00] Are unexpected changes your purpose nudging you? Are you more willing to try new things when you're pushed out of your comfort zone?
[34:38] Why is this happening for you?
"He delivers the afflicted by their affliction and opens their ear by adversity." Job 36:15
[36:30] Trust that something great is in store. Accept that you are safe and things you cannot see are working on your behalf.
[37:25] Ron gives a hallway/door analogy you don't want to miss!
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