This week we’re talking about the second core principle, or table leg, to my DRD framework- dating confidence. I hear frequently, and I felt this way also when I was single, “I’m pretty confident in general, but when it comes to dating, it’s another story.”
- Why is it the dating scene feels so much different than other areas of our lives? One word - vulnerability.
- Dating and relationships add this extra special layer of vulnerability when we’re in them that can affect confidence.
Confidence and Vulnerability
- The two can coexist and can actually be strengthened by one another.
- If you want to dive more deeply into the topic of vulnerability, I recommend reading or watching anything by Brene Brown. She has a treasure chest of wisdom on vulnerability. One of them being “What makes you vulnerable, makes you beautiful.”
- I believe the best way to grow dating confidence is to actually acknowledge how vulnerable you feel. It’s often when we fight against our vulnerability that it weakens our confidence because we’re spending so much mental energy defending against feeling vulnerable.
Growing Dating Confidence
- Begin by taking some action. Look we can talk about confidence all we want, but we need to combine it with taking some type of action. It can be small. Check out a dating app, share with a friend you’re thinking about dating, make eye contact and smile at someone you find attractive.
- Replace those negative messages you give yourself, you know the ones that tend to tear down your confidence, with more positive ones. Love on yourself. See Ep 4.
- When you don’t feel confident, ask yourself, “If I were to feel confident in this moment, how would I think, feel and act?” And then do so. It’s not faking it, it’s practicing.
Where Do We Go From Here?
- You’ll hear me say repeatedly here that much of the work of DRD begins with you. Yes, you listening while you get dress, wait for a ride, or much away on the rest of the Oreo cheesecake in the fridge. You, who longs for companionship, love and good sex.
- People can support and cheer you on in growing dating confidence, but at the end of the day, you have to make the commitment to yourself to foster your own confidence.
- If you’re struggling with doing so, reach out for professional help. There are a sea of wonderful counselors out there who can really work with you to grow and nurture your confidence.
Resources
Credits
Music by: https://www.purple-planet.com
Check out our Dating Memberships:
Dating Made Easier (for all people wanting to date) - is a monthly membership for anyone (with or without disabilities) who wants support and guidance in dating skills and getting the RESULTS you want in dating and relationships. Click here to learn more.
Supporting Dating and Relationships membership (for special educators and professionals in disability services) - is for professionals in the disability field who are looking for training and resources to effectively help students/people with disabilities in developing dating and relationship skills. Click here to learn more.
Music by Successful Motivation |
Artwork photo by Elevate
