I recently was working with someone on his mindset around dating. He was saying how he had difficulty seeing what he had to offer in a relationship, although he would desperately like to have one. He went on to talk about how he doesn’t have a job, how he doesn’t drive, how he hasn’t dated in a long time, and the list went on.
When he got done, I asked “How much time do you spend thinking about what you DO have to offer?” He opened his mouth to say something and then laughed. “I never thought about it that way,” he admitted.
Today we’re going to talk about managing your mind for better outcomes for dating.
Where’s Your Focus?
- If you want to date but your thoughts are filled with what’s “wrong” with you, you won’t get far. We often think our feelings cause our thoughts when in reality, the opposite is true. Our thoughts cause our feelings.
- So if we’re thinking about all our flaws and what we lack, we’re not going to feel too good about ourselves. We’re certainly not going to feel like we’re “date worthy” material.
- We tend to set ourselves up for failure by what we think.
How to Manage Your Mind
- The most effective way to produce more desired results in your life is learn how to manage your mind. Here’s what I mean by that - first, you become aware of your thoughts and then begin catching yourself when you have a negative thought. You then redirect your focus to a thought that is going to better serve you.
- How this looks in action is you may have a thought that you don’t work and therefore, you don’t have a lot to offer in terms of finances. You realize this thought doesn’t make you feel good and you ask yourself, what can I offer? Maybe it’s a friendly personality, maybe you’re a great cook, or really know how to treat someone well. You then redirect your mind, almost like it’s a little kid, to focus on those thoughts in place of the negative ones.
- This is how we manage our thoughts, aka, our minds. This is the most effective strategy I used to find dating and relationship success in my life.
Where Do We Go From Here?
- Where is your attention when it comes to dating and relationships? Are your thoughts blocking your success or creating it? Are you managing your thoughts to love on yourself or tear yourself down?
- Your mind is the most powerful tool you own. Use it to put your focus and mental energy on what will increase your self esteem and confidence in dating.
- Download the free resource in the show notes, 10 Affirmations for Dating Confidently with a Disability. The download not only gives you the affirmations, but tells you why they work. It will help retrain your mind to focus on the positive, rather than the negative.
Resources
Check out our Dating Memberships:
Dating Made Easier (for all people wanting to date) - is a monthly membership for anyone (with or without disabilities) who wants support and guidance in dating skills and getting the RESULTS you want in dating and relationships. Click here to learn more.
Supporting Dating and Relationships membership (for special educators and professionals in disability services) - is for professionals in the disability field who are looking for training and resources to effectively help students/people with disabilities in developing dating and relationship skills. Click here to learn more.
Music by Successful Motivation |
Artwork photo by Elevate
